Sunday, September 4, 2022

The United States Door-Opener Corps - weekly column, 4 September 2022

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

The United States Doormen

 

United States Marines should not be employed as doormen.

 

There is of course everything right with being a doorman in civilian life. They serve in hotels, private institutions, corporate offices, and private homes not only in the matter of opening doors but also as part of the concierge staff.

 

However, the United States Marines are the premiere fighting force of this nation, well-trained, well-disciplined, and fighting fit. They are trained in all sorts of weaponry, both ours and theirs, and in tactics as individuals and from the squad level up. Although each Marine is exceptionally well-trained in and focused on a specialty, all Marines are well-rounded multi-taskers who can perform a multitude of combat, technical, and leadership tasks when needed. A Marine never says, “That’s not my department”; he or she says, “Follow me.”

 

The “follow me” is not to the butler’s pantry to polish the silver.

 

A Marine will, as would any well-brought-up individual, open a door for a frail, elderly gentleman. That is ordinary courtesy, however, not a military specialty.

 

There is something inappropriate about United States Marines being posted to opening doors for people at the White House. After all, we are a republic and the White House is each elected president’s temporary home and office, not a Habsburg palace.

 

In an aside, the answer to the democracy / republic question is “yes.” We are a democracy because we vote on those who represent us in the House and Senate; we are a republic because those whom we elect establish the laws for us. They also take very good care of themselves, but that’s another matter.

 

Similarly, United States Navy officers (apparently enlisted won’t do) should not be hired as social aides – that is their title – in the White House. We understand that the presidential teacups and the presidential flowers won’t arrange themselves, but a commission as an officer in the Navy is hardly necessary for ordinary household tasks.

 

Several of our recent presidents appear to have had a fascination at playing with real military men and women just as little children play with toy soldiers. Our presidents want to be associated with the military, to be seen with them, set them to opening doors and handing out menus, and positioning them as decorations.

 

That happens in President-for-Life Putin’s gilded and mirrored palaces; it shouldn’t happen here.

 

Military men and women employed in domestic duties in the White House should be returned to their units for training and deployment. The president can then have a secretary contact a local employment agency for civilians to show visitors where the guest restrooms are.

 

The thought occurs to some that our senators and congressmen could be gainfully employed as domestic staff, but since they won’t even clean up their own houses and demonstrate a poor work ethic they would not make good hires.

 

-30-

No comments: