Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
Carnivores and Casualty Lists
At a Florida zoo there was until last week a charming young zookeeper who billed herself as “The Tiger Whisperer.” She cared for the zoo’s tigers and gave presentations about them. Sometimes she painted her face like a tiger.
So cute.
So adorable.
So dead.
The charming young zookeeper forgot the prime directive – no matter how many Disney cartoons you’ve seen, to a carnivore you are nothing more than lunch.
+ + +
Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders used campaign contributions to charter a big ol’ jet plane for himself and his family to fly to Rome where he gave a ten-minute presentation on socialism. He may or may not have met the Pope. Then he and his family flew back.
Could you and I score a deal like that? We could fly in a chartered jet to conferences all over the world to talk about poverty (“Another glass of champagne over here, please…) and global warming (“Keep the engines running; we won’t be in Rome overnight.”).
+ + +
According to BuzzFeed (whatever that is), Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton’s speaking fees top $200,000.
$200,000 for a speech. Do you think someone might want a return on that someday?
Several years ago I gave a speech to the local volunteer fire department. They gave me supper, which was far more than I deserved. To you and me, dear reader, firefighters are heroes; to presidential candidates they are only a category of potential voters.
+ + +
But let’s be fair: Donald Trump still wears something funny on top of his head and Ted Cruz is still channeling Pee Wee Herman.
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The death total so far at a music festival in Argentina is up to five. Should music festivals feature casualty lists?
+ + +
A friend in Louisiana was displaced by the flooding and was given refuge in a location where he had no access to the intergossip. I wrote him a letter. A real letter, with heading, inside address, salutation, body, complimentary close, and signature. Then I had to find a proper envelope and a postage stamp. The experience felt so Little House on the Prairie.
How sad that there are now no letters and, really, no photographs. When today’s twenty-somethings are old they will not be able to joy in rediscovering shoeboxes of forgotten letters and pictures – and, thus, joy in rediscovering their youth - for everything is but electrical ephemera on the intergossip, deleted when the machine’s little brain is full, or lost when the gadget is stolen or traded.
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Saturday, April 23, 2016
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
Hate-Chalk - weekly column
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
Hate-Chalk
Georgia’s Emory University, 180 years old, is one of the world’s great schools. Art, music, languages, literatures, science, medicine, public service – Emory is justly proud of its graduates’ accomplishments in every area of intellectual and artistic endeavor.
Unfortunately, a political slogan recently written in chalk on the sidewalks at Emory have provided a thin excuse for the usual suspects to claim the usual Aunt Pittypat vapors and demand investigations, safe spaces, and all the other victimist impedimenta of the self-indulgent.
The blood-curdling message was “Trump 2016” chalked here and there, triumphalist Trumpist trumpetings which to some forty students constituted a hate crime just like, y’know, not enough Che Guevara pizza days, and shooting Bambi’s mother, and, like, y’know, stuff. The Society for the Perpetually Offended protested to the president, James W. Wagner, who cravenly submitted to their demands and promised criminal investigations and prosecutions.
One wonders if complaints about scrawls of “Feel the Bern 2016” would have resulted in sending in the sensitivity police to arrest people.
Does anyone really want to feel the Bern? Sounds a little felony-assault creepy.
The entire student body of Emory, and by extension all university students, have been scorned on glowing electronic screens (hardly the press anymore) all over the world for their hypersensitivity and their anti-freedom demands.
And yet, as a real Emory student noted, the would-be censors of freedom constitute only about .05 % of Emory students.
As Conor Friedersdorf, no Trump fan, notes in his excellent article “How Emory’s Student Activists Are Fueling Trumpism” (http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/03/a-letter-to-emory-please-stop-fueling-trumpism/475356/), there is no evidence that more than one Emory student chalked Trumpetry. Further, chalked sidewalk messages are a tradition at Emory as they are on many campuses. If this chalked message is suppressed and its writer punished for free speech, then it follows that all subsequent chalked messages would be monitored through direct observation and security cameras by the Emory administration and by the campus and local police.
Now that would be insensitive.
According to Mr. Friedersdorf, the reaction (no irony intended) of the Emory student body was to criticize and mock the protestors for their demand that free speech be restrained.
Ironically, those students supporting free speech feel compelled to do so through anonymous websites. One infers that the majority of Emory students, who are in favor of freedom of speech even for candidates and causes they dislike, must argue in favor of free speech anonymously for fear of retribution from other students and perhaps elements in the administration.
Chalk is a last medium for free expression since all email, both in universities and in what we may with a wry smile refer to as the real world, is monitored. A very small number of future Stasi or OGPU functionaries at Emory now want the chalk and the sidewalks observed by police and spy cameras.
Suppression of discourse has obtained for the last half-century in universities in Cuba and North Korea, and occasional government-approved entertainments featuring geriatric three-chord commandos cannot obscure this unhappy reality. At Emory University, the happy reality is that only .05% of students disapprove of the free exchange of ideas.
The focus in this matter should be living the First Amendment, and not stereotyping Emory students or any other group.
After all, not every adult in Connecticut beats up little children for Easter eggs:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3511343/Marauding-parents-Easter-Egg-hunt-rampage-control-adults-push-children-ground-steal-buckets-leave-one-four-year-old-bloody-chaotic-free-event.html
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Mhall46184@aol.com
Hate-Chalk
Georgia’s Emory University, 180 years old, is one of the world’s great schools. Art, music, languages, literatures, science, medicine, public service – Emory is justly proud of its graduates’ accomplishments in every area of intellectual and artistic endeavor.
Unfortunately, a political slogan recently written in chalk on the sidewalks at Emory have provided a thin excuse for the usual suspects to claim the usual Aunt Pittypat vapors and demand investigations, safe spaces, and all the other victimist impedimenta of the self-indulgent.
The blood-curdling message was “Trump 2016” chalked here and there, triumphalist Trumpist trumpetings which to some forty students constituted a hate crime just like, y’know, not enough Che Guevara pizza days, and shooting Bambi’s mother, and, like, y’know, stuff. The Society for the Perpetually Offended protested to the president, James W. Wagner, who cravenly submitted to their demands and promised criminal investigations and prosecutions.
One wonders if complaints about scrawls of “Feel the Bern 2016” would have resulted in sending in the sensitivity police to arrest people.
Does anyone really want to feel the Bern? Sounds a little felony-assault creepy.
The entire student body of Emory, and by extension all university students, have been scorned on glowing electronic screens (hardly the press anymore) all over the world for their hypersensitivity and their anti-freedom demands.
And yet, as a real Emory student noted, the would-be censors of freedom constitute only about .05 % of Emory students.
As Conor Friedersdorf, no Trump fan, notes in his excellent article “How Emory’s Student Activists Are Fueling Trumpism” (http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/03/a-letter-to-emory-please-stop-fueling-trumpism/475356/), there is no evidence that more than one Emory student chalked Trumpetry. Further, chalked sidewalk messages are a tradition at Emory as they are on many campuses. If this chalked message is suppressed and its writer punished for free speech, then it follows that all subsequent chalked messages would be monitored through direct observation and security cameras by the Emory administration and by the campus and local police.
Now that would be insensitive.
According to Mr. Friedersdorf, the reaction (no irony intended) of the Emory student body was to criticize and mock the protestors for their demand that free speech be restrained.
Ironically, those students supporting free speech feel compelled to do so through anonymous websites. One infers that the majority of Emory students, who are in favor of freedom of speech even for candidates and causes they dislike, must argue in favor of free speech anonymously for fear of retribution from other students and perhaps elements in the administration.
Chalk is a last medium for free expression since all email, both in universities and in what we may with a wry smile refer to as the real world, is monitored. A very small number of future Stasi or OGPU functionaries at Emory now want the chalk and the sidewalks observed by police and spy cameras.
