Lawrence Hall, HSG
MRE Left Over from
a Hurricane
The other day I found a couple of MREs left over from
some hurricane or other, and enjoyed one of them for lunch.
In Viet-Nam’s sunny clime, where I used to spend my time
(I gave that rhyme to Kipling, and he said he thought he could make a poem from
it), we were occasionally given C-Rations. That they were “C” suggests that
there was an “A” and a “B,” but I never came across any such alphabetical
offerings
C-rats came in in little cans and packages packed into
small cardboard boxes. If you were going
to make a day of fun in the sun you stuffed the various components into your
pockets and threw away the box. About every fifth box contained a little can
opener called a P-38, and no one knows why. You could also open a can with your
pocket knife, and of course no man is completely dressed without his pocket
knife. That’s a rule.
C-rats were pretty good except for the
ham-and-lima-beans; whoever invented that mess committed a war crime.
I was curious about the successor rations,
Meals-Ready-to-Eat, or MRE, and how they differ from C-rats.
MREs are packaged in noisy wrappings that even a deaf
Communist could hear and target from a klick away. They are a bit fussy to
handle and open, and I imagine that would be a real problem in cold weather.
The little heater is more amusing than functional, and
you don’t really need it. As with C-rats, all the items in an MRE are already
cooked and edible right out of the many bags.
As for taste, the spaghetti and meatballs in my MRE were
just like those in the C-rats, so probably there is the same bland consistency
among all the menu items.
C-rats contained a little packet of three cigarettes;
MREs don’t. You are still permitted under very restricted circumstances to kill
your fellow man and he, having hard feelings in the matter, will try to kill
you, but you’d better not have a cigarette.
C-rats also offered a little packet of powdered coffee,
cream and sugar, salt and pepper, and a little plastic spoon. The custom was to
share and swap out these these things and the main menu items with your pals.
My one MRE did not contain coffee, cream, or sugar, but
it did include crackers, Skittles, Kellogg’s Fruity Snacks, and a couple of fig
bars.
The military and FEMA do not manufacture MRE’s; they
contract for them with private suppliers. The menus and health concerns change
frequently, so you know what you’ve got only when you read the labels.
When you look up MRE’s on the InterGossip you’ll find, as
always, all sorts of conflicting verbal noise. One brief video was very useful
in showing the viewer how the heater works, but the information was bracketed
by some unhappy politics.
But then everything’s political now, even the weather and
brushing your teeth.
C-Rations and MREs are not as tasty as the afternoon senior
special at Denny’s, but the point is that you can enjoy them and get some
needful nutrition from them when there is no Denny’s due to power failures or
hurricanes or tornadoes.
As for expiration dates, what you eat or feed your
children will require your wise judgment. In that as in many matters the
InterGossip is unhelpful.
MREs – what would Martha Stewart say?
-30-
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