Friday, September 29, 2017

Hitler's Panties - column


Mack Hall, HSG




Hitler’s Panties



Someone has purchased Adolf Hitler’s undies for $6,700.  And let the people say, “Eeyewwwww.”



The buyer’s name has been kept unmentionable, and one understands why: a collector of fanboy unmentionables is a candidate for a room next to the fellow who is convinced he is Napoleon.



Dear Leader’s bvds apparently were misplaced in the laundry in an Austrian hotel in 1938.  Imagine being the room service guy who had to explain how he misplaced Der Fuhrer’s drawers.  Someone kept them as a souvenir of good times, and they were recently sold at an auction in Maryland.  This classy ‘n’ sassy delicate (gentle cycle only) is usually not the sort of thing that appears on Ebay.



Importing Hitler’s you-know-whats into the USA must have been amusing – how would the customs label read?



Boxers? Or briefs?



Boxers.  There is an “AH” embossed on the garment, but no little swastikas, fasces, double lightning bolts, or Winnie-the-Pooh characters.



One imagines those quiet evenings at home with Wolfie and Eva Braun, roasting civilizations in the fireplace and whispering sweet Nazi-ings to each other while accoutered in their loungewear.



There was that awkward occasion when AH discovered that EB kept a poster of a topless Josef Stalin in her boudoir, but they made it up when EB giggled that AH’s ‘stache was much ticklier than JS’s.



Did Stalin lounge about the Kremlin in his longIvans ‘way into the wee hours listening to The Andrews Sisters records and autographing death warrants?



But maybe the old boy was a bit more risqué, something in sync with “The Volga Boatmen’s Thong.”



One wonders if there is a market for General Tojo’s no-nos.



Or a Mussolini bikini.



Mao Tse Dung’s Long March Xuans.



Ah, well, we’d better keep this shorts…uh, short.



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