Lawrence Hall
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Have You Read All
These Books?
“Have you read all these books?”
“No, nor have I seen every dawn.”
Wednesday, October 6, 2021
How You Read All These Books? - couplet about that tiresome old question
Tuesday, October 5, 2021
The Weekly Transport of Discarded Hopes - poem
Lawrence Hall
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
The Weekly Transport
of Discarded Hopes
“They didn’t let me finish!”
-attributed to Isaac Babel upon his arrest
Bumping the weekly trash along the lane
Along the lane and through the colding dusk
A sack of faith appeals and banana peels
And coffee filters with no grounds for hope
Bumping the weekly trash along the lane
Out-of-date beans and last month’s magazines
Used printer ribbons, with words left to die
And crumpled notes for projects never begun
Arrested, jailed within a plastic bin
Awaiting a lorry and some big, strong men
Monday, October 4, 2021
Beowulf and the Danish Passport Officer - pastiche
(As written the caesurae in each line are physically divided; electronic transmission might scramble them.)
Lawrence Hall
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Beowulf and the
Danish Passport Officer
From a recently discovered manuscript
The clapped-out Boeing wheezed
to the gate
The ground crew jumped name-tags
rattling
And swiftly moored the
shining ocean-bird
Behind his plastic shield a
Danish official watched
The travelers approach their
passports raised
He stood peeking down at
the naughty selfie
His girlfriend sent to
his bold smart-phone
Shaking his rubber stamp he
spoke:
“What is the
purpose of your visit?
Business, or pleasure? Hwaet!
I’ve stood
At this same gate longer
than you know
Keeping our gift shops free from British footer hooligans
No commoner carries such
fine matching luggage
Unless his Rolex and
his boyish good looks
Are lies You!
Tell me your name
And your home address and
your email!
The quicker the better I’m
off-duty in ten minutes.”
Beowulf answered him Unlocking
his smart-phone:
“We are the Geats the
mighty, mighty Geats!
Men who follow Malmo FF Malmo FF the great!
And we have come seeking Parken Stadium
Greatest of all stadia Its
shining seats polished
By cheering generations of
fat-full footer fans
We have come to cheer Malmo
FF
While they whup up on Dansk
Boldspil Union
Instruct us, watchman Where
is the stadium
But first, where is the beer?”
The
worthy officer
Answered him boldly:
“A
true fan knows
The difference between fighting
on the field
And puking in the stands and
keeps that knowledge clear
In his beery brain I
believe your babbling
Go forward, credit cards and all on into Denmark
Spend your money! Our
exchange rate is generous!
And then go home bearing our love while we bear your money.”
(Stamp, stamp, stamp) “Tram
stop to the left
Taxis to the right”
(Scholars everywhere will regret that here the burnt
and torn manuscript breaks off.)
Sunday, October 3, 2021
And the Death Before Dishonor Confederate Flaming Skull of Death Motorcyclist Cigarette Lighter - weekly column 3 October 2021
Lawrence Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
And the Death
Before Dishonor Confederate Flaming Skull of Death Motorcyclist Cigarette
Lighter
At a gas station beside a small homeless encampment and an
overpass I paused in my adventures for gas, coffee, and a break from the road.
The windows weren’t barred, which is always reassuring.
Gas stations sell gas, of course, as well as beer, sodas,
snacks, and sometimes brass knuckles and big ol’ knives.
Yes, in a lovely display case there was a festive
selection of brass knuckles and large knives, just the sort of things a traveling
Bible salesman might want to pick up in case he accidentally left some of his
weaponry at home.
One set of brass knuckles featured the letters “B,” “O,” “S,”
and another “S” on each of the four primary presentation knuckles.
Advertising the fact or presumption that one is the BOSS
is perhaps a psychological comfort to the operator, but in a dust-up one does
not imagine that the recipient of the blow has time to read the legend or, if
he (or she; I must remember all the pronouns) does have time to read it or to
meditate upon the significance.
After all, if the bearer of the BOSS knucks is indeed the
boss, shouldn’t he (or she) stand upon his (or her) authority without resorting
to bashing someone?
