Fellowship of the King posted: " (For Tod) The world is unusually quiet this dawn With fading stars withdrawing in good grace And drowsy, dreaming sunflowers, dewy-drooped, Their golden crowns all motionless and still, Stand patiently in their ordered garden rows, Almost as if they wait"
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Friday, April 8, 2016
Sunday, April 3, 2016
School Bus Seatbelts - or Grave Markers? - weekly column
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@Aol.com
Seatbelts or Grave Markers
As we follow our own little trails through the woods of life we tend not to think about things we don’t think about, as Bertie Wooster might say.
One thing we were made to think about last week was the usefulness of seatbelts in school busses. We should indeed thank God that no young person was killed, and now we should thank God further by doing more ourselves to protect young people.
After the deaths of children in a school vehicle rollover near Beaumont ten years ago, I naively assumed that the “they” – which in truth is “we” – had done something about seatbelts. Beyond a bit of p.r. and some weak, vague, and unfunded suggestions by the State of Texas, well, no.
As Representative James White wisely says, "Here's the point, when it comes to the safety of our students…it’s not a state function or a local function. We need to prioritize and get it done."
And to paraphrase a popular slogan, when seconds count for your child’s safety, the State of Texas is years away.
School busses need seatbelts now because little humans traveling in those large tin cans need seatbelts if something goes wrong. We have heard all the excuses: “The kids won’t wear them,” “You can’t make them,” “They’ll just unbuckle them,” “It’s not cost-effective,” and on and on. None of those excuses is worth the life of a kid. Seatbelts need to be in place.
We are all caused out, and are quite properly suspicious of all the professional made-in-China ceramic ribbon appeals, all the raising-awareness puffery, and all the obviously errant nonsense, such as the idea that pouring a bucket of water over your head will cure a disease. Many of the scandals concerning the alligator-shoe boys and girls in charge of old and famous charities diverting great sums of donated funds to themselves appear to be real.
But here we have an immediate and local challenge which can be met by immediate and local solutions. Each year we all give to assist local school and out-of-school youth programs such as band, FFA, soccer, choir, baseball and softball leagues, and others. Let us add seatbelts to the mix. Seatbelts don’t make music, raise cows, kick field goals, sing prettily, or hit home runs, but they are nifty in their ability to save the lives of the children who do.
Let us look forward to seatbelt barbecues, seatbelt parking-lot sales, seatbelt dinners, seatbelt carwashes, seatbelt raffles, seatbelt bingo games, seatbelt bake sales, and seatbelt something-a-thons, all organized by local people whom we know and trust, not by out-of-town profit-professionals who take a cut.
Seatbelts, as unexciting as they are, are so much happier to think about than grave markers.
-30-
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
An Unscheduled Existential Stop - poem
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
An Unscheduled Existential Stop
Worn-out old khakis, old shirt, and old shoes
Coffee maker singing its matins and lauds
Sunlight falling through the air like a yawn
A book left open from the night before
The cat posing prettily in the window
Pretending to be wholly unimpressed
By tasty hummingbirds beyond the glass
This Saturday of no expectations
When the best clothes for this holiday are
Worn-out old khakis, old shirt, and old shoes
Friday, March 25, 2016
The Mysterious Closed Maybe and Unclosed Maybe Interstate - a three-dot column
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
The Mysterious Closed Maybe and Unclosed Maybe Interstate
This was all on the ‘net, and so must be true:
In Glen Rose, Texas a young mother stuffed her two-year-old into an oven and began cooking the infant.
Well, hey, it’s all about family, right?
But then the evil State intruded, and trampled all over the mother’s parental rights by saving the baby’s life.
+++
The leader of the Cuban protest group Ladies in White, Berta Soler, was invited to meet with President Obama. She was arrested hours before his plane landed, and so won’t be available for a chat.
“We’re filling out the forms now. We haven’t decided if [she] suffered a heart attack or died while trying to escape.” – not exactly Casablanca
+++
At a campaign rally a famous radio guy called a small boy to him and told the audience that the boy had been fasting one day a week for a correct outcome to the election.
