Lawrence Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
The Love Boat Hoists
the Jolly Roger
According to numerous sources, the Crystal Symphony
(which is a ship, not a mineral or a musical) has failed to make its scheduled
landing in Miami and has fled to the Bahamas to avoid arrest for over a million
dollars in unpaid fuel bills.
Hmmm…will you take a Shell card? Exxon?
“Harrrgh!”
The Crystal Symphony, operated by Genting Hong
Kong Ltd. (Hong Kong) and registered in the Bahamas, owes a BIG fuel bill to Peninsula
Petroleum Far East Pte. Ltd. (Singapore). Peninsula Petroleum has filed for a
judgment against Genting in the Supreme Court of Bermuda (now called a British
Overseas Territory because we’re not supposed to say it’s a colony, so,
shhhhhhhh).
“Hoist the Jolly Roger Covid Mask! Harrrgh!”
Naturally the U.S. has been asked to solve this problem involving
at least three other nations and so on a pier in Miami a wise and weathered U.
S. Marshal sits patiently astride his mighty stallion scanning the horizon for
the errant ship.
Avast, ye mateys! Haaargh!
He’s seen ‘em all, this marshal has, cruise ships that
sail up to the Long Branch Tropic Bar and pick fights with innocent catamarans
and peaceful ferryboats. Someone usually ends up in Propeller Hill. That’s when
they call in the marshal.
“Want a beer, Matt? Harrrgh!”
Another problem is that along with 400 crewmembers there
are some 300 passengers, mostly Americans in their traditional attire of
knee-pants and cartoon tees, who were scheduled to end their cruise in the
all-American city of Miami, not in some furrin country.
“Trouble about the price of rum in Captain Ahab’s Deck
Bar? Make ‘em walk the plonk! Haaaargh! Plonk, not plank. Get it? Ha, ha.
Thus, the captain of the Crystal Symphony has apparently
taken some 700 people against their will (maybe; the Bahamas must be nice this
time of year).
“Send ‘em to Davy Jones’ locker & Health Spa! Harrrgh!”
This will give the passengers lots of stories to tell
their grandchildren: “Yes, lad, I was aboard the good ol’ Crystal Symphony
when she went rogue. One morning my Belgian waffles were undercooked; I won a
big settlement for my PTSD over that.”
“So there be mutiny at the breakfast buffet, eh? Harrrgh!”
Yes, my friends, this has been a sea story about the
fateful cruise of the Crystal Symphony, of pirates and abductions and
mutinies and, yes, a glass of cheap merlot shed on the shuffleboard deck during
a desperate struggle for mastery of the Atlantic Go Around Hanger.
“Harrrgh!”
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