Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
Chakras in the Underground
About that restroom edict – why are people constantly surprised at having the government for which they voted?
+ + +
The democratically-elected leaders of this nation are obsessed with telling other nations what to do and how to live, but, unsurprisingly, can’t even run a short railroad.
The D.C. subway is reported to be a mess, with poor design, inadequate maintenance, fatal fires and smoke, breakdowns, delays, and questionable accounting practices. When a subway train breaks down – or begins burning – you’re trapped in a tunnel and can’t get out and walk away.
Subways are illogical. Humans are by nature surface-dwellers, not burrowers. Given that D.C. reposes uneasily upon a swamp, tunnels there are not a good idea. And even in stable rock, packing humans, machinery, fuel, and electricity into a sealed environment is a patently unsafe practice.
But perhaps the maintenance funding was routed via Iraq, Afghanistan, and the China Seas.
+ + +
The most realistic greeting card slogan for graduation might be: Congratulations! Now you’re just another unemployed American.”
+ + +
Bernie Sanders has the endorsement of the witch community in Oregon:
…she prepared to lead them in the “amplification of positive energy of Bernie Sanders and the progressive movement.”
They gathered around a small rug with four candles, flowers and an imitation ballot box adorned with Bernie stickers. Each person was handed a replica ballot and took turns declaring what they would like to see changed…
Then they circled the candles together, chanting “be the Bern, be the Bern, be the Bern…”
When they were finished, they passed around cherries and ginger lemonade. (http://www.latimes.com/politics/la-na-sanders-prayer-circle-20160514-snap-story.html)
At the once-Catholic University of Notre Dame this event might be confused with Sunday morning Mass.
+ + +
A current shopping-mall theology advises us that we are composed of chakras and must spend time and money balancing them. Well, hey, we mustn’t go around with unbalanced chakras.
Do you get the idea that valley-speakers who are obsessed with their chakras and reikis and gluten-free auras are the sort of people who take selfies?
+ + +
The chakras seem to have been unbalanced at a political convention in Nevada last Saturday. Things got so rough that delegate Aunt Pittypat pleaded for her smelling salts, a cup of organic rose-hip tea, Yoo-Toob time, and a lawyer.
Purse-swinging was averted only by some bored-looking deputies standing in front of the dais and asking the attendees to leave. They said “please.” And the attendees, raising their me-phones in a princess-power salute, left.
Still, that the long-obedient proletariat finally refused to be good comrades and obey the program imposed by The Party gives one hope for democracy.
-30-
Monday, May 16, 2016
The Eternal Complaint of the Elderly - poem
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.
The Eternal Complaint of the Elderly
Old men don’t seem to recognize the world
Its shifting cultural expectations,
Unstable tectonics in music and art
The vaporous now in the confident young
Confusion and speed, meanings without words
Words without meanings, opaque cues and codes
Mutual unintended inattention
And the sense of being invisible
Old man, the world doesn’t even see you -
And it’s all probably better that way
Mhall46184@aol.
The Eternal Complaint of the Elderly
Old men don’t seem to recognize the world
Its shifting cultural expectations,
Unstable tectonics in music and art
The vaporous now in the confident young
Confusion and speed, meanings without words
Words without meanings, opaque cues and codes
Mutual unintended inattention
And the sense of being invisible
Old man, the world doesn’t even see you -
And it’s all probably better that way
Saturday, May 14, 2016
Goodcomradechant and Goodcomradewear - two poems
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Goodcomradechant
“Hey, Hey! Ho, Ho!
(Insert this week’s Orwellian Goldstein figure without any regard for meter)
Has got to go!”
Goodcomradewear
Good comrades uniformed in baggy knee-pants
And hoodies adorned with bloody old Che
Designer haircuts to enhance the chance
Of viraling on the gossipnet today
Mhall46184@aol.com
Goodcomradechant
“Hey, Hey! Ho, Ho!
(Insert this week’s Orwellian Goldstein figure without any regard for meter)
Has got to go!”
Goodcomradewear
Good comrades uniformed in baggy knee-pants
And hoodies adorned with bloody old Che
Designer haircuts to enhance the chance
Of viraling on the gossipnet today
Because the Dragon Never Forgets - poem
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Because the Dragon Never Forgets
St. George, who fights our daily dragons for us
With golden prayers, and silver sword aloft -
Shall we neglect him on his festal day
Dismissing him as a Perseus myth?
Oh, no – for any man is more a myth
Than any saint, whose glory is in God
And not in his calendar reputation
Or in the vaporous memories of men
Even unremembered, he is our shield -
St. George, who fights our daily dragons for us
Mhall46184@aol.com
Because the Dragon Never Forgets
St. George, who fights our daily dragons for us
With golden prayers, and silver sword aloft -
Shall we neglect him on his festal day
Dismissing him as a Perseus myth?
Oh, no – for any man is more a myth
Than any saint, whose glory is in God
And not in his calendar reputation
Or in the vaporous memories of men
Even unremembered, he is our shield -
St. George, who fights our daily dragons for us
The DNA of Creation - a Variant - poem
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
The DNA of Creation – a Variant
Creation’s DNA appears to us
As blood and water flowing from a wound
Down, down into the dust all serpentine
Where sins lie hidden, rotting in the dark
Creation’s DNA appears to us
As wine and water mingled in a cup
Seldom spilling onto the carpeting
In an air-conditioned sanctuary
But nevertheless real for all of that:
Creation’s DNA is given to us
Mhall46184@aol.com
The DNA of Creation – a Variant
Creation’s DNA appears to us
As blood and water flowing from a wound
Down, down into the dust all serpentine
Where sins lie hidden, rotting in the dark
Creation’s DNA appears to us
As wine and water mingled in a cup
Seldom spilling onto the carpeting
In an air-conditioned sanctuary
But nevertheless real for all of that:
Creation’s DNA is given to us
The DNA of Creation - poem
Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com
The DNA of Creation
The DNA of Creation appears
As blood and water flowing from a wound,
Flowing down flesh and wood, into the ground
Blood-sodden through repeated sacrifice
Scapehumans executed by the state
Some for murder, some for thinking bad thoughts
Others for love, for living happily
For helping tend and guard the Garden of life
But this one is far different, for in Him
The DNA of Creation appears
Thursday, May 12, 2016
Oh, the Places You Won't Go! - column
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
Oh, the Places You Won’t Go!
