The Cleveland Yellfest - column

Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com

The Cleveland Yellfest

Roderick Spode: “Citizens…I say to you that nothing stands between us and our victory except defeat! Tomorrow is a new day! The future lies ahead!”

Barmy Fotheringay-Phipps: “D’you know, I never thought of that.”

- Jeeves and Wooster

Three disparate groups of civilization’s dissenters are said to have flung bodily wastes at each other in Cleveland, Ohio during the first of the two summer covens. Developing one’s ideological thesis statement in one’s urinary tract system is not quite Churchillian oratory.

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The discourse in the hall where the first coven was held was not exactly Churchillian either, with all those errant adverbs flying about. Communication becomes more effective when such clutter as “actually” is removed – after all, one cannot “unactually” do, see, or experience anything.

Further, an icon (also spelled “ikon”) is a two-dimensional religious image featuring Jesus or a saint. Icons are common in the Eastern Orthodox churches, less so in the West. Referring to a person as an icon is like referring to him or her as a crucifix, a cross, or a religious painting: “And now I want to introduce to you a real crucifix of our political movement…” or “He was such a religious painting of the music world.”

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Outside the Cleveland yellfest three, oh, real Americans were photographed posing in discount-store camouflage, gas station sunglasses, and the now requisite Pictish woad while cuddling what appeared to be poorly-maintained rifles with the usual curvy fruit magazines. They averred that they were present to back up the police. What a comfort to everyone, eh? One wonders if any of them ever took any military or police training beyond perusing the lurid pictures in a Captain Leotard comic book.

They should stop it. Just stop it. If they want to be cops, then they should apply for the academy. If they want to be soldiers, then they should enlist. But first they should grow up, stop playing with guns in the street, and get out of the way of the True Blues, the men and women who endure a rigorous program of physical and mental training, including ethics and law, and who take a sacred oath.

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The Republic of Turkey does not tolerate political conventions or political dissent.

Democratically-elected Turkish President Recezp Erdogan is reported by the Daily Mail to have sacked (so far) 50,000 judges, police, military, and teachers, and forbidden them to leave the country. This is in addition to some 9,000 others previously arrested on allegations of trying to overthrow their beloved leader. Those arrested include 115 generals, 350 other officers, and almost 5,000 enlisted men. Even before the recent coup attempt the loving father of his people arrested some 2,000 of his fellow citizens, including children, for not liking him.

If true, this means Erdogan is arbitrarily removing from both high-level and low-level government positions those industrious and thoughtful citizens from solid, stable working class and middle class backgrounds who are essential to the orderly life of a nation of laws.

In contrast to Erdogan’s fuhrerprinzip, American politics are goofy and undisciplined, but seem to work most of the time. At the ‘Publican Convention the Colorado, Alaska, and several other delegations, in the best tradition of a free people, made a spirited defense against being pushed about by the party bosses. They lost, but unlike the outspoken in Turkey they weren’t arrested, stripped naked, beaten in the streets, and crowded into concrete cells while shackled to each other, there to await show trials and executions.

Our inefficient political process, despite the stupid hats and cartoon tees and mugging for selfies, is in its bumbling pretty good after all.

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