Embrace Your Inner Adult

Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com

Embrace Your Inner Adult

With the last of the fictional, cliché-sodden, wish-fulfillment graduation speeches cluttering up our in-boxes we can now turn to the more casual summer pattern of talking back to the filler-language of reporters and interviewers:


This video is going bacterial.

We’re in charted territory.

We need to educate for the 12th century.

Follow your works.

Let’s think inside the box.

There is something new under the sun.

Be careful what you wish for; you might not get it.

Let’s throw more money at the problem.

This isn’t ridiculous! This isn’t ridiculous!

The times need to get with the Church.

That’s just the way the world doesn’t work now.

We didn’t dodge the bullet; the bullet dodged us.

OMZ! OMZ! (for “Oh my Zeus!”) on the repeated amateur footage of tornado porn on what used to be a weather channel.

I say “Kafka-esque” a lot, but I don’t know what that means.

He pushed in all the stops.

The storm was imperfect.

He’s not a lone wolf. Lone gerbil, maybe.

You need to give 95 percent.

Write from your pancreas, not from your heart.

Inexact change, please.

I’d like some extra cholesterol with that.

That is so new school.

And, as a farewell to graduation speeches until December,

I just love guest speakers at graduation. I only wish they would talk longer. After all, I’m not much interested in seeing my child receive her diploma.

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