A wrecker driver is reported – it was on the InterGossip, so it must be true, right? - to have abandoned a woman whose car was broken down. The reason given was that he didn’t approve of the political bumper sticker on the car.
He also credited a higher power for his decision: "Something came over me, I think the Lord came to me, and he just said get in the truck and leave” (http://abc11.com/news/tow-truck-driver-refuses-to-tow-bernie-sanders-supporter/1324539/).
But let’s be fair – the cad didn’t say which lord.
You know, not even John Wayne was John Wayne – as a perfectly healthy young man he somehow managed to dodge his military obligation, just like Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders, and never served in other ways, such as a volunteer firefighter, auxiliary police officer, or in some other civil defense capacity. Even so, a man is obligated, in spite of all ideologies and fashions and bumper stickers, to be protective of women and children. If the story is true, the wrecker driver left a woman alone in a disabled car on a rural highway.
That man’s momma needs to have a talk with him. He should listen to her - and to a different Lord.
+ + +
Every election cycle famous people threaten to deprive the Republic of their special wonderfulness and go to Canada if Candidate X is elected. Alas that they never go.
But then there is this: has Canada invited them? Threatening to emigrate to another nation as an expression of hissy-fit-ness is like a child threatening to go live with the neighbors if he doesn’t get a Wham-O Nuclear Missile Playset for Christmas.
Canada, unlike some nations, has border controls. If Canada doesn’t want you, you don’t go there. When you approach the border a nice man or woman chit-chats with you while scanning your passport, and if the computer reports any crimes, including even a DWI from forty years ago (http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/information/inadmissibility/conviction.asp), the border services will nicely advise you that you are permitted to view Niagara Falls from the American side.
Our border agency, sadly, allowed Canadian Justin Bieber in. Well, maybe J.B. doesn’t like the new prime minister. Or he could be a refugee.
+ + +
Imagine how much happier the world would be if there were no graduation speakers other than the valedictorian and salutatorian. And they would be denied their diplomas if they talked for more than five minutes.
During graduation speeches all guests should be given a pencil and a checklist of clichés, maybe as a Bingo card:
“Education is the key that unlocks…”
“We are the future.”
“My Webster’s defines ‘commencement’ as…”
“This is not the end; this is the beginning.”
“Follow your dreams.”
“Follow your passion.”
“Make a difference.”
“As we stand on the threshold of…”
“As we go forth…”
“The torch has been passed…”
“If you can imagine it, you can achieve it…”
“Education is not a destination but a journey.”
“We’ve been through some amazing times together.”
Whoever checks off the most cliches’ wins a copy of Oh, the Places You’ll Go!
-30-
Mhall46184@aol.com
Oh, the Places You Won’t Go!
A wrecker driver is reported – it was on the InterGossip, so it must be true, right? - to have abandoned a woman whose car was broken down. The reason given was that he didn’t approve of the political bumper sticker on the car.
He also credited a higher power for his decision: "Something came over me, I think the Lord came to me, and he just said get in the truck and leave” (http://abc11.com/news/tow-truck-driver-refuses-to-tow-bernie-sanders-supporter/1324539/).
But let’s be fair – the cad didn’t say which lord.
You know, not even John Wayne was John Wayne – as a perfectly healthy young man he somehow managed to dodge his military obligation, just like Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders, and never served in other ways, such as a volunteer firefighter, auxiliary police officer, or in some other civil defense capacity. Even so, a man is obligated, in spite of all ideologies and fashions and bumper stickers, to be protective of women and children. If the story is true, the wrecker driver left a woman alone in a disabled car on a rural highway.
That man’s momma needs to have a talk with him. He should listen to her - and to a different Lord.
+ + +
Every election cycle famous people threaten to deprive the Republic of their special wonderfulness and go to Canada if Candidate X is elected. Alas that they never go.
But then there is this: has Canada invited them? Threatening to emigrate to another nation as an expression of hissy-fit-ness is like a child threatening to go live with the neighbors if he doesn’t get a Wham-O Nuclear Missile Playset for Christmas.
Canada, unlike some nations, has border controls. If Canada doesn’t want you, you don’t go there. When you approach the border a nice man or woman chit-chats with you while scanning your passport, and if the computer reports any crimes, including even a DWI from forty years ago (http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/information/inadmissibility/conviction.asp), the border services will nicely advise you that you are permitted to view Niagara Falls from the American side.
Our border agency, sadly, allowed Canadian Justin Bieber in. Well, maybe J.B. doesn’t like the new prime minister. Or he could be a refugee.
+ + +
Imagine how much happier the world would be if there were no graduation speakers other than the valedictorian and salutatorian. And they would be denied their diplomas if they talked for more than five minutes.
During graduation speeches all guests should be given a pencil and a checklist of clichés, maybe as a Bingo card:
“Education is the key that unlocks…”
“We are the future.”
“My Webster’s defines ‘commencement’ as…”
“This is not the end; this is the beginning.”
“Follow your dreams.”
“Follow your passion.”
“Make a difference.”
“As we stand on the threshold of…”
“As we go forth…”
“The torch has been passed…”
“If you can imagine it, you can achieve it…”
“Education is not a destination but a journey.”
“We’ve been through some amazing times together.”
Whoever checks off the most cliches’ wins a copy of Oh, the Places You’ll Go!