Another set of metallic knuckles appeared to be made of
stainless steel, and the legend thereupon was “KING,” the three consonants and one
vowel again distributed appropriately upon the salient features of this engine
of control.
So, then, does a king wear stainless steel knuckles that
advertise his royal status? Indeed, does a king need to wear stainless steel
knuckles at all? He has an army to wreak violence upon his enemies, and some
shiny medals to impress the ladies.
There were also large knives for sale, one of them
featuring a naked lady. I don’t know why. The knife was large but seemed inadequate
for skinning a deer or splitting kindling. Maybe it was a weird Alfred Hitchcock
thing.
I was going to take a discreet picture of the arrangement
of knuckles, knives, Death Before Dishonor Confederate Flaming Skull of Death Motorcyclist
cigarette lighters, and other Ya Say Ya Want a Revolution tchotchkes but the
clerk was looking at me as if I need to buy some of the scary stuff or move
along, so I moved along.
A gentleman always avoids distressing a lady, especially
one whose stock in trade includes brass knuckles and large knives.
-30-
Neither a King nor a Boss - poem
Lawrence Hall
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Neither a King nor
a Boss
A gas station close by the overpass
A display case of shiny knives and knucks
One of the knives features a naked lady
Some of the knucks are labeled “KING” and “BOSS”
But would the object of a metallic punch
Have time to read either the “KING” or “BOSS”
Before he fell among his blood and pain?
A legless man in a wheelchair rolls by
To his blue tarp and sleeping bag close by
The gas station close by the overpass
Saturday, October 2, 2021
Th Positiv Capability of th L tt r “ ” - poem
Lawrence Hall
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Th Positiv
Capability of th L tt r “ ”
Littl can b writt n without an “ ”
That sur foundation
of s nt nc s and lin s
Th most us ful vow
l you v r did s
Th most b autiful j w l our languag min s
L t us imagin what
a v rbal gap
A loss of this xc
ll nt l tt r would m an
Most consonants would fall into a trap
If th b autiful “
” w r l ft uns n
This little xp rim
nt will h lp us s :
Littl can b writt n without an “ ”
(The title is a play on Keats’
concept of negative capability – or p rhaps I should say, a play on K ats’ conc
pt of n gativ capability.)
Friday, October 1, 2021
Censorship by the Proletariat - doggerel
Lawrence Hall
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Censorship by the
Proletariat
There is a topic in the news today
Most worthy of a throw-away line
But in our cultural lockdown there is no way
To share a joke, however benign
Wednesday, September 29, 2021
Trousers, Gentlemen, Trousers! - doggerel
Lawrence Hall
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Trousers, Gentlemen, Trousers!
“There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do
trousers matter?'"
"The mood will pass, sir.”
― P.G.
Wodehouse, The Code of
the Woosters
Had you visited the post
office today
You might have heard an
elderly man say
(After opening his
newspaper, by the way)
“Trousers,
gentlemen, trousers”
For there in black and
white, on the front page
Was pictured each and
every schoolboard sage
Attired in shorts, in
deference to the age
“Trousers, gentlemen,
trousers”
While one appreciates our volunteers
Who serve our schools for free
(let’s give them cheers)
The vision of old men’s legs
must lead to jeers
Their veined and wrinkled knees
– is this a tease?
“Trousers, gentlemen,
trousers – please!”
OMG! It's the Most Agonizing Awful Pain Ever!!!!! - poem
Lawrence Hall
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
OMG! It’s the Most
Agonizing Awful Pain Ever!!!!!!!!!
(Have you got an aspirin?)
Unless it involves writhing on the floor
(Or another appropriate surface)
Feeding the ducks, explosions behind the eyes
Flailing at the end of a cosmic centrifuge
Shrieking in pain hearing a butterfly
Floating around some twenty miles away
Grasping at bottles of futile agony pills
And begging for a merciful end to life
Unless it’s all of these, and sometimes more -
It’s not a migraine
Tuesday, September 28, 2021
The Children's Back Yard Museum of Art - poem
Lawrence Hall
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
The Children's Back Yard
Museum of Art
Children are the truest arbiters of art
Finding beauty in the unlikeliest things:
A bottle cap, a rusted auto part
Metal washers, broken glass, cigar rings
A discarded knife with a broken blade
One dime-store earring with one rhinestone
A greenish bit of plastic – can it be jade?
