Lawrence Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
New York Invaded by
Communist Spy Alligator
On Sunday morning a four-foot alligator was found swimming
in Brooklyn’s Prospect Park Lake.
Reptiles of a sort are not uncommon in New York, but not
alligators. The question being asked all
over America this week is if this was a Communist Chinese spy alligator checking
out the nuclear capability of the paddle boats.
President Xi has neither confirmed nor denied that this was
in fact a Communist Chinese weather alligator.
Park workers pulled the creature out of the water for
something less than $450,000 each and took it to an animal care center for
evaluation: “Well, yeah, that’s an alligator.
A cold alligator.”
Greta Thunberg will burn tons of fuel to fly to New York in
a luxury jet, assemble the park staff, and Miz Grundy at them, “How dare you!
How DARE you!” The park staff will obediently applaud her.
Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau will state that he gave the
order for New York park workers to seize the alligator as part of our NORAD
agreement.
Al Gore will blame global warming.
Meaghan and Harry will blame Queen Camilla.
Congressman George Santos will claim that with one hand tied
behind his back he wrestled that twelve-foot, 1,200-pound alligator into
submission and thus saved New York from Godzilla.
We don’t know what the Vice President said; no one does.
President Biden is expected to address the nation this evening
and stand tall for America against any waterborne incursions by unidentified reptiles.
Fox News may or may not claim that New York was not invaded
by illegal alligators during the Trump presidency.
Somewhere a kindergarten class will be directed to sponsor a
naming contest for the poor little misunderstood alligator. AlligatoryMcAlligatorFace
will win. Bet on it.
North Korea will launch a nuclear-capable alligator toward
Japan.
Since Sunday there have been reported alligator sightings in
Stoner, British Columbia, along the coast of Nunavut, and at a Tim Horton’s at
Niagara Falls. It’s a plot. They’re coming. Watch the skies! Watch the rivers!
Watch the bathroom drains! Watch the Air Force generals give each other more
medals!
-30-
No comments:
Post a Comment