-30-
Monday, May 2, 2016
Harriet, Meet Andy; Andy, Meet Harriet - column
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aoll.com
Harriet, Meet Andy; Andy, Meet Harriet
This nation will again feature a woman on its currency, a woman who, as many have observed, was a gun-owning Republican. Harriet Tubman was a Deborah, a Joan of Arc, leading her people – and, by extension, all people - to freedom, and eminently worthy of national honor.
However, given the popular cultures most people choose to follow, one wonders if this week there will be an intergossip meme demanding that Prince replace Harriet Tubman on the twenty-dollar-bill even before she is pictured there. Last month the demand might have been for David Bowie, and before him Michael Jackson, and before him Elvis Presley.
The popularity of the eponymous Broadway musical is said to have saved Hamilton’s wiggie image on the ten, reflecting the democracy of the box office cash flow. What could be more American? So, hey, The Khardassians on the fiver, anyone? Hanna Montana twerkin’ to the Disney oldies?
Old Hickory had a long run on the twenty, though my First Nations cousins have never had any more reason to honor him than they do George Custer. A century hence a fashionable crowd will chant that Harriet Tubman was not open to multi-sex restrooms, or perhaps was too human species-ist, and she will be replaced by someone else, or maybe by a porpoise.
Civilization seems to be pretty much an Oxymandias thing – we build up nations and set up statues to ourselves and our values, and within a century our constructs are as irrelevant as a statue of Cecil Rhodes in a city park in Harare. Jackson Square in New Orleans may within a decade be renamed Place de la Good Comrades, and the gilded equestrienne statue of St. Joan of Arc by the Mississippi River might be pulled down in favor of automated figures of Michael Strahan and Kelly Ripa giving each other dirty looks. Fame and reputation are as fleeting as smoke from the riverboats.
Many nations place their current leaders on their money. North Korean banknotes have a picture of Little Tubby and a tiny sound machine that sings “Ding, Dong, the East is Red,” while Russia’s have a picture of Vladimir Putin, shirtless, wrestling a polar bear.
No, not really.
The Canadian dollar coin features a portrait of the Queen on one side and a loon – meaning the waterfowl, not the previous premier of Newfoundland – on the other, which seems suspiciously levelling.
Canadian banknotes again offer the Queen on the front but on the back a series of stern Canadian statesmen, most of whom seem to look like Benjamin Disraeli on a bad starched-collar day. If Canada ever becomes a republic they could replace the Queen on their currency with a populist Air Canada cabin attendant democratically snarling “No, we don’t have any coffee! We ran out back at Row 30! Eh!”
One does not imagine George Washington being replaced on our dollar with a FEMA functionary, or maybe one of those octopus-tentacled guys who fondles you at the airport. We continue to be honored by heroes on our currency. Harriet Tubman wanted freedom for all, not campus safe spaces, and took a pistol with her on her raids to free the oppressed. She would not have wept and wrung her hands upon seeing “Trump 2016” chalked on a sidewalk, nor would she have seen a therapist about any feelings of inadequacy.
I don’t know that she or Andy Jackson ever played the guitar, though.
-30-
“Gentlemen! You Can’t Fight in Here – This is the Institute of Peace!” - Column
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
“Gentlemen! You Can’t Fight in Here – This is the Institute of Peace!”
Daniel Berrigan has died, which will mean little to most people under fifty, who never heard of him and so didn’t know he was alive. Fr. Berrigan was a fashionable 1960s the-church-of-what’s-happen’-now priest who became famous for being against things. And in many of those things, including conscription and the undeclared war in Viet-Nam, he was right. Conscription is antithetical to the concept of a free nation, and Section 8 of Article 1 of the Constitution clearly states that only Congress is empowered to declare war. So is it fair, then, to wonder at Fr. Berrigan’s motives?
St. Thomas More wisely reminds us that we do not have a window to look into another man’s soul. Even so, Fr. Berrigan often seemed to be more anti-American than pro-justice, and appears to have ignored the deaths and sufferings of his fellow human beings under the various Communist regimes. Thousands of priests and millions of lay Christians died before Communist firing squads, on Communist scaffolds, and in Communist death camps, and one wonders if Father Berrigan, busy with his teach-ins and protests and all the other look-at-me-nesses of the 1960s, sympathized or was even aware.
+ + +
Folks living in rural Newfoundland had better read about Father Berrigan while they can. The provincial government is closing 54 of 95 public libraries in that island, and adding another 10% provincial tax on books. Books are already taxed at 5% by the federal government, so now15% of the price of a book will be in taxes. This is part of a scheme called The Harmonized Sales Tax. It doesn’t seem especially harmonious.
The closing of libraries and setting a punitive tax on books are in a province where approximately 30% of the residents never finished high school. It almost seems that the government of Newfoundland does not want literacy among its subjects, um, citizens. If people start reading and writing, they might start thinking for themselves.
Beyond that, rural libraries also serve as community centers where local meetings can be held, information exchanged, and notices posted. With the closing of 54 libraries, 54 communities, who have already lost their schools and their post offices, will continue to erode, losing their histories and cultures, and becoming little more than road signs.
One commentator defending the library closings said that people could just as easily access books via the intergossip.
That’s true for only a few. Newfoundland has never been a land of milk and honey, except for the factors who controlled the fishing industry and more recently the oil. The province is one of the poorest in Canada, and the internet is both slow and expensive. Many people make a visit to the library a part of their infrequent shopping trips to town so they access to the wifi as well as books. Now the unemployed, who cannot afford the ‘net, will lose two significant contacts with the outside world.
+ + +
Without access to the intergossip, how can people in Newfoundland learn that Warren Buffet, an 85-year-old America gazillionaire, credits his long life to drinking five cans of Coca-Cola every day and eating a diet rich in fudge and peanut brittle?
