Lawrence Hall, HSG
What’s the Name of
my Bank this Week?
The elected board of trustees of Big City School District
is considering re-naming (for a price – cha-ching!) their football stadium. It’s
for the children.
Names of businesses, streets, schools, statues, and other
private and public entities change often according to political fashions and
financial influences. One generation’s heroes are the next generation’s
ratfinks, which keeps artists, sculptors, and crane operators busy shifting
statues around and making new ones to replace the old ones.
As for banks, a friend once suggested they might as well
put up their signs with Velcro® since they buy and sell and trade and devour
each other almost with the changes of seasons.
Two or three name changes ago I stopped in the
drive-through to cash a small check and the televised teller asked me if I had
an account with their famously family friendly bank. I looked at the new sign
and replied, “I’m not sure. I had an account with a different bank that used to
be in this building.” Yeah, I had to show lots of I.D. for that smart remark.
The selling of naming right for sports venues has become so
common that the practice might be extended to other areas of human endeavor.
Your street might be renamed Acme Computers Avenue on a
yearly lease.
You could sell naming rights applied to your children: Mme.
Sniffly Perfume Collection Tiffany, Smith Lumber Company Kyle, and Gigantic
Consolidated Industries Juan.
Your hunting dogs could be Mega Electrics Pete, Ponsonby
Shopping Mall Molly, and Slick Tire Company Red.
As for the elected board of Big City ISD, one wonders if
they have ever considered naming their stadium after those who paid more for its
construction and still more for its upkeep more than any sody water company or
car dealership, maybe something like The Hardworking Taxpayer Stadium.
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