mhall46184@aol.com
An All-Purpose Holiday Behavior Modification Plan
(no, no, just a house I visited long ago -
I escaped as fast as I could)
She will make it a perfect holiday
(“Don’t touch those cookies! They’re for later!”)
Just like the ones on H & G TV
(“Don’t touch Santa! I’ve got him where I want him!”)
With the perfect table and decorations
(“Who moved the Easter bunny, *** **** it!?”)
Exactly like the ones in the magazines
(“Just leave the tree alone; I’LL decorate it!”)
And smiling faces all around the house
(“I expect a little cooperation around here!”)
Perfectly wrapped presents with perfect bows
(“Turn the tree…not that way…LISTEN TO ME!”
Cute Easter baskets for each little child
(“Leave those chocolates alone! you’ll ruin your lunch!”)
Marshaled prettily for a photograph
(“Oh, ****! There’s a grass stain on your church dress!”
Meemaw and Pawpaw will be proud of them
(“**** it! I told you not to play outside in your church dress!”)
The children’s table is just like a picture
(“Not yet! We haven’t even said the ****ed grace!”)
A perfect holiday, or she’ll just die -
No matter how many children are made to cry
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