Thursday, May 23, 2019

Laid-Off Airline Employees Start a Restaurant - snarly poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Laid-Off Airline Employees Start a Restaurant

“Please remove everything from your pockets
And place them in this little tray (NOW, please)

Which we will then pass around to strange people
Without you being able to see who they are.”

“Will all merlot-class diners please line up
At the door while we verify your existence?”

“I’m sorry, sir, but your meal will be delayed
For about two hours. Would you like some water?”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but your meal will be delayed
While our maintenance team works on the grill.”

“I’m sorry, miss, but your meal will be delayed
While our maintenance team repairs the oven vents.”

“Yes, the breakfast special is $7.95
But there is a $10 surcharge for the plate.”

“We are sorry, miss, but it appears that
Your silverware has been re-routed to Denny’s.”

“We find that seating twenty customers
At a four-foot table is more efficient.”

“We are having a little turbulence
In the kitchen; please fasten your seat belts.”

“For safety purposes, secure all ‘phones
And stow them until after the salad.”

“We ran out of entrees fourteen tables back.
There is no more coffee. Want a doughnut?”

“However, we have lots of vodka
For the belligerent drunk behind you.”

“Thank you for dining with us this evening
(Yeah, yeah, like we even care about you).”







Most airline employees are wonderful, but those who aren't are certainly memorable in their indolence and insolence. I'm especially reminded of the Air Canada cabin attendant who was far more interested in her Harry Potter book than doing her job, which seemed to consist mostly of snarling about passengers asking for coffee that ran out 14 rows before, and why all that was left for breakfast was an embalmed sticky bun. I think she became a trainer for United.

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

Man: Dog's Best Friend - a couplet

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Man: Dog’s Best Friend

We must forever grateful be that Dog
Ages ago domesticated man

All-Purpose Graduation Speech Soup - graduation column (a re-post from last year)

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com

All-Purpose Graduation Speech Soup – Simply Stir and Serve

Keep the torch alive to pass to a new generation with the key that unlocks the road to the future follow your passion the unemployment will follow we’ve been through some amazing times together make a difference to thine own self be true commencement means a beginning not an ending as we go forth life is a journey not a destination we made it all the hard work we’ve put forth to this point in time these are the best time in our lives as one door closes another door opens because a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step to make the world a better place trust your instincts you don’t find education in books we are the future bright with promise some see the future and ask why but we see the future and ask why not Habakkuk 2:7 we did it I can’t believe we’re here believe in yourself live your dreams to be all that you can be God has a plan for you we have the responsibility to build a new world if opportunity doesn’t knock build a door don’t follow the path blaze a trail because there is no one like you because you are an individual just like those other hundred or so people your age and dressed just alike because life is what happens while you’re making plans live, laugh, love you have to look through the rain to see the rainbow dance like nobody’s looking (even though they are, and they’re laughing at you, not with you) aim for the moon and if you miss you’ll hit the moon (or something) life is not waiting for the storm to pass it’s about dancing in the rain because you are a new generation called to miss 100% of the shots you don’t take because we were all one big family who have lived, laughed, and loved together hey and remember the time (name) barfed on the stairs we’ll all have that shared moment to remember together we can’t save all the starfish but I can make a difference for this one because as a great man Robert Frost said in “The Road Not Taken” we can make a difference for all the starfish in the sea of life today is the first day of your rest of your life oh, the places you’ll go like maybe eternal stasis in front of a smartphone I don’t know why they asked me to be the speaker shout-out to Mom wear sunscreen because your future’s so bright close your eyes and remember when hey, an air horn, that’s so cool, no one’s ever done that before woo-hoo I want to congratulate each of your on your incredible talents and abilities as you begin your journey to a bright and shining future because we are the best class (name of school and a shout-out to the mascot)) has ever graduated (since last year) a dream is a wish your heart makes and you can become anything you dream to be or wish to be or something #lifehack #hashtag now go forth and make your lives exceptional although on Monday morning we’ll wake up and realize we’re just some more unemployed Americans.

-30-

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

YOWL - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

YOWL

“I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed…”

-Allen Ginsberg

No. He didn’t.

He helped mediocrities self-destruct
Through formless howlings in their lonely minds
He pushed them to their deaths with obscene smirks
No more connected than foul faeces flung

Against the good, the beautiful, the true
He pitied himself, and called it rebellion
He squealed out his pimply scatologies
He destroyed the weaklings he could have helped

The best minds of his generation pitied him
But kept their children far away from it

Monday, May 20, 2019

Enough of Gossamer! - rhyming couplet

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Enough of Gossamer!

Enough of gossamer! Enough of it!
It’s just another word for spider ****!

Sunday, May 19, 2019

Topics for Discussion During Sunday Dinner with the In-laws - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Topics for Discussion During Sunday Dinner with the In-laws

Knee surgery Buc-ee’s Alabama
Diarrhea Buc-ee’s Bastrop back surgery
Buc-ee’s Fort Worth foot surgery Buc-ee’s
New Braunfels abdominal surgery

Buc-ee’s Texas City divorce Buc-ee’s
Port Lavaca gastro-intestinal
Series Buc-ee’s Pearland fever and chills
Cardiac workup Buc-ee’s Lake Jackson

Blood pressure pills Buc-ee’s Madisonville
Bypass surgery Buc-ee’s Brazoria

Saturday, May 18, 2019

Soft Dachshund, Warm Dachshund, Little Ball of Fur - doggerel

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Soft Dachshund, Warm Dachshund

With thanks to everyone who gives us Young Sheldon and The Big Bang Theory

Soft doxie
Warm doxie
Little ball  of fur
Happy doxie
Sleepy doxie
yap, yap, yap! YAP! YAP! YAP! Yap! Yap! Yap! YAP! YAP! YAP! Yap! Yap! Yap! YAP! YAP! YAP! Yap! Yap! Yap! YAP! YAP! YAP! Yap! Yap! Yap! Bark! YAP! YAP! YAP! Yap! Yap! Yap! Woof! YAP! YAP! YAP! Yap! Yap! Yap! Grrrrrrr! YAP! YAP! YAP! Yap! Yap! Yap !YAP! YAP! YAP! Yap! Yap! Yap!

Friday, May 17, 2019

What Was Jesus Writing in the Dust? - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

What was Jesus Writing in the Dust?

-Saint John 8: 1-11

It is the topic of many homilies:
What was Jesus writing in the dust there
At the feet of the woman those men didn’t like?
Possibly he was writing to you and me:

“I know what you do when no one’s watching.”

Or

“I know what you say in self-deception.”

Or

“I know what you think when you are silent.”

Or

“I’m going to fry your *ss if you hurt my child.”

And then there is this other mystery:
Why was there dust in the Temple, anyway?

Thursday, May 16, 2019

A Toy Fire Truck and a Real Ambulance - weekly column

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

A Toy Fire Truck and a Real Ambulance