Lawrence Hall, HSG
Comparing our Secret Service with Barney Fife is Inappropriate
Because we love and respect Deputy Fife
In art, incompetence can have a certain charm
But in stupid men with guns the charm is lacking
Our agents can’t even keep themselves from harm
Their greatest skills are in shacking and slacking
Colombian floozies and slanting roofs
Unman the best of them; they lose their guns
They lose laptops, but never their 90-proof
And break into private property for poopy runs
To them a President entrusts his life –
He’d surely be safer with Deputy Barney Fife
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