And a real-life, genuine dinosaur bone!
Art nicely displayed along the fence row -
Adults think it just junk, but what do they know?
Monday, September 27, 2021
Every Day is Poetry Day, But Sometimes... - poem
Lawrence Hall
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Every Day is
Poetry Day, But Sometimes…
I dunno; is life getting in the way?
Some days the gods, the fates, the little elves
Are fiercely determined to part you from your words
That you must not encounter books or thoughts
(Even the little notebook in your pocket)
But only the vacuum cleaner, the crescent wrench
The washing machine, the cows, the dogs, the lawn
The daily round of crises, duties, and chores -
And maybe only a few lines read at lunch
(Because you always have a book at hand)
A few lines scribbled at the end of the day
Well, they will have to do – whaddaya say?
(Busting a sweat makes you a better writer)
Sunday, September 26, 2021
Treadmills, Exercise, Open Cars, Champagne, and Cigars - weekly column, 26 September 2021
Lawrence Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
Treadmills,
Exercise, Open Cars, Champagne, and Cigars
The panther-like litheness of my youth (cough) long ago expanded
into the, oh, prosperous look of Chaucer’s merchant, and so I have gotten into
the excellent but Calvinistic habit of well, treading along a treadmill every
day. That’s what you do on treadmills; you tread. The treadmill upon which I
tread is inside in the air-conditioning and under a ceiling fan, so there is
little chance of me being run over by some of the race cars here along Beer Can
Road and County Dump Extension.
Some people find exercise invigorating. I find it
tedious.
My old…um…legacy treadmill was pretty flashy in its time,
with red crystal lights telling me what speed I have chosen, how far I’ve wheezed…um,
walked…how many calories I’ve burned, and how long I’ve been a good lad each
session.
Tedious.
Television ads now show us show modern, high-tuned
machines that are so ‘way cool that they are not even called treadmills. Treadmill
– so declasse’. Sniff. They are given brand names that are just noise-labels,
like some cars, and feature computerized Orwellian telescreens with moving
pictures of different roads you can pretend to run on and with some really buff
athletes yelling cliches at you:
“C’MON; YOU CAN DO IT! YOU’VE GOT THIS! JUST A LITTLE
MORE! KEEP GOING! PUSH YOURSELF HARDER! DARE TO BE GREAT! YOU’RE RUNNING TO THE
FUTURE!”
And blah, blah, blah.
Nevertheless, she persisted with cliches on the sides of
made-in-China coffee cups.
If you’re going to exercise, do you really need or want
someone yelling bogus recorded slogans and abuse at you?
Someone who likes being yelled at while running might
want join the Army, Marines, or Navy. I was in the Navy and occasionally we did
time with the Marines, much to the embarrassment of the Marines, so there was
twice the verbal abuse while exercising.
If my mama could have heard some of the vulgar things the
mean old CPO and the mean old sergeant yelled at us she would have had some
choice words of her own to say to them, and they would have felt pretty darned silly,
yessir.
I have set before my, oh, heritage treadmill a television
set. While treading the road of life I watch DVDs of The Bob Newhart Show.
There isn’t much yelling, and although Bob and Emily occasionally jog or play a
little tennis, that’s about it.
In Chicago today, of course, Bob would get LOTS more
exercise in dodging the gunfire. Let’s call it nation-building.
In a scene from Chariots of Fire the candidates
for the Olympics jog down a country road as their friends in the pace car smoke
cigars and drink champagne while urging them on.
Now that’s the kind of exercise I can go for. No, no, not the running, the riding around in
an open car smoking cigars and drinking champagne.
-30-
I Don't Miss Working on the Farm
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
I Don’t Miss Working on the Farm
The hay balers
are out early in the fields
Headlights
outshining late September stars
The din of diesel
engines shaking the world
I don’t miss
working on the farm at all
The operator smoking
a cigarette
While his
sunburnt old hands wrestle the machine
His khakis and chambray
shirt already wet
I don’t miss
working on the farm at all
Yep, laboring in
the fields from can ‘til can’t -
I don’t miss
working on the farm at all
Friday, September 24, 2021
Is William Shatner Going to Deliver my Overdue Book from Amazon? - poem (of a sort)
Lawrence Hall
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Is William Shatner
Going to Deliver my Overdue Book from Amazon?
