How to Write a Book or Movie Review

Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com

How to Write a Book or Movie Review

Filler language is that collection of words and phrases which clutter our lives through constant repetition and subtle shifts in meaning, a collection which eventually comes to mean nothing. I mean, like, you know, that’s what I’m talking about.

The reviewers of books and films employ filler language in order praise a book without saying anything. Consider the thicket of words printed on the back of a new book or a DVD, and observe that they do not tell you anything about the book or movie itself, but only about the filters and limited vocabulary of the reviewer. Formal reviews are seldom much better.

Ten common examples of reviewer language as background noise include:

1. Blockbuster – what block is being busted? Is the block a literal block, or is it a metaphorical block? Who breaks the block? Why?

2. A must-read – who says you must read the book? What if you don’t want to read it? What are the punishments for not reading it?

3. This book will change your life forever – no, it won’t.

4. Gripping – well, yes, one is always happy to meet a book with a firm grip.

5. From the heart – this weak excuse indicates a poorly-written book – often me, me, me free-verse prosetry - with few positive qualities. But, hey, this emo-drivel is from the heart, so you have to like it.

6. Page-turner – well, yes, when we read books we turn the pages from time to time.

7. In the tradition of J. R. R. Tolkien – this means there are elves and magic swords, and, like, stuff, and the totally awesome video game is coming out next month. Dude.

8. Voice of a generation – translation: this book is as outdated as polyester bell-bottoms.

9. A story of redemption – the problem here is that most good stories are about redemption: The Brothers Karamazov, Huckleberry Finn, Crime and Punishment, the Narnia stories, The Book Thief, and just about any episode of Little House on the Prairie. What would be useful is for a reviewer to point out the rare story that is not predicated on redemption.

10. Laugh-out-loud – anyone who in a public place laughs out loud while reading a book is as weird that that lonely little man who talks back to the metal cricket clamped to his ear.

In sum, all these words and phrases say nothing about the book or movie and are the same old filler language we have heard so many times. When a film is advertised on the Orwellian telescreen you can often predict exactly what the deep-breathing narrator is going to say next because we have heard the same gush before. We have come to expect filler language and are comforted by it because its failure to saying anything useful or aesthetically pleasing is non-threatening.

Comfortable noises do not constitute communication.

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