Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com
The Olympics and Cruella De Vil
The squabbling and politics began before the first competition of this year’s purported Olympics (which are not on Mount Olympus at all).
A male American athlete is reportedly suffering a wall-eyed hissy-fit because a woman will carry the national flag in the processional march and he won’t. After a tie vote the issue was decided by a coin toss. In an anti-social media posting of presidential dignity the male athlete said the coin toss was dishonorable.
The North Koreans will be permitted to compete in the games in South Korea, and South Koreans despise the U.S.A. as much as the Norks do. Don’t expect a tribute to the thousands of Americans who died protecting ungrateful South Korea.
The Korean peninsula is, well, Korean, divided in the middle between Koreans who don’t like each other except when they do, and then they both hate Americans. Let the Koreans sort it all out. Further, Chinese imperialists are strutting around in the area with their shiny new navy, so the Koreans should talk them into choosing sides and paying for the privilege, instead of our depleted Navy and Air Force. There are precedents - no American seems to miss funding bases in Viet-Nam and the Philippines.
The Koreans have promised to stop selling dog meat for the duration of the Olympics. How nice. Dachshunds will be off the menu for a month. If Charles Schultz’s Peanuts is printed in the newspapers in Korea, the appropriate and of course respectful cultural adaptation would be to have Charlie Brown, Lucy, and the other kids slaughter, dismember, and barbecue Snoopy.
According to http://koreandogs.org/ (I do not know how reliable this site is, but other sites concur), Koreans, north and south, prepare pooches for supper with the little things being “electrocuted, hanged, beaten, have their throats slashed, or are boiled or burnt to death.”
Just imagine a television cooking show in the Koreas: “Today, folks, we’re going to take this adorable little beagle with the cute, waggly tail and the big trusting eyes, put him through the blender, and then braise the beagle bits to a nice golden brown…”
The mascot for the Korean Winter Olympics is the Korean white tiger. Perhaps after the games he, too, will be eaten.
Another public relations issue and plumbing challenge at the Korean Olympics is the norovirus is spreading among staffers and possibly competitors. Norovirus, as you remember, is a Latin medical term which means “puking your guts up.”
The source of the current strain is unknown. Perhaps the puppies weren’t cooked properly.
Oh, yes, let us all be enlightened by the spirit of the Olympics.
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