Raise High the Red Flag, Comrades Biffy and Muffin!

Mack Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

Raise High the Red Flag, Comrades Biffy and Muffin!

In a time of high unemployment and economic challenges for many of us, the idle rich are amusing themselves by taking their high-dollar camping gear and electronics and blocking the streets so that working people cannot get to their jobs.

Quite wisely, local authorities are doing their best to ignore Beret Barbie and Counter-Cultural Ken, knowing that they will go away when people stop paying attention to their look-at-me-ness.  And, too, there is the problem of our Vichy-ite regime who apparently side with the spoiled uberklasse in demanding that you and I pay for their indolence and for their Harvard and Yale degrees.

Too thrilling.

Too bad we can’t release a pack of attack-dachshunds on them.

But one can hope and dream of better times.

Consider the street protestors early in Doctor Zhivago.  When cute ‘n’ cuddly Victor Kamarovsky suggests that perhaps the protestors will “sing in tune after the revolution,” the first-time viewer thinks that nothing in the film could be funnier.  But then, the merry mounted Cossacks charge into the crowd with sabers and make Moscow’s streets run red with cliches’.  He would be a dour, cold, heartless man indeed who could not cry tears of joyful laughter when a musician, entangled in his tuba, is trampled by Czarist cavalry and by his fleeing comrades.

I suppose now he would be entangled in his earphones.

The current Occupy annoyance, a spontaneous (hmmm?) metafecal impaction that manifested itself in many American cities all at once, is clearly well-funded and well-organized by some wealthy conspiracy sending Stalinist useful idiots to play in the streets with the luxury goods and toys that Mummy and Daddy bought for them.  The ‘way cool happening fashion for these vapid Eloi (cf. H.G. Wells’ The Time Machine) is to Occupy – occupy something, occupy anything, even though the little darlings seem unable to express a purpose.

A transient vocabulary of occupy-ness has entered vulgar usage, and anyone fond of playing with words can only be eager to join the fun of neologisms.  Consider these modest contributions to the next edition of the Oxford Dictionary of American Usage:

Occupie – taking over a pastry shop

Occuprattle – a political speech

OccuPop – George Soros?

Occupom – Che Guevera’s hat

Occupuss – Che Guevera’s cat

Occupap – Che Guevera’s ideology

Occup*** - Che Guevera’s father

Occupuddle – controlling the low ground on rainy days

Occupad – incontinence control for aging hippies

Occupompous – celebrities who fly in for a photo

Occupork – a fat protestor

Occupot – a revolutionary toilet

Occupoop – the anti-Semitic thugs who appear to dominate the Occupy scene

Occupup – Seizing the dog pound in the name of The People

iOccupy – a sit-in at Apple, Inc., whose products are made by slave labor in China and which are so beloved of the protestors

Occupoodle – a true believer

Occupaddle – mutiny on the Central Park Lake rowboats

OccuPaddy – the Occupy movement in Dublin

OccuPierre – the Occupy movement in Paris

Occupest – a rich revolutionary idling in the street

Occupeeyew – old hippie crones dancing topless (“Grandma, noooo…!”)

Occupine – a protestor who gets all prickly when asked his purpose

Occupavlovian –  Leftists with limited cognitive skills who have been trained into happy obedience

Occupayoff – who stands to benefit from all this?

Occupedant – a professor or teacher who urges stupid young people into the gutters instead of making any effort to help them learn to think for themselves

Occupique – annoyance felt by Lefties when they realize they’ve burned the only coffee shop on the street and now can’t have a double-decaf-latte’-ventral-snorkle on Mummy’s credit card

Occuparroting – Mindlessly repeating empty slogans as ordered

Other new words include occuprecious, occuprince, and occuprincess.

Taboo words which may not be spoken lest global warming fall upon us in baleful wrath include occuwork, occuthink, occustudy, and occubathe.

Yes, this is the season for cultural remakes, and 1968 wasn’t very good the first time.

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