"Thank You for being Such a Valued Customer"

“Thank You for being Such a Valued Customer”

 

And, oh! Have we got a deal for you!

We looted a channel, we’ve raised your rates

We know you paid, but you’re still overdue

We teased you with some weekend movie baits

Which ought to be included anyway

We’re the worst service in history’s annals

We fu(dge) your contract almost every day

And

We want you to buy even more channels!