Lawrence Hall
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
LogoSophia
Magazine – A Pilgrim’s Journal of Life, Literature and Love
Don’t Bring Your Humans When You Visit
Really.
Don’t bring your humans when you visit
Yes, I
love humans, and I know that your humans are special
But when they
burble “pupsies,” “cutest-wutest,” and “most-preciousist”
I want to
rip their lungs out and devour them
(says a chihuahua)
A dog
would never say “kissie-wissie num-num”
And not be
driven forever from the pack
And as for
babbling “wouldn’t hurt a fly”
Just how incredibly
stupid is that!
And a dog
would never, ever **** on the floor
Except
when thoughtless humans don’t open the door
Dogs don’t
lock humans in cages to die
Of
starvation and loneliness and thirst
And dogs
don’t drag their humans into other humans’ dens
Without
any preparation, and turn them loose
Uninvited,
unwanted, frightened and confused
To make a chaos
of other humans’ daily routines
When
humans force dogs into an unfamiliar cave
It’s not
the dogs who should learn to behave!