Really? Parents are allowing a child to fast? Give that kid a sandwich and then a bumper sticker for his tricycle.
Fasting is an optional religious discipline for healthy adults. A healthy adult’s duty is to see that his child takes good nutrition every day.
+++
The Washington Examiner reports that Google has been involved in trying to overthrow the government of Syria. William Randolph Hearst, thou should be living at this hour.
+++
China is buying American companies, one after another. Maybe including Google. Well, that’s all right, as a nation of inspirational singer-songwriter-webinators we don’t need jobs, right?
+++
There’s a fellow in New York who, for a thousand dollars, will raise you from the dead. And, yes, he is his own church, with a 501C and everything.
Okay, how do you arrange for your resurrection with this guy? Do you pay in advance, or do you make a really long, long distance call after you’ve gone to your temporary reward? Is there time to pop down to the nearest ATM?
+++
Much praise of and gratitude to local first responders, local churches, and local individuals who quietly gave much in time and money to help the flood victims. They didn’t ask for praise or gratitude, but then they are not into me, me, me-ness.
As for that multi-national that was given so much radio time – nah.
+++
And, finally, a local ghost story, or perhaps one of those Unsolved Mysteries moments: Is Interstate 10 at the Texas / Louisiana border open? Is it closed? Is one lane open? Are two lanes open? In which direction? Says who? By what authority? How can anyone know?
Maybe New York’s tax-exempt resurrection guy can tell us. For a thousand bucks. Around a crystal ball: “Late at night, when the moon is full, on lonely roads along the Sabine River you might see a ghostly white Texas Department of Transportation pickup truck being pursued by dim, flickering lights…”
-30-
Not-So-Wildflowers - poem
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Not-So-Wildflowers
Wildflowers are not really wild, you know
They are not forward like catalogue blooms
Demanding the best seats in the garden
And the most delicate of drinks and soils
Wildflowers smile softly, sweetly at the sun
Shy fairy-folk of forest, field, and fen
Dancing through the warm mid-year months and then
Withdrawing quietly at summer’s end
Like children yawning, and wanting their beds -
Wildflowers are not really wild, you know
Monday, March 14, 2016
Should Chocolate Candy Boss You Around? - a frivolity
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
Should Chocolate Candy Boss You Around?
In life there are many occasions when individuals are subject to instruction: parents and teachers help guide children in their growing up, the State of Texas regulates traffic for the greater good (although one notes that the drivers of those big Texas Department of Transportation pickup trucks often seem to exhibit a cavalier attitude about speed, turn signals, and lane choices), and ministers lead the faithful in observance of religious teachings. The mature adult accepts all this.
Except TXDOT. What is it with them?
However, being lectured by a bit of foil-wrapped chocolate is too much.
For years now some living rooms have been decorated with directives instead of attractive pictures, nanny-ish signs reading “Love God and Do What Thou Wilt,” “Live, Love, and be Happy,” “Dance as if No One Were Watching,” and other Mary Poppins-esque precepts.
Now we’re being nagged by chocolates through theological and philosophical treatises printed inside the wrappers.
Here are some recent examples, with appropriate human responses:
V. Revive the art of conversation.
R. At a Donald Trump rally?
V. Give someone a compliment.
R. After verifying with an attorney that said compliment is not sexist, racist, LGBT-ist, or culturally insensitive.
V. Watch more cartoons.
R. Chuck Jones as John Keats?
V. Why not?
R. You first – why?
V. Treat Tuesday as Friday.
R. Participate in the Stations of the Cross, have a fishburger, and then attend a football game?
V. Keep them guessing.
R. Keep whom guessing? About what? Why?
V. Be more loquacious. Start with learning the word loquacious.
R. Just what we need, a smart-mouthed chocolate with a dictionary.
V. Kiss and tell.
R. No gentleman tells.
V. Solve arguments with a dance off.
R. Imagine Rommel and Montgomery doing the tango. In bikinis.
V. Stay up until the sunrise.
R. Folks on the night shift always stay up until the sunrise and later. What’s your point?
V. Lend an ear and a chocolate.
R. I come to bury Caesar, not to fatten him.
V. Get dressed up with no place to go.
R. You wear a cartoon tee to church. What do you call dressed up?
V. Choose less ordinary.
R. Given the loopiness of our times, the ordinary is probably a better choice.
V. Give them something to talk about.
R. Why? Adults choose their own topics of conversation. You’re not it.
So what are all these sugar-sodden orders-of-the-day about? Has Hershey re-defined itself as a church? Is Nestle channeling the Dalai Lama? Are the Dove people receiving telepathic commands from Obi Wan Kenobi? Will Cadbury’s do counseling, hypno-therapy, and weddings?
Many people complain that certain government agencies have become unconstitutionally authoritarian. Evidence suggests, however, that is seasonal candies who have gotten a bit too pushy. Maybe it’s time we put those pushy treats in their place: “Get ‘em out! Yeah, that Baby Ruth. And the Mars Bar. That’s right, get ‘em out! Gettttt ‘em out…!”
But all the humans should be nicer to each other. TXDOT, especially, needs a hug.
-30-
Thursday, March 10, 2016
A Baton, but no Orchestra - poem
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
A Baton, but no Orchestra
Majestic in their yellow-painted shields
Imperious trumping traffic lights command
Through glares of green and red, and garish orange
Obedience in all the traffic below
How sad - there is no traffic to command
Though once there was, before the lordly lights
Were lifted up: a little town was here
With pharmacies, feed stores, hardware, and cafes
And a movin’-picture show. All gone now.
And then the state put up the traffic lights
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
Frost on the Windshield - poem
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Frost on the Windshield
Poor Kirbyville is mostly closed this morning
The cinder-block bakery is empty
And the only fast-foodery’s not yet open
Its neon tubes still dark against the stars
But the stop ‘n’ rob is busy enough
The gas pumps serving as anchorages
For trucks and boats, some headed to the lake
After taking on coffee and gasoline
And sausage-biscuits greased and slammed, and wrapped
In yellow paper of such painful sadness
Mhall46184@aol.com
Frost on the Windshield
Poor Kirbyville is mostly closed this morning
The cinder-block bakery is empty
And the only fast-foodery’s not yet open
Its neon tubes still dark against the stars
But the stop ‘n’ rob is busy enough
The gas pumps serving as anchorages
For trucks and boats, some headed to the lake
After taking on coffee and gasoline
And sausage-biscuits greased and slammed, and wrapped
In yellow paper of such painful sadness
Monday, March 7, 2016
No Barbaric Yawps, Please - poem
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
No Barbaric Yawps, Please
Nobody writes poetry anymore
With patience gentling iambs into place
As if they were jewels set into a crown
Or Aves whispered through the Rosary
Nobody writes poetry anymore
Crafting images with a workman’s skill
(or bashing them through ‘prentice clumsiness!)
And shyly dreaming them into the world
Common nobility common to all -
Nobody writes poetry anymore
Attack of the Killer Cocktail Sombreros - op-ed
Lawrence Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
Attack of the Killer Cocktail Sombreros
Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain is one of the most admirable people in history. As a 34-year-old professor at Maine’s Bowdoin College he was beyond military age in 1862 but decided to enlist in the 20th Maine Infantry because of his profound belief in freedom for all.
Chamberlain is best known for his leadership in the Battle of Gettysburg. Surrounded and almost defeated by the 15th Alabama during a fierce battle among rocks and trees, with few remaining men still able to fight and out of ammunition, Chamberlain did something quite illogical – he ordered a bayonet charge, which saved the Union position. Unlike Viet-Nam era generals, who led from radios in air-conditioned bunkers, or modern generals, armed with pearl-handled resumes’, who lead from luxurious executive jets, Chamberlain led from the front.
In an era of theatrical facial hair sculpturing, Chamberlain adorned himself with a death-or-glory moustache that Asterix the Gaul might find a bit too much. General Chamberlain’s ‘stache all by itself could have frightened some of the Confederates on Round Top into surrendering.