+ + +
A certain famous retail chain is said to be considering using robot employees. Perhaps the idea is that the robots will be able to hide from customers even more efficiently than its human employees do.
+ + +
The Reverend Al Sharpton avers that elements of the recent White House Journalists’ Dinner were in “poor taste.” And you know, who is more authoritative in matters of taste?
+ + +
After the correspondents’ dinner a couple of correspondents got into a fight at an MSNBC party at the U.S. Institute of peace. A fight. At the U. S. Institute of Peace.
Oh, Stanley Kubrick, thou should’st be living at this hour!
-30-
Saturday, April 23, 2016
Carnivores and Casualty Lists - column
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
Carnivores and Casualty Lists
At a Florida zoo there was until last week a charming young zookeeper who billed herself as “The Tiger Whisperer.” She cared for the zoo’s tigers and gave presentations about them. Sometimes she painted her face like a tiger.
So cute.
So adorable.
So dead.
The charming young zookeeper forgot the prime directive – no matter how many Disney cartoons you’ve seen, to a carnivore you are nothing more than lunch.
+ + +
Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders used campaign contributions to charter a big ol’ jet plane for himself and his family to fly to Rome where he gave a ten-minute presentation on socialism. He may or may not have met the Pope. Then he and his family flew back.
Could you and I score a deal like that? We could fly in a chartered jet to conferences all over the world to talk about poverty (“Another glass of champagne over here, please…) and global warming (“Keep the engines running; we won’t be in Rome overnight.”).
+ + +
According to BuzzFeed (whatever that is), Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton’s speaking fees top $200,000.
$200,000 for a speech. Do you think someone might want a return on that someday?
Several years ago I gave a speech to the local volunteer fire department. They gave me supper, which was far more than I deserved. To you and me, dear reader, firefighters are heroes; to presidential candidates they are only a category of potential voters.
+ + +
But let’s be fair: Donald Trump still wears something funny on top of his head and Ted Cruz is still channeling Pee Wee Herman.
+ + +
The death total so far at a music festival in Argentina is up to five. Should music festivals feature casualty lists?
+ + +
A friend in Louisiana was displaced by the flooding and was given refuge in a location where he had no access to the intergossip. I wrote him a letter. A real letter, with heading, inside address, salutation, body, complimentary close, and signature. Then I had to find a proper envelope and a postage stamp. The experience felt so Little House on the Prairie.
How sad that there are now no letters and, really, no photographs. When today’s twenty-somethings are old they will not be able to joy in rediscovering shoeboxes of forgotten letters and pictures – and, thus, joy in rediscovering their youth - for everything is but electrical ephemera on the intergossip, deleted when the machine’s little brain is full, or lost when the gadget is stolen or traded.
-30-
Mhall46184@aol.com
Carnivores and Casualty Lists
At a Florida zoo there was until last week a charming young zookeeper who billed herself as “The Tiger Whisperer.” She cared for the zoo’s tigers and gave presentations about them. Sometimes she painted her face like a tiger.
So cute.
So adorable.
So dead.
The charming young zookeeper forgot the prime directive – no matter how many Disney cartoons you’ve seen, to a carnivore you are nothing more than lunch.
+ + +
Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders used campaign contributions to charter a big ol’ jet plane for himself and his family to fly to Rome where he gave a ten-minute presentation on socialism. He may or may not have met the Pope. Then he and his family flew back.
Could you and I score a deal like that? We could fly in a chartered jet to conferences all over the world to talk about poverty (“Another glass of champagne over here, please…) and global warming (“Keep the engines running; we won’t be in Rome overnight.”).
+ + +
According to BuzzFeed (whatever that is), Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton’s speaking fees top $200,000.
$200,000 for a speech. Do you think someone might want a return on that someday?
Several years ago I gave a speech to the local volunteer fire department. They gave me supper, which was far more than I deserved. To you and me, dear reader, firefighters are heroes; to presidential candidates they are only a category of potential voters.
+ + +
But let’s be fair: Donald Trump still wears something funny on top of his head and Ted Cruz is still channeling Pee Wee Herman.
+ + +
The death total so far at a music festival in Argentina is up to five. Should music festivals feature casualty lists?
+ + +
A friend in Louisiana was displaced by the flooding and was given refuge in a location where he had no access to the intergossip. I wrote him a letter. A real letter, with heading, inside address, salutation, body, complimentary close, and signature. Then I had to find a proper envelope and a postage stamp. The experience felt so Little House on the Prairie.
How sad that there are now no letters and, really, no photographs. When today’s twenty-somethings are old they will not be able to joy in rediscovering shoeboxes of forgotten letters and pictures – and, thus, joy in rediscovering their youth - for everything is but electrical ephemera on the intergossip, deleted when the machine’s little brain is full, or lost when the gadget is stolen or traded.
-30-
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
Hate-Chalk - weekly column
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
Hate-Chalk
Georgia’s Emory University, 180 years old, is one of the world’s great schools. Art, music, languages, literatures, science, medicine, public service – Emory is justly proud of its graduates’ accomplishments in every area of intellectual and artistic endeavor.
Unfortunately, a political slogan recently written in chalk on the sidewalks at Emory have provided a thin excuse for the usual suspects to claim the usual Aunt Pittypat vapors and demand investigations, safe spaces, and all the other victimist impedimenta of the self-indulgent.
The blood-curdling message was “Trump 2016” chalked here and there, triumphalist Trumpist trumpetings which to some forty students constituted a hate crime just like, y’know, not enough Che Guevara pizza days, and shooting Bambi’s mother, and, like, y’know, stuff. The Society for the Perpetually Offended protested to the president, James W. Wagner, who cravenly submitted to their demands and promised criminal investigations and prosecutions.
One wonders if complaints about scrawls of “Feel the Bern 2016” would have resulted in sending in the sensitivity police to arrest people.
