Sunday, December 4, 2022

Jack and the Magic Cryptostalk - weekly column 4 December 2022

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46194@aol.com

 

Jack and the Magic Cryptostalk

 

As we are so often reminded in life, there are no magic beans. Still, the lesson is often not taken: The Dutch Tulip Bubble in the 17th century, the South Sea Bubble and the Mississippi Bubble in the 18th century, the original Ponzi scheme in 1919, fools’ gold, emus, Enron, Madoff, cryptocurrency, the Texas State Lottery [State lottery advertising tells players half of the story | AP News], Theranos, and any number of other get-poor-quick schemes that victimize people with cruel tricks to separate them from their savings.

 

We all read about these historical ripoffs in our history classes and wondered how anyone could be so naïve as to mortgage the house to buy, say, tulips, or maybe shares in a gold mine in Peru.

 

In the future people will read about cryptocurrencies and marvel even more. How is it that people invested in something that didn’t even exist? A machine or series of machines generate secret codes that have no reference to anything in reality, and some clever people then sell these secret codes for money. The idea is that the secret codes acquire value and can later be sold for a profit.

 

Magic beans indeed.

 

The first few code owners in any given scheme do make a profit; they tell their stories which in turn entice others to buy some of the magic beans – codes – and so the originators accrue fortunes which they filter to a foreign tax haven before discreetly disappearing with almost all of the investors’ money into another nation which for a generous fee will ignore any attempt at extradition.

 

The recent dramatic failure of a cryptocurrency [Crypto Stocks Teeter Near Abyss as Fink’s Warning Adds to Angst (yahoo.com)] and [Why Hasn’t Sam Bankman-Fried Been Arrested Yet? (nymag.com)] has let the metaphorical cat out of the bag with regard to the others.  The beanstalk is falling; the marvel is that it stood as long as it did.

 

The first few investors might or might not be required by an inquisitive federal court to give their winnings back, and while Poncy Clever, MBA, is lounging on a tropical beach (as long as a host government will want to put up with him), the thousands of investors will be left with nothing but self-reproach.

 

Poncy Clever, MBA, with an umbrella drink in his hand and a Rolex on his wrist, might paraphrase Marie Antoinette and say mockingly, “Let them eat fungible tokens.”

 

Or magic beans.

 

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