Chamberlain fought in numerous battles, and was awarded the Medal of Honor, small compensation for the pain, infections, and operations he suffered all his life from multiple wounds.
After the war, Chamberlain served as governor of Maine and then as president of Bowdoin College. Chamberlain was not a backslapping fund-raiser; he also taught, at different times, every subject in the curriculum except science and mathematics.
In 1880, as commander of the militia, Chamberlain was called upon to resolve violence in the state capital of Augusta due to a contested election. He and his men ejected armed occupiers from the capitol and kept the peace for twelve days until the Maine supreme court made a ruling. On one occasion during this near-rebellion he faced down a mob that was determined to reoccupy the state house and kill him. He turned down bribes offered by both sides, being a man of honor instead of a deal-maker, and that was the end of his political career.
Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain died in 1914, honored for his courage, gallantry, and love of freedom.
Bowdoin College, another of Chamberlain’s great loves, does not at present appear to love freedom as much as he did. Students are being punished, and might be expelled, over sombreros.
Sombreros.
The putative objects of cultural appropriation and hurt-feelingness are not even real sombreros, but rather 2-3” party decorations, surely made in China, which a couple of giddy lads balanced on top of their heads after an encounter with a few glasses of merriment several weeks ago.
Perhaps the decorations should have been little homburgs, derbys, top hats, Prussian picklehauben, berets, trilbys, busbys, fedoras, fezes, kepis, kippahs, tams, tarbooshes, turbans, Mao caps, hoodies, cowboy hats, Irish walking hats, or workers’ hard hats. But wait – possibly neither the administration nor the students at progressive Bowdoin have any familiarity with workers’ hard hats.
Bowdoin’s administration collapsed tearfully into full Aunt Pittypat smelling-salts mode while accusations of cultural bias and the We Want Answers thing flew through the clean Maine air like General Pendleton’s cannon fire over the wheat fields at Gettysburg.
Yet the college did not cancel its annual Cold War party (that Stalin – what a fun guy) the same night of the attack of the cocktail sombreros, nor did the cafeteria modify its Mexican day menu the same week.
As a teenager applying to Bowdoin, Chamberlain needed help in prepping his knowledge of Greek and Latin, since the mastery of both was required for admission. Now, one supposes, young Chamberlain would have to demonstrate proficiency
Saturday, March 5, 2016
Not a Good Comrade - poem
Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com
Not a Good Comrade
No man is free if he gives up himself
And disappears into sad howlingness
Subsumed in sinking, shrieking subservience
Thrall-teed in the overseer’s livery
A label on a shabby baseball cap
A programmed pixel smeared across a screen
A rusty caltrop cast into the road
A shifted pea under a shuffled thimble
As crowd, as mass, as demographic noise -
No man is free if he yields up himself
Thursday, March 3, 2016
The Eye of Sauron is Upon Us - op-ed
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
The Eye of Sauron is Upon Us
There are frightened little men who in their feverish brains see conspiracies in everything: your license plate number is a secret code imposed by the Masonic-Vatican-IRS Continuum so that unmarked Canadian helicopters can track you, Queen Elizabeth is a diabolic lizard warrior in disguise, fluoride is a Communist mind-control drug, traffic signals beam your image and DNA to the Martian outpost on the dark side of the moon, and algebra is the language of Satan.
Well, okay, that bit about algebra being satanic is true.
But that Solomon’s Temple was a cleverly disguised alien spaceship, well, no. Sorry.
After Justice Scalia died several weeks ago, the mansies who live in their allotted gigabytes cluttered the planet’s microwave signals with fantasies about Justice Scalia being a member of a golly-gee-super-secret-girl-haters-blood-cult called The International Order of Saint Hubert.
Well, the International Order of Saint Hubert really exists, and it is so secret that it has a web site: http://www.iosh-usa.com/.
Justice Scalia was not a member of the International Order of Saint Hubert, which is no more significant than the fact that he was not a member of the Rotary Club and did not have a Barnes & Noble discount card.