Does anyone really want to feel the Bern? Sounds a little felony-assault creepy.
The entire student body of Emory, and by extension all university students, have been scorned on glowing electronic screens (hardly the press anymore) all over the world for their hypersensitivity and their anti-freedom demands.
And yet, as a real Emory student noted, the would-be censors of freedom constitute only about .05 % of Emory students.
As Conor Friedersdorf, no Trump fan, notes in his excellent article “How Emory’s Student Activists Are Fueling Trumpism” (http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/03/a-letter-to-emory-please-stop-fueling-trumpism/475356/), there is no evidence that more than one Emory student chalked Trumpetry. Further, chalked sidewalk messages are a tradition at Emory as they are on many campuses. If this chalked message is suppressed and its writer punished for free speech, then it follows that all subsequent chalked messages would be monitored through direct observation and security cameras by the Emory administration and by the campus and local police.
Now that would be insensitive.
According to Mr. Friedersdorf, the reaction (no irony intended) of the Emory student body was to criticize and mock the protestors for their demand that free speech be restrained.
Ironically, those students supporting free speech feel compelled to do so through anonymous websites. One infers that the majority of Emory students, who are in favor of freedom of speech even for candidates and causes they dislike, must argue in favor of free speech anonymously for fear of retribution from other students and perhaps elements in the administration.
Chalk is a last medium for free expression since all email, both in universities and in what we may with a wry smile refer to as the real world, is monitored. A very small number of future Stasi or OGPU functionaries at Emory now want the chalk and the sidewalks observed by police and spy cameras.
Suppression of discourse has obtained for the last half-century in universities in Cuba and North Korea, and occasional government-approved entertainments featuring geriatric three-chord commandos cannot obscure this unhappy reality. At Emory University, the happy reality is that only .05% of students disapprove of the free exchange of ideas.
The focus in this matter should be living the First Amendment, and not stereotyping Emory students or any other group.
After all, not every adult in Connecticut beats up little children for Easter eggs:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3511343/Marauding-parents-Easter-Egg-hunt-rampage-control-adults-push-children-ground-steal-buckets-leave-one-four-year-old-bloody-chaotic-free-event.html
-30-
Mhall46184@aol.com
Hate-Chalk
Georgia’s Emory University, 180 years old, is one of the world’s great schools. Art, music, languages, literatures, science, medicine, public service – Emory is justly proud of its graduates’ accomplishments in every area of intellectual and artistic endeavor.
Unfortunately, a political slogan recently written in chalk on the sidewalks at Emory have provided a thin excuse for the usual suspects to claim the usual Aunt Pittypat vapors and demand investigations, safe spaces, and all the other victimist impedimenta of the self-indulgent.
The blood-curdling message was “Trump 2016” chalked here and there, triumphalist Trumpist trumpetings which to some forty students constituted a hate crime just like, y’know, not enough Che Guevara pizza days, and shooting Bambi’s mother, and, like, y’know, stuff. The Society for the Perpetually Offended protested to the president, James W. Wagner, who cravenly submitted to their demands and promised criminal investigations and prosecutions.
One wonders if complaints about scrawls of “Feel the Bern 2016” would have resulted in sending in the sensitivity police to arrest people.
Does anyone really want to feel the Bern? Sounds a little felony-assault creepy.
The entire student body of Emory, and by extension all university students, have been scorned on glowing electronic screens (hardly the press anymore) all over the world for their hypersensitivity and their anti-freedom demands.
And yet, as a real Emory student noted, the would-be censors of freedom constitute only about .05 % of Emory students.
As Conor Friedersdorf, no Trump fan, notes in his excellent article “How Emory’s Student Activists Are Fueling Trumpism” (http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/03/a-letter-to-emory-please-stop-fueling-trumpism/475356/), there is no evidence that more than one Emory student chalked Trumpetry. Further, chalked sidewalk messages are a tradition at Emory as they are on many campuses. If this chalked message is suppressed and its writer punished for free speech, then it follows that all subsequent chalked messages would be monitored through direct observation and security cameras by the Emory administration and by the campus and local police.
Now that would be insensitive.
According to Mr. Friedersdorf, the reaction (no irony intended) of the Emory student body was to criticize and mock the protestors for their demand that free speech be restrained.
Ironically, those students supporting free speech feel compelled to do so through anonymous websites. One infers that the majority of Emory students, who are in favor of freedom of speech even for candidates and causes they dislike, must argue in favor of free speech anonymously for fear of retribution from other students and perhaps elements in the administration.
Chalk is a last medium for free expression since all email, both in universities and in what we may with a wry smile refer to as the real world, is monitored. A very small number of future Stasi or OGPU functionaries at Emory now want the chalk and the sidewalks observed by police and spy cameras.
Suppression of discourse has obtained for the last half-century in universities in Cuba and North Korea, and occasional government-approved entertainments featuring geriatric three-chord commandos cannot obscure this unhappy reality. At Emory University, the happy reality is that only .05% of students disapprove of the free exchange of ideas.
The focus in this matter should be living the First Amendment, and not stereotyping Emory students or any other group.
After all, not every adult in Connecticut beats up little children for Easter eggs:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3511343/Marauding-parents-Easter-Egg-hunt-rampage-control-adults-push-children-ground-steal-buckets-leave-one-four-year-old-bloody-chaotic-free-event.html
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Much Assembly Required - weekly column
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
Much Assembly Required
A member of the household purchased a leaf rake last week, which is a harmless enough object that doesn’t require registration or surrendering one’s credit card for a monthly fee. The label says “MADE IN USA,” and it must be true because manufacturers and distributors never tell lies. The handle is molded of that cream-colored goop that quickly warps into dysfunction.
The business end of the rake is plastic, which is good because when the old metal tines resigned from the business of raking leaves they were dragged out of retirement by the lawn mower and recycled as projectiles.
