Sunday, June 6, 2021

What Would Ol' Doc Adams Do? - weekly column

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

What Would Ol’ Doc Adams Do?

 

“That’s right: Get a shot, have a beer”

 

-The President of the United States

 

Okay, I had the CV, and later on the two jabs, and as a condition of service as  a volunteer have the swab run up my nose and out through my skull every week. I’m good. The CV was not my choice, but the jabs and the swabs were, and I am reasonably sure they were the right choices based on the first-hand recommendations of real people with real medical qualifications.

 

Dr. InterNet does not have a voice in my health choices. Nor does someone’s third-cousin who almost finished nurses’ aide school. Nor does a purported doctor whose medical school’s name ends with “.com.” 

 

However, my president feels that I and you are merely The Little People, simpletons who must be coaxed with treats in order to do what he thinks is good for us. He and Anheuser-Busch, a Belgian multi-national, have colluded in offering each American a $5 gift certificate, good only for Anheuser-Busch products, if we will take our medicine like good little girls and boys.

 

When I was a rug-rat Dr. Moore always gave me a lollipop after I had a jab, assuring me, despite my screaming and crying and attempts at escape, that I was a good, brave boy.  My Aunt Lola, Dr. Moore’s RN, would probably have given me a spanking for my nonsense; she was made of sterner stuff.

 

We don’t get lollipops now. We’re adults. We make adult choices without being offered shiny things.

 

In Florida they might offer you a cryptobeer. You can’t see it, taste it, or touch it, but trust us, it’s real.

 

Maybe $20 of glass beads would work as well.

 

Other authorities offer raffle tickets, and there’s nothing that says responsible medical care like raffle tickets.

 

Maybe the governor of Texas will offer a drawing for an AR to swagger around with, only I’ll bet you can’t swagger into his house or workplace with one.

 

Was Hunter Biden given a new laptop for his jab?

 

Did the two Trump boys receive new hunting rifles?

 

But in the end (actually, they give you the jab in the arm, not the end), the one serious matter is this:  should you take the jab? That’s not my call, but neither is it Dr. InterNet’s. My one recommendation is that you should visit face-to-face with a nurse-practitioner or medical doctor, speak your concerns, and then listen. Listen. And then you must make an adult choice for yourself.

 

 

Free beer? Anheuser-Busch will buy you a round if America reaches Biden's July 4 vaccination goal - CBS News

 

How to Get Free Beer if U.S. Vaccine Goal Is Reached (newsweek.com)

 

Free beer, other new incentives for Biden's 'vaccine sprint' - ABC News (go.com)

 

Budweiser (forbes.com)

 

-30-

 

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