The IOSH is indeed a hunting fraternity, one with a long and remarkable history, including the fact that its Grand Whatever was murdered by the Nazis because he wouldn’t let Hermann Goering join.
Here are the conspiracies carried out by the Order of Saint Hubert:
To promote sportsmanlike conduct in hunting and fishing
To foster good fellowship among sportsmen from all over the world
To teach and preserve sound traditional hunting and fishing customs
To encourage wildlife conservation and to help protect endangered species from extinction
To promote the concept of hunting and fishing as an intangible cultural heritage of humanity
To endeavor to ensure that the economic benefits derived from sports hunting and fishing support the regions where these activities are carried out
To strive to enhance respect for responsible hunters and fishermen
Wow. Scary stuff, huh?
The values of the International Order of Saint Hubert are not at all different from Justice Scalia’s equally exclusive club to which many of us belong, the Hunting Brotherhood of Grandpa’s Old J.C. Higgins Shotgun.
There is a Saint Hubert, whose conversion story is worth reading. He is the patron saint of hunters, mathematicians, opticians, and metalworkers.
Not a bad fellowship, that.
And, after all, mathematicians are in special need of our prayers.
-30-
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
How Lovely Not to be in Jail Tonight - poem
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
How Lovely Not to be in Jail Tonight
How lovely not to be in jail tonight
And have to share a small and smelly space
Under an eternal fluorescent light
With a dude who don’t like yer race or yer face
How grand to have a bed that’s long enough
With sheets and pillows and blankets all clean
And not a bare mattress sour-stained and rough
Against a wall of cinder blocks in green
And howlings from a soul who has lost life’s fight -
How thankful not to be in jail tonight
Snakes are on the Move - op-ed
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
Snakes are on the Move
Snakes are on the move. I saw my first snake of the spring in my yard the other day. He was a white male of medium height, bald or shaven-headed, aged 50-60, and hadn’t missed any meals lately. He slithered onto the property in a really primo, perhaps new Dodge Ram double-cab pickup, light-colored, with no signs or markings on the side. The security camera was a little fuzzy about the numbers.
And, yes, he, he began with that decades-old script of “We just finished a project over there, and…”
“No.”
“…leftover asphalt…”
“No.”
“I gather you’ve had a bad experience with…”
“No.”
You just can’t get into a conversation with fast-talking snakes; they know all sorts of forked-tongue-in-the-door responses and dodges and come-ons.
You probably know his cousin, that electronic attorney in Nigeria who is handling the estate of a distant relative you didn’t know you had who died and left you all his money if you will only give your bank numbers and…
No.
As the weather grows warmer more reptiles will infest the yard at the front door with their magazine subscriptions (“I’m working my way through college”), the man or woman looking at you through your window in the night and asking to use your phone, the carloads of committees with their strange little booklets decorated with crude drawings of the saved and unsaved, with poorly-written theses only a few brain synapse misfires away from those of the strange little men who assure you that the Second Temple was really an alien spaceship based on a technology that the lizard-something federal government doesn’t want you to know about, and the miscellaneous peddlers who begin with abject pleas of assistant which morph quickly into implied threats as their eyes dart about looking for whatever objects might be quickly picked up on a later visit when you’re not home.
And when you don’t buy their magazines or firewood or ideologies they sometimes tell you that you don’t love Jesus, and that Jesus wouldn’t turn away a poor man down on his luck, so down on his luck that he owns a better car than you do.
All this is only an annoyance for most of us, but for the more vulnerable the cold-blooded can be a real threat, both physical and emotional. Remembering those who are vulnerable helps you say no, and remembering those who have suffered tough times and sought out honest work helps you say no to the wandering opportunists looking for a victim.
Yup, the weather is warming up, and the snakes are beginning to move.