However, this purportedly made in the USA product was not finished. On the socket a sticker pointed to a hole in the socket and said “Install screw in handle socket hole.” The screw for the purpose was provided, but, really, isn’t the point of a manufactured product that it is manufactured?
Was there no one in the MADE IN USA factory who could drill a MADE IN USA hole and fit the MADE IN USA screw into MADE IN USA place?
One imagines buying a new car with a sticker on it that says “Install tires at the ends of the axles,” or a book with “Glue the pages together yourself.” Maybe grocery stores will offer to sell the customer a quart of milk as a cow and a bucket.
Anyone who has bought a vacuum cleaner well understands that the thesis is Much Assembly Required. To open the box containing THE AMAZING REVOLUTIONARY YOUR LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME EL DORADO AMERICAN-DESIGNED CIMMARON FABRIQUE EN CHINE ROCKY MOUNTAIN HOMBRE DUST DEVOURER DACHSHUND CHASING L’TORNADO MONSTER XTREEM is to be presented with a garage-sale clutter of plastic odds and ends, envelopes containing various sizes of screws, bolts, nuts, washers, and curious metal thingies, a booklet of instructions in seven languages, and enough packaging filler to exhaust the week’s garbage quota.
Some stores offer to assemble the product for you, but for an extra fee. “Yes, sir, eggs, sausage, toast, and coffee. Now cooking, plates, and flatware will be extra. And for a quarter you can have a napkin.”
For Christmas the spouse-person gave me a new fountain pen with the name of a fine old American company on it. How sad that this was only a Chinese-made pen with the old name on it, of poor quality, and without an ink reservoir. Shabby. I suppose I shouldn’t mention the brand name, only that I was Cross about it.
In a sense we humans assemble ourselves all our lives through the adventures we choose for ourselves and sometimes by those adventures given to us, whether or not we want them. We may choose to practice archery or welding or hiking or plumbing, but then find that we must also practice ill health or unemployment or loss or suffering. As our parents taught us, we sometimes aren’t given choices in life, but we can always choose how we respond to those challenges. We needn’t make shabby choices.
One does regret, however, responding to the challenge of assembling that vacuum cleaner with some shabby choices of language.
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Mhall46184@aol.com
Much Assembly Required
A member of the household purchased a leaf rake last week, which is a harmless enough object that doesn’t require registration or surrendering one’s credit card for a monthly fee. The label says “MADE IN USA,” and it must be true because manufacturers and distributors never tell lies. The handle is molded of that cream-colored goop that quickly warps into dysfunction.
The business end of the rake is plastic, which is good because when the old metal tines resigned from the business of raking leaves they were dragged out of retirement by the lawn mower and recycled as projectiles.
However, this purportedly made in the USA product was not finished. On the socket a sticker pointed to a hole in the socket and said “Install screw in handle socket hole.” The screw for the purpose was provided, but, really, isn’t the point of a manufactured product that it is manufactured?
Was there no one in the MADE IN USA factory who could drill a MADE IN USA hole and fit the MADE IN USA screw into MADE IN USA place?
One imagines buying a new car with a sticker on it that says “Install tires at the ends of the axles,” or a book with “Glue the pages together yourself.” Maybe grocery stores will offer to sell the customer a quart of milk as a cow and a bucket.
Anyone who has bought a vacuum cleaner well understands that the thesis is Much Assembly Required. To open the box containing THE AMAZING REVOLUTIONARY YOUR LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME EL DORADO AMERICAN-DESIGNED CIMMARON FABRIQUE EN CHINE ROCKY MOUNTAIN HOMBRE DUST DEVOURER DACHSHUND CHASING L’TORNADO MONSTER XTREEM is to be presented with a garage-sale clutter of plastic odds and ends, envelopes containing various sizes of screws, bolts, nuts, washers, and curious metal thingies, a booklet of instructions in seven languages, and enough packaging filler to exhaust the week’s garbage quota.
Some stores offer to assemble the product for you, but for an extra fee. “Yes, sir, eggs, sausage, toast, and coffee. Now cooking, plates, and flatware will be extra. And for a quarter you can have a napkin.”
For Christmas the spouse-person gave me a new fountain pen with the name of a fine old American company on it. How sad that this was only a Chinese-made pen with the old name on it, of poor quality, and without an ink reservoir. Shabby. I suppose I shouldn’t mention the brand name, only that I was Cross about it.
In a sense we humans assemble ourselves all our lives through the adventures we choose for ourselves and sometimes by those adventures given to us, whether or not we want them. We may choose to practice archery or welding or hiking or plumbing, but then find that we must also practice ill health or unemployment or loss or suffering. As our parents taught us, we sometimes aren’t given choices in life, but we can always choose how we respond to those challenges. We needn’t make shabby choices.
One does regret, however, responding to the challenge of assembling that vacuum cleaner with some shabby choices of language.
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Friday, April 8, 2016
Christos Voskrese! (Second Attempt)

(For Tod)
The world is unusually quiet this dawn
With fading stars withdrawing in good grace
And drowsy, dreaming sunflowers, dewy-drooped,
Their golden crowns all motionless and still,
Stand patiently in their ordered garden rows,
Almost as if they wait for lazy bees
To wake and work, and so begin the day.
A solitary swallow sweeps the sky;
An early finch proclaims his leafy seat
While Old Kashtanka limps around the yard
Snuffling the boundaries on her morning patrol.
Then wide-yawning Mikhail, happily barefoot,
A lump of bread for nibbling in one hand,
A birch switch swishing menace in the other
Appears, and whistles up his father’s cows:
“Hey! Alina, and Antonina! Up!
Up, up, Diana and Dominika!
You, too, Varvara and Valentina!
Pashka is here, and dawn, and spring, and life!”
