Lawrence Hall, HSG
Southeast Texas
Alerting Network Adventures in Registration
Last week KJAS Radio published a notice that those of us
already signed up for STAN, the acronym for Southeast Texas Alerting Network, will
have to register again for continued service, and that those without this
needful program can sign up now [Jasper County Residents must re-register for STAN | Local
News | kjas.com].
STAN’s mission, per Amanda Gates, is to send out
emergency alerts (fires, weather, and other crises), and notifications
regarding street closures, water outages, traffic issues, and other useful
information.
This summer I was certainly grateful for the wildfire
alerts, and given our area’s dangerous weather, including tornadoes and
hurricanes, this is a useful service.
Signing up for STAN is said to take only a few minutes.
This was true last year; it is not now. Not for me, anyway. STAN is operated by
a body styling itself Everbridge (and what is that supposed to mean?), and
Everbridge has made registering a (insert expletive of choice here).
First of all, Everbridge insisted that my email address,
which I have used for years, is not my email address, and blocked my re-registration
without any means of appeal.
Given that re-registration is not a possibility according
to Everbridge, I decided to register as if I were a new user. This was tedious but
do-able; however, Everbridge insisted that my username was already in use. I
tried a different name. This time Everbridge simply said that the username was
not acceptable. I then went through some 20-30 usernames without success. Name
after name, dreary imaginings and re-entries worthy of Coleridge’s “Rime of the
Ancient Mariner.” The username that finally worked was an allusion to Saylor’s
Creek, where my great-grandfather was made a prisoner-of-war (you know, one of
those people a certain former president who never made the first day of recruit
training doesn’t like) in 1865.
After an hour or so of fiddle-faddling with Everbridge’s
obscure system, I am registered. I think. We’ll see.
I then read some of the heavy-handed warnings: “You must
comply with Everbridge’s Acceptable Use Policy,” “You will be responsible…,”
and a whole catalogue of such verbiage apparently generated by someone who
wanted to be a prison camp guard and couldn’t meet the standards:
You will not…
You may not…
You must not…
You must…
You agree immediately…
You will be responsible…
You must comply…you must comply…you must comply…
You acknowledge and agree…
You agree to…
There are also cautions against transmitting secret
federal information. I don’t have any secret federal information and if I did I
couldn’t send it via STAN; this is a passive reception scheme that does not
accept messages.
Everbridge is also known as:
Critical Event Management
Safety Connection
Community Engagement
Visual Command Center
Crisis Commander (isn’t this a video game?)
CareConverge
ManageBridge
EngageBridge
HipaaBridge
SecureBridge
Interactive Visibility
Nixle
No wonder Everbridge can’t keep email addresses straight;
they appear not to know who they are.
Despite the vague sound of unmarked stealth UN
helicopters, participating in STAN is one of our county government’s better
ideas for promoting safety, and I encourage the reader to sign up for it.
Besides, maybe next year someone will have some high school
students design an easier-to-use interface. I’ll bet they can do it.
For now, begin with Everbridge.com.
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