-30-
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Murus Durus - poem
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Someone asked if I could write a poem about a classroom wall:
Murus Durus
It’s hard to snuggle up to concrete blocks
Even when they’re layered in pastel paint
And fitted with a door (though no one knocks)
And high, thin windows rather cute and quaint
They make four walls that wrap us all around
To keep the warmth within, the cold without
And hold the roof up there, far off the ground
So all is cozy in our cool hangout
But though this space is nice, and even rocks -
It’s hard to snuggle up to concrete blocks
And Would You Hand Me My Cigarettes? - poem
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
And Would You Hand Me My Cigarettes?
Idleness should be an honored vocation
Practiced by layabouts and slugabeds
For whom Bertie Wooster is perfection
And merry old Sergeant Schultz a hero
For good folk, dawn is only a rumor
And the concept of work an obscenity
No gentleman ever takes exercise
The only weight he lifts is his coffee cup
In amused salute to passing joggers:
Idleness should be an honored vocation
Monday, February 15, 2016
What Are You Giving Up For Lent? - poem
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
What are you giving up for Lent?
What are you giving up for Lent?
Well?
What?
Catholics. Maybe we should give up Catholics:
The me-me-support-me Catholics
More Catholic than we can ever be
Catholics more Catholic than anyone
Those clever keyboard commando Catholics
What are you giving up for Lent?
Adjectives, sure, but nothing Catholic
"World Economy in Death Spiral" - poem
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
“World Economy in Death Spiral”
In cold and slanting February light
A poor tenacious leaf gives up at last
And spirals down in the northering wind
Around and down onto the sorrowing earth
Where backyard cats in their thick winter coats
Fence-sit and catch a few dignified rays
While Astrid-the-Dachshund in circles yaps
In ground-bound outrage
In cold and slanting February light
The world still spirals as it always has
Unconnected Mutterings in Search of a Thesis - op-ed maybe
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
Unconnected Mutterings in Search of a Thesis
Meryl Streep, who has won three Academy Awards ™, complains that that the Academy Awards™ are unfairly dominated by white males. Apparently not winning four Academy Awards™ makes her a victim.
+++
The New York Post says that hundreds of army dogs who served in combat were dumped when they were no longer useful. Well, that’s pretty much what the federal government does with human veterans.
+++
Whole Foods (are there Incomplete Foods?) is / are rumored to be considering adding tattoo parlors to help make buying cereal for the kids a more Bucket ‘O’ Blood Saloon experience. Where would a grocery store site the disfigurement kiosk? Next to the vegetables?
+++
The arcana of caucuses / cauci, delegates, pledged delegates, superdelegates, hissy-fits falsely labelled as debates, electors, and the electoral college suggests that maybe our democracy is no more evolved than a riot among paleolithic cave clans. Or English soccer fans.
+++
We read on the little plastic box that lights up and makes noises that the late Justice Antonin Scalia was pronounced deceased via the telephone. Over the telephone? Really? Over the telephone? One hopes this report is an error.
Determination of death by telephone – so there’s an ap for that?
Given that the passing of a supreme court justice was verified and adjudicated so casually, one can only wonder how lesser folk in Presidio County are disposed of at the end of their earthly pilgrimage.
Reverend Mike Alcuino of the parish church Santa Teresa de Jesus administered the last rites to Judge Scalia. Not over the telephone.
+++
What’s with all the geriatric candidates at the top of the trash heap this election cycle? All those old people kvetching at each other sound as if they should be down at the local Denny’s complaining about everything over their senior specials. Just like me.
+++
Finally, in a month of continued wars, hunger, violence, economic collapse, refugee disasters, and the existential agony of Kanye and Taylor, this cri de coeur must be heard as a cri-without-borders cri for the cri-less: what cruel, villainous wretch thought up the spelling for “February?”
-30-
Sunday, February 7, 2016
I and II Casseroles - poem
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
I and II Casseroles
Mrs. Cohen and Mrs. Ionas
Slipped quietly out of the women’s side
Of the old Corinthian synagogue
To set out casseroles and pita bread
And left Saint Paul speaking mostly to men
And to those silly young women who might
Have lifted a finger to help, but no
I just don’t know what’s wrong with girls these days
But then - that’s what my mother said about me
It’ll be okay. And do we have enough cups?
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