Suppression of discourse has obtained for the last half-century in universities in Cuba and North Korea, and occasional government-approved entertainments featuring geriatric three-chord commandos cannot obscure this unhappy reality. At Emory University, the happy reality is that only .05% of students disapprove of the free exchange of ideas.
The focus in this matter should be living the First Amendment, and not stereotyping Emory students or any other group.
After all, not every adult in Connecticut beats up little children for Easter eggs:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3511343/Marauding-parents-Easter-Egg-hunt-rampage-control-adults-push-children-ground-steal-buckets-leave-one-four-year-old-bloody-chaotic-free-event.html
-30-
Much Assembly Required - weekly column
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
Much Assembly Required
A member of the household purchased a leaf rake last week, which is a harmless enough object that doesn’t require registration or surrendering one’s credit card for a monthly fee. The label says “MADE IN USA,” and it must be true because manufacturers and distributors never tell lies. The handle is molded of that cream-colored goop that quickly warps into dysfunction.
The business end of the rake is plastic, which is good because when the old metal tines resigned from the business of raking leaves they were dragged out of retirement by the lawn mower and recycled as projectiles.
However, this purportedly made in the USA product was not finished. On the socket a sticker pointed to a hole in the socket and said “Install screw in handle socket hole.” The screw for the purpose was provided, but, really, isn’t the point of a manufactured product that it is manufactured?
Was there no one in the MADE IN USA factory who could drill a MADE IN USA hole and fit the MADE IN USA screw into MADE IN USA place?
One imagines buying a new car with a sticker on it that says “Install tires at the ends of the axles,” or a book with “Glue the pages together yourself.” Maybe grocery stores will offer to sell the customer a quart of milk as a cow and a bucket.
Anyone who has bought a vacuum cleaner well understands that the thesis is Much Assembly Required. To open the box containing THE AMAZING REVOLUTIONARY YOUR LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME EL DORADO AMERICAN-DESIGNED CIMMARON FABRIQUE EN CHINE ROCKY MOUNTAIN HOMBRE DUST DEVOURER DACHSHUND CHASING L’TORNADO MONSTER XTREEM is to be presented with a garage-sale clutter of plastic odds and ends, envelopes containing various sizes of screws, bolts, nuts, washers, and curious metal thingies, a booklet of instructions in seven languages, and enough packaging filler to exhaust the week’s garbage quota.
Some stores offer to assemble the product for you, but for an extra fee. “Yes, sir, eggs, sausage, toast, and coffee. Now cooking, plates, and flatware will be extra. And for a quarter you can have a napkin.”
For Christmas the spouse-person gave me a new fountain pen with the name of a fine old American company on it. How sad that this was only a Chinese-made pen with the old name on it, of poor quality, and without an ink reservoir. Shabby. I suppose I shouldn’t mention the brand name, only that I was Cross about it.
In a sense we humans assemble ourselves all our lives through the adventures we choose for ourselves and sometimes by those adventures given to us, whether or not we want them. We may choose to practice archery or welding or hiking or plumbing, but then find that we must also practice ill health or unemployment or loss or suffering. As our parents taught us, we sometimes aren’t given choices in life, but we can always choose how we respond to those challenges. We needn’t make shabby choices.
One does regret, however, responding to the challenge of assembling that vacuum cleaner with some shabby choices of language.
-30-
Mhall46184@aol.com
Much Assembly Required
A member of the household purchased a leaf rake last week, which is a harmless enough object that doesn’t require registration or surrendering one’s credit card for a monthly fee. The label says “MADE IN USA,” and it must be true because manufacturers and distributors never tell lies. The handle is molded of that cream-colored goop that quickly warps into dysfunction.
The business end of the rake is plastic, which is good because when the old metal tines resigned from the business of raking leaves they were dragged out of retirement by the lawn mower and recycled as projectiles.
