That Keep Calm and Carry On Thing

Mack Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

That Keep Calm and Carry On Thing

In 1939 the English Ministry for Printing Posters (or something) set up the typeface and inks for posters that would read KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON to be distributed if the Nazis invaded.

In such a contingency, keeping calm would be a challenge indeed: “Okay, lads, the Germans are crawling up the beaches now.  We’re all out of rifles, but here are some really inspirational posters…”

Some of the sample posters were rediscovered several years ago, and ever since then the Chinese have kept themselves profitably excited by printing the KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON meme on posters, coffee cups, bath towels, and anything else that will hold ink.

This of course led to the inevitable spoofs, and here are y’r ‘umble scrivener’s modest contributions:

Buzzards: Keep Calm and Carrion.

Beachcombers: Keep Clams and Carry ‘Em

Airlines: Keep Calm but not the Carry-ons

Assad of Syria: Keep Killing and Carnage On

Mardi Gras: Keep Cool and Carouse On

Fast-Food Joints: Keep Cholesterol and Cardio-Clog On

Mountaineers : Keep Climbing and Clinging On

When the boss is giving a speech: Keep Clapping and Cheering Him On (or else)

A Newfoundland fisherman: Keep Cod and Carry On, Eh

Best friend: Keep Calm and Have a Cup of Coffee

NRA: Keep Calm and Conceal-Carry

I.T.: Keep Calm and Restart

Psychologist: Keep Calm and Let’s Talk About Your Desire to Slaughter Unicorns

Captain Kirk: Keep Calm and Set Phasers on Stun

Captain Picard: Keep Calm and Engage

Winston Churchill: Never, in the field of human endeavor, have so many kept calm

Vladimir Putin: Keep Calm and Cordon off the Troublemakers

Vice-President Biden: Calm Keep and Strangle Republicans

Governor Perry: Keep Calm, Y’all

The Social Security Administration: Keep Calm and Keep Stocking Up on .357 Sig 125-grain, bonded, jacketed, hollow point pistol ammunition

Shakespeare: Keepeth Calm and Carrieth On, Forsooth

Daily Mail: Keep Calm and Red Arrow Me

The State of Texas: Keep Calm and We’ll Pay a British Company Millions of Your Tax Dollars to Test You.

 

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