-William Shatner is reportedly going to space in Jeff Bezos’
civilian space rocket | The Independent
Shipped with USPS Now expected
September 24 - September 25
We’re very sorry your delivery
is late. Most late packages arrive in a
day.
If
you have not received your package by
September
25, you can come back here
the
next day for a refund or replacement.
Tracking ID: 9341989671004370746008
Wednesday, September 22 2:37 AM
Package left an Amazon facility.
Humble, TEXAS US 12:58 AM
Package left the carrier facility.
Humble, TX US Tuesday, September 21
11:30 AM Package arrived
at an Amazon facility. Humble, TEXAS US
Carrier picked up the package.
Times are shown in the local timezone.
A Too-Long and Too-Complex Password - poem
Lawrence
Hall
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Enter a Password
Your
password must consist of at least nine
letters
and three numbers three of the letters
must
be capitalized and two must be
underlined
however while one of the
capital
letters may be underlined
the
other underlining or underlinings
must
be small letters but none of the numbers
is to
be underlined you must include
at
least one specialty key but no more
than
four and the password must not be entered
under
a full moon or within three days
of
Michaelmas either way we’re sorry
your
time has expired please exit this window
and
then re-submit but not the same password
you
entered before
Thursday, September 23, 2021
An Hour with Dachshunds and Keats - poems
Lawrence Hall
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
An Hour with Dachshunds and Keats
The first day of
autumn – surprisingly cool
In this almost
tropical latitude
So after a day of
working outside
I sat with Keats
before a brushy fire
As is my custom I
read his “Ode to Autumn”
With a tumbler of
– lemonade – to hand
While the little
fire sang its own kind of song
And the dachshunds
snuffled among the leaves
The first day of
autumn – surprisingly cool
And in her rising
the Evening Star blesses us
Wednesday, September 22, 2021
Lawrence's Apple Watch is Fully Charged - poem
Lawrence Hall
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
“Lawrence’s Apple
Watch is Fully Charged”
Oh, sure, the MePhone is pleased to say that now
But long before the day spins down the watch
Percentages add up to little and so
I must find the magnetic sticky thing
The charger and the watch embrace with passion
You can almost see the electricity
That sparks their one-ness and their holy bond
Leaving my wrist empty and timeless for a time
“Lawrence’s Apple Watch is fully charged”
But reluctant to leave its charger for long
Tuesday, September 21, 2021
My Garage Sale One-Dollar Mister Spock Clock - poem
Lawrence Hall
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
My Garage Sale
One-Dollar Mister Spock Clock
All stern he is, in science department blue
Behind the clear face of an old-fashioned clock
An hour hand, a minute hand, a sweep hand too
Orbiting around our wise Mister Spock
Behind his back a motor, made in Taiwan
Powered by a double-A Duracell
Counts the minutes and hours as they drag on
(There is no dilithium fuel cell)
Spock scans for me the starndate, no fuss at all
Always at his post on my office wall
Monday, September 20, 2021
On Teaching Jean Anouilh's BECKET to High School Seniors - poem
Lawrence Hall
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
On Teaching Jean
Anouilh’s Becket to High School Seniors
Beginning with the film
1st student young person on the roll
sheet: “Is that th' pope?”
2nd student young person on the roll sheet: “I’d like to shoot
that old pope.”
We have a lot of work ahead of us
Sunday, September 19, 2021
Love Against Chaos - poem
Lawrence Hall
https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Love Against Chaos
Chaos - when a child doesn’t have a bed for sleep
Good meals for nourishment, peace every day
Books of her very own to read and keep
Parents and friends, a few toys for play -
But when you make a child safe and warm for the night
And give her breakfast at the family table
Daily lessons for instruction and delight
A few easy chores, as far as she is able
And all in a home ruled with blessings and love
You give that child a happy life
And
you give Chaos a shove
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