Mack Hall, HSG
Hitler’s Panties
Someone has purchased Adolf Hitler’s undies for $6,700. And let the people say, “Eeyewwwww.”
The buyer’s name has been kept unmentionable, and one
understands why: a collector of fanboy unmentionables is a candidate for a room
next to the fellow who is convinced he is Napoleon.
Dear Leader’s bvds apparently were misplaced in the
laundry in an Austrian hotel in 1938. Imagine
being the room service guy who had to explain how he misplaced Der Fuhrer’s
drawers. Someone kept them as a souvenir
of good times, and they were recently sold at an auction in Maryland. This classy ‘n’ sassy delicate (gentle cycle
only) is usually not the sort of thing that appears on Ebay.
Importing Hitler’s you-know-whats into the USA must have
been amusing – how would the customs label read?
Boxers? Or briefs?
Boxers. There is
an “AH” embossed on the garment, but no little swastikas, fasces, double
lightning bolts, or Winnie-the-Pooh characters.
One imagines those quiet evenings at home with Wolfie and
Eva Braun, roasting civilizations in the fireplace and whispering sweet Nazi-ings
to each other while accoutered in their loungewear.
There was that awkward occasion when AH discovered that
EB kept a poster of a topless Josef Stalin in her boudoir, but they made it up
when EB giggled that AH’s ‘stache was much ticklier than JS’s.
Did Stalin lounge about the Kremlin in his longIvans ‘way
into the wee hours listening to The Andrews Sisters records and autographing
death warrants?
But maybe the old boy was a bit more risqué, something in
sync with “The Volga Boatmen’s Thong.”
One wonders if there is a market for General Tojo’s
no-nos.
Or a Mussolini bikini.
Mao Tse Dung’s Long March Xuans.
Ah, well, we’d better keep this shorts…uh, short.
-30-
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