And they are not reluctant then to rise
From sweet and grassy beds, with udders full,
Cow-gossip-lowing to the dairy barn.
Anastasia lights the ikon lamp
And crosses herself as her mother taught.
She’ll brew the tea, the strong black wake-up tea,
And think about that naughty, handsome Yuri
Who winked at her during the Liturgy
On the holiest midnight of the year.
O pray that watchful Father did not see!
Breakfast will be merry, an echo-feast
Of last night’s eggs, pysanky, sausage, kulich.
And Mother will pack Babushka’s basket,
Because only a mother can do that right
When Father Vasily arrived last night
In a limping Lada haloed in smoke,
The men put out their cigarettes and helped
With every precious vestment, cope, and chain,
For old Saint Basil’s has not its own priest,
Not since the Czar, and Seraphim-Diveyevo
From time to time, for weddings, holy days,
Funerals, supplies the needs of the parish,
Often with Father Vasily (whose mother
Begins most conversations with “My son,
The priest.…”), much to the amusement of all.
Voices fell, temperatures fell, darkness fell
And stars hovered low over the silent fields,
Dark larches, parking lots, and tractor sheds.
Inside the lightless church the priest began
The ancient prayers of desolate emptiness
To which the faithful whispered in reply,
Unworthy mourners at the Garden tomb,
Spiraling deeper and deeper in grief
Until that Word, by Saint Mary Magdalene
Revealed, with candles, hymns, and midnight bells
Spoke light and life to poor but hopeful souls.
The world is unusually quiet this dawn;
The sun is new-lamb warm upon creation,
For Pascha gently rests upon the earth,
This holy Russia, whose martyrs and saints
Enlighten the nations through their witness of faith,
Mercy, blessings, penance, and prayer eternal
Now rising with a resurrection hymn,
And even needful chores are liturgies:
“Christos Voskrese – Christ is risen indeed!”
And Old Kashtanka limps around the yard
Snuffling the boundaries on her morning patrol
Christos Voskrese! Republished from https://thefellowshipoftheking.net/2016/04/08/christos-voskrese/comment-page-1/#comment-1886
Fellowship of the King posted: " (For Tod) The world is unusually quiet this dawn With fading stars withdrawing in good grace And drowsy, dreaming sunflowers, dewy-drooped, Their golden crowns all motionless and still, Stand patiently in their ordered garden rows, Almost as if they wait"
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Sunday, April 3, 2016
School Bus Seatbelts - or Grave Markers? - weekly column
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@Aol.com
Seatbelts or Grave Markers
As we follow our own little trails through the woods of life we tend not to think about things we don’t think about, as Bertie Wooster might say.
One thing we were made to think about last week was the usefulness of seatbelts in school busses. We should indeed thank God that no young person was killed, and now we should thank God further by doing more ourselves to protect young people.
After the deaths of children in a school vehicle rollover near Beaumont ten years ago, I naively assumed that the “they” – which in truth is “we” – had done something about seatbelts. Beyond a bit of p.r. and some weak, vague, and unfunded suggestions by the State of Texas, well, no.
As Representative James White wisely says, "Here's the point, when it comes to the safety of our students…it’s not a state function or a local function. We need to prioritize and get it done."
And to paraphrase a popular slogan, when seconds count for your child’s safety, the State of Texas is years away.
School busses need seatbelts now because little humans traveling in those large tin cans need seatbelts if something goes wrong. We have heard all the excuses: “The kids won’t wear them,” “You can’t make them,” “They’ll just unbuckle them,” “It’s not cost-effective,” and on and on. None of those excuses is worth the life of a kid. Seatbelts need to be in place.
We are all caused out, and are quite properly suspicious of all the professional made-in-China ceramic ribbon appeals, all the raising-awareness puffery, and all the obviously errant nonsense, such as the idea that pouring a bucket of water over your head will cure a disease. Many of the scandals concerning the alligator-shoe boys and girls in charge of old and famous charities diverting great sums of donated funds to themselves appear to be real.
But here we have an immediate and local challenge which can be met by immediate and local solutions. Each year we all give to assist local school and out-of-school youth programs such as band, FFA, soccer, choir, baseball and softball leagues, and others. Let us add seatbelts to the mix. Seatbelts don’t make music, raise cows, kick field goals, sing prettily, or hit home runs, but they are nifty in their ability to save the lives of the children who do.
Let us look forward to seatbelt barbecues, seatbelt parking-lot sales, seatbelt dinners, seatbelt carwashes, seatbelt raffles, seatbelt bingo games, seatbelt bake sales, and seatbelt something-a-thons, all organized by local people whom we know and trust, not by out-of-town profit-professionals who take a cut.
Seatbelts, as unexciting as they are, are so much happier to think about than grave markers.
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Tuesday, March 29, 2016
An Unscheduled Existential Stop - poem
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
An Unscheduled Existential Stop
Worn-out old khakis, old shirt, and old shoes
Coffee maker singing its matins and lauds
Sunlight falling through the air like a yawn
A book left open from the night before
The cat posing prettily in the window
Pretending to be wholly unimpressed
By tasty hummingbirds beyond the glass
This Saturday of no expectations
When the best clothes for this holiday are
Worn-out old khakis, old shirt, and old shoes
Friday, March 25, 2016
The Mysterious Closed Maybe and Unclosed Maybe Interstate - a three-dot column
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
The Mysterious Closed Maybe and Unclosed Maybe Interstate
This was all on the ‘net, and so must be true:
In Glen Rose, Texas a young mother stuffed her two-year-old into an oven and began cooking the infant.
Well, hey, it’s all about family, right?
But then the evil State intruded, and trampled all over the mother’s parental rights by saving the baby’s life.
+++
The leader of the Cuban protest group Ladies in White, Berta Soler, was invited to meet with President Obama. She was arrested hours before his plane landed, and so won’t be available for a chat.
