(As written the caesurae in each line are physically divided; electronic transmission might scramble them.)
Lawrence Hall
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Beowulf and the
Danish Passport Officer
From a recently discovered manuscript
The clapped-out Boeing wheezed
to the gate
The ground crew jumped name-tags
rattling
And swiftly moored the
shining ocean-bird
Behind his plastic shield a
Danish official watched
The travelers approach their
passports raised
He stood peeking down at
the naughty selfie
His girlfriend sent to
his bold smart-phone
Shaking his rubber stamp he
spoke:
“What is the
purpose of your visit?
Business, or pleasure? Hwaet!
I’ve stood
At this same gate longer
than you know
Keeping our gift shops free from British footer hooligans
No commoner carries such
fine matching luggage
Unless his Rolex and
his boyish good looks
Are lies You!
Tell me your name
And your home address and
your email!
The quicker the better I’m
off-duty in ten minutes.”
Beowulf answered him Unlocking
his smart-phone:
“We are the Geats the
mighty, mighty Geats!
Men who follow Malmo FF Malmo FF the great!
And we have come seeking Parken Stadium
Greatest of all stadia Its
shining seats polished
By cheering generations of
fat-full footer fans
We have come to cheer Malmo
FF
While they whup up on Dansk
Boldspil Union
Instruct us, watchman Where
is the stadium
But first, where is the beer?”
The
worthy officer
Answered him boldly:
“A
true fan knows
The difference between fighting
on the field
And puking in the stands and
keeps that knowledge clear
In his beery brain I
believe your babbling
Go forward, credit cards and all on into Denmark
Spend your money! Our
exchange rate is generous!
And then go home bearing our love while we bear your money.”
(Stamp, stamp, stamp) “Tram
stop to the left
Taxis to the right”
(Scholars everywhere will regret that here the burnt
and torn manuscript breaks off.)
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