However, this purportedly made in the USA product was not finished. On the socket a sticker pointed to a hole in the socket and said “Install screw in handle socket hole.” The screw for the purpose was provided, but, really, isn’t the point of a manufactured product that it is manufactured?
Was there no one in the MADE IN USA factory who could drill a MADE IN USA hole and fit the MADE IN USA screw into MADE IN USA place?
One imagines buying a new car with a sticker on it that says “Install tires at the ends of the axles,” or a book with “Glue the pages together yourself.” Maybe grocery stores will offer to sell the customer a quart of milk as a cow and a bucket.
Anyone who has bought a vacuum cleaner well understands that the thesis is Much Assembly Required. To open the box containing THE AMAZING REVOLUTIONARY YOUR LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME EL DORADO AMERICAN-DESIGNED CIMMARON FABRIQUE EN CHINE ROCKY MOUNTAIN HOMBRE DUST DEVOURER DACHSHUND CHASING L’TORNADO MONSTER XTREEM is to be presented with a garage-sale clutter of plastic odds and ends, envelopes containing various sizes of screws, bolts, nuts, washers, and curious metal thingies, a booklet of instructions in seven languages, and enough packaging filler to exhaust the week’s garbage quota.
Some stores offer to assemble the product for you, but for an extra fee. “Yes, sir, eggs, sausage, toast, and coffee. Now cooking, plates, and flatware will be extra. And for a quarter you can have a napkin.”
For Christmas the spouse-person gave me a new fountain pen with the name of a fine old American company on it. How sad that this was only a Chinese-made pen with the old name on it, of poor quality, and without an ink reservoir. Shabby. I suppose I shouldn’t mention the brand name, only that I was Cross about it.
In a sense we humans assemble ourselves all our lives through the adventures we choose for ourselves and sometimes by those adventures given to us, whether or not we want them. We may choose to practice archery or welding or hiking or plumbing, but then find that we must also practice ill health or unemployment or loss or suffering. As our parents taught us, we sometimes aren’t given choices in life, but we can always choose how we respond to those challenges. We needn’t make shabby choices.
One does regret, however, responding to the challenge of assembling that vacuum cleaner with some shabby choices of language.
-30-
Friday, April 8, 2016
Christos Voskrese! (Second Attempt)
(For Tod)
The world is unusually quiet this dawn
With fading stars withdrawing in good grace
And drowsy, dreaming sunflowers, dewy-drooped,
Their golden crowns all motionless and still,
Stand patiently in their ordered garden rows,
Almost as if they wait for lazy bees
To wake and work, and so begin the day.
A solitary swallow sweeps the sky;
An early finch proclaims his leafy seat
While Old Kashtanka limps around the yard
Snuffling the boundaries on her morning patrol.
Then wide-yawning Mikhail, happily barefoot,
A lump of bread for nibbling in one hand,
A birch switch swishing menace in the other
Appears, and whistles up his father’s cows:
“Hey! Alina, and Antonina! Up!
Up, up, Diana and Dominika!
You, too, Varvara and Valentina!
Pashka is here, and dawn, and spring, and life!”
And they are not reluctant then to rise
From sweet and grassy beds, with udders full,
Cow-gossip-lowing to the dairy barn.
Anastasia lights the ikon lamp
And crosses herself as her mother taught.
She’ll brew the tea, the strong black wake-up tea,
And think about that naughty, handsome Yuri
Who winked at her during the Liturgy
On the holiest midnight of the year.
O pray that watchful Father did not see!
Breakfast will be merry, an echo-feast
Of last night’s eggs, pysanky, sausage, kulich.
And Mother will pack Babushka’s basket,
Because only a mother can do that right
When Father Vasily arrived last night
In a limping Lada haloed in smoke,
The men put out their cigarettes and helped
With every precious vestment, cope, and chain,
For old Saint Basil’s has not its own priest,
Not since the Czar, and Seraphim-Diveyevo
From time to time, for weddings, holy days,
Funerals, supplies the needs of the parish,
Often with Father Vasily (whose mother
Begins most conversations with “My son,
The priest.…”), much to the amusement of all.
Voices fell, temperatures fell, darkness fell
And stars hovered low over the silent fields,
Dark larches, parking lots, and tractor sheds.
Inside the lightless church the priest began
The ancient prayers of desolate emptiness
To which the faithful whispered in reply,
Unworthy mourners at the Garden tomb,
Spiraling deeper and deeper in grief
Until that Word, by Saint Mary Magdalene
Revealed, with candles, hymns, and midnight bells
Spoke light and life to poor but hopeful souls.
The world is unusually quiet this dawn;
The sun is new-lamb warm upon creation,
For Pascha gently rests upon the earth,
This holy Russia, whose martyrs and saints
Enlighten the nations through their witness of faith,
Mercy, blessings, penance, and prayer eternal
Now rising with a resurrection hymn,
And even needful chores are liturgies:
“Christos Voskrese – Christ is risen indeed!”
And Old Kashtanka limps around the yard
Snuffling the boundaries on her morning patrol
Christos Voskrese! Republished from https://thefellowshipoftheking.net/2016/04/08/christos-voskrese/comment-page-1/#comment-1886
Fellowship of the King posted: " (For Tod) The world is unusually quiet this dawn With fading stars withdrawing in good grace And drowsy, dreaming sunflowers, dewy-drooped, Their golden crowns all motionless and still, Stand patiently in their ordered garden rows, Almost as if they wait"
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Sunday, April 3, 2016
School Bus Seatbelts - or Grave Markers? - weekly column
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@Aol.com
Seatbelts or Grave Markers
As we follow our own little trails through the woods of life we tend not to think about things we don’t think about, as Bertie Wooster might say.
One thing we were made to think about last week was the usefulness of seatbelts in school busses. We should indeed thank God that no young person was killed, and now we should thank God further by doing more ourselves to protect young people.
After the deaths of children in a school vehicle rollover near Beaumont ten years ago, I naively assumed that the “they” – which in truth is “we” – had done something about seatbelts. Beyond a bit of p.r. and some weak, vague, and unfunded suggestions by the State of Texas, well, no.
As Representative James White wisely says, "Here's the point, when it comes to the safety of our students…it’s not a state function or a local function. We need to prioritize and get it done."
And to paraphrase a popular slogan, when seconds count for your child’s safety, the State of Texas is years away.
School busses need seatbelts now because little humans traveling in those large tin cans need seatbelts if something goes wrong. We have heard all the excuses: “The kids won’t wear them,” “You can’t make them,” “They’ll just unbuckle them,” “It’s not cost-effective,” and on and on. None of those excuses is worth the life of a kid. Seatbelts need to be in place.
We are all caused out, and are quite properly suspicious of all the professional made-in-China ceramic ribbon appeals, all the raising-awareness puffery, and all the obviously errant nonsense, such as the idea that pouring a bucket of water over your head will cure a disease. Many of the scandals concerning the alligator-shoe boys and girls in charge of old and famous charities diverting great sums of donated funds to themselves appear to be real.
But here we have an immediate and local challenge which can be met by immediate and local solutions. Each year we all give to assist local school and out-of-school youth programs such as band, FFA, soccer, choir, baseball and softball leagues, and others. Let us add seatbelts to the mix. Seatbelts don’t make music, raise cows, kick field goals, sing prettily, or hit home runs, but they are nifty in their ability to save the lives of the children who do.
Let us look forward to seatbelt barbecues, seatbelt parking-lot sales, seatbelt dinners, seatbelt carwashes, seatbelt raffles, seatbelt bingo games, seatbelt bake sales, and seatbelt something-a-thons, all organized by local people whom we know and trust, not by out-of-town profit-professionals who take a cut.
Seatbelts, as unexciting as they are, are so much happier to think about than grave markers.
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