“We’re filling out the forms now. We haven’t decided if [she] suffered a heart attack or died while trying to escape.” – not exactly Casablanca
+++
At a campaign rally a famous radio guy called a small boy to him and told the audience that the boy had been fasting one day a week for a correct outcome to the election.
Really? Parents are allowing a child to fast? Give that kid a sandwich and then a bumper sticker for his tricycle.
Fasting is an optional religious discipline for healthy adults. A healthy adult’s duty is to see that his child takes good nutrition every day.
+++
The Washington Examiner reports that Google has been involved in trying to overthrow the government of Syria. William Randolph Hearst, thou should be living at this hour.
+++
China is buying American companies, one after another. Maybe including Google. Well, that’s all right, as a nation of inspirational singer-songwriter-webinators we don’t need jobs, right?
+++
There’s a fellow in New York who, for a thousand dollars, will raise you from the dead. And, yes, he is his own church, with a 501C and everything.
Okay, how do you arrange for your resurrection with this guy? Do you pay in advance, or do you make a really long, long distance call after you’ve gone to your temporary reward? Is there time to pop down to the nearest ATM?
+++
Much praise of and gratitude to local first responders, local churches, and local individuals who quietly gave much in time and money to help the flood victims. They didn’t ask for praise or gratitude, but then they are not into me, me, me-ness.
As for that multi-national that was given so much radio time – nah.
+++
And, finally, a local ghost story, or perhaps one of those Unsolved Mysteries moments: Is Interstate 10 at the Texas / Louisiana border open? Is it closed? Is one lane open? Are two lanes open? In which direction? Says who? By what authority? How can anyone know?
Maybe New York’s tax-exempt resurrection guy can tell us. For a thousand bucks. Around a crystal ball: “Late at night, when the moon is full, on lonely roads along the Sabine River you might see a ghostly white Texas Department of Transportation pickup truck being pursued by dim, flickering lights…”
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Not-So-Wildflowers - poem
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Not-So-Wildflowers
Wildflowers are not really wild, you know
They are not forward like catalogue blooms
Demanding the best seats in the garden
And the most delicate of drinks and soils
Wildflowers smile softly, sweetly at the sun
Shy fairy-folk of forest, field, and fen
Dancing through the warm mid-year months and then
Withdrawing quietly at summer’s end
Like children yawning, and wanting their beds -
Wildflowers are not really wild, you know
Monday, March 14, 2016
Should Chocolate Candy Boss You Around? - a frivolity
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
Should Chocolate Candy Boss You Around?
In life there are many occasions when individuals are subject to instruction: parents and teachers help guide children in their growing up, the State of Texas regulates traffic for the greater good (although one notes that the drivers of those big Texas Department of Transportation pickup trucks often seem to exhibit a cavalier attitude about speed, turn signals, and lane choices), and ministers lead the faithful in observance of religious teachings. The mature adult accepts all this.
Except TXDOT. What is it with them?
However, being lectured by a bit of foil-wrapped chocolate is too much.
For years now some living rooms have been decorated with directives instead of attractive pictures, nanny-ish signs reading “Love God and Do What Thou Wilt,” “Live, Love, and be Happy,” “Dance as if No One Were Watching,” and other Mary Poppins-esque precepts.
Now we’re being nagged by chocolates through theological and philosophical treatises printed inside the wrappers.
Here are some recent examples, with appropriate human responses:
V. Revive the art of conversation.
R. At a Donald Trump rally?
V. Give someone a compliment.
R. After verifying with an attorney that said compliment is not sexist, racist, LGBT-ist, or culturally insensitive.
V. Watch more cartoons.
R. Chuck Jones as John Keats?
V. Why not?
R. You first – why?
V. Treat Tuesday as Friday.
R. Participate in the Stations of the Cross, have a fishburger, and then attend a football game?
V. Keep them guessing.
R. Keep whom guessing? About what? Why?
V. Be more loquacious. Start with learning the word loquacious.
R. Just what we need, a smart-mouthed chocolate with a dictionary.
V. Kiss and tell.
R. No gentleman tells.
V. Solve arguments with a dance off.
R. Imagine Rommel and Montgomery doing the tango. In bikinis.
V. Stay up until the sunrise.
R. Folks on the night shift always stay up until the sunrise and later. What’s your point?
V. Lend an ear and a chocolate.
R. I come to bury Caesar, not to fatten him.
V. Get dressed up with no place to go.
R. You wear a cartoon tee to church. What do you call dressed up?
V. Choose less ordinary.
R. Given the loopiness of our times, the ordinary is probably a better choice.
V. Give them something to talk about.
R. Why? Adults choose their own topics of conversation. You’re not it.
So what are all these sugar-sodden orders-of-the-day about? Has Hershey re-defined itself as a church? Is Nestle channeling the Dalai Lama? Are the Dove people receiving telepathic commands from Obi Wan Kenobi? Will Cadbury’s do counseling, hypno-therapy, and weddings?
Many people complain that certain government agencies have become unconstitutionally authoritarian. Evidence suggests, however, that is seasonal candies who have gotten a bit too pushy. Maybe it’s time we put those pushy treats in their place: “Get ‘em out! Yeah, that Baby Ruth. And the Mars Bar. That’s right, get ‘em out! Gettttt ‘em out…!”
But all the humans should be nicer to each other. TXDOT, especially, needs a hug.
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Thursday, March 10, 2016
A Baton, but no Orchestra - poem
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
A Baton, but no Orchestra
Majestic in their yellow-painted shields
Imperious trumping traffic lights command
Through glares of green and red, and garish orange
Obedience in all the traffic below
How sad - there is no traffic to command
Though once there was, before the lordly lights
Were lifted up: a little town was here
With pharmacies, feed stores, hardware, and cafes
And a movin’-picture show. All gone now.
And then the state put up the traffic lights
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