Mhall46184@aol.com
My Old Kentucky
Arson
On
Saturday night a large number of people in Lexington, Kentucky chose to overturn
cars and set fire to couches. One
supposes they could have instead set fire to a cars and overturned couches, but
that would have required a discourse contrasting free will with determinism. Indeed, they could have chosen to overturn
bicycles and set fire to lawn chairs, which would have been much less demanding
physically, but one does not expect rational behavior from lemmings.
This
giddiness was not an expression of joy at the vigil of Palm Sunday, but rather
an outpouring of passion because one small group of young men had demonstrated
greater efficiency than another small group of young men at hurling a spheroid
through a ring appropriate to the size of the spheroid.
So
take that, China; Americans can still throw things with accuracy and then
commit arson. We’re Number One.
According
to The Tennessean, a newspaper which
is part of the Something Group, Susan Straub, a spokeswoman for the mayor, said
that “Things have not gotten out of control.”
Presumably her car and her couch were intact.
Excuse
me for raising a point of disorder here, but isn’t a mob overturning cars and
burning furniture pretty much an example of things getting out of control?
One
photograph showed a young white man in a hoodie and a young black man
hoodie-less sharing a touching moment together as they helped tip over a
car. You know, given the racial tensions
in this nation, it almost brings a tear to one’s eyes to see vibrant diversity and
inclusiveness as young people of different backgrounds come together as one to
destroy someone else’s wheels.
Stand
tall, Kentucky, thou art a light unto the nations.
Apparently
many of the wreckers were university students, so possibly they were rioting
after heated discussions about John Milton’s Paradise Lost. Or perhaps
they were frustrated about an experiment in extending Pythagorean theorems into
higher concepts of calculus.
To
paraphrase an old line of Samuel Johnson’s, one does not evaluate the academic
standards of a university of Kentucky; one marvels that there is a university
in Kentucky at all.
The
rioters were celebrating a win. If they
had lost they would have perhaps tipped over an Amtrak and burned dining
tables, thus continuing the transportation and furniture themes.
But,
hey, if you think Saturday night was violent, just wait until the chess season. “Checkmate!” is the call to arms that leads
to copies of Spinoza being overturned in front of Barnes & Noble, graphing
calculators being burned in the chemistry lab, and drive-by stern looks of
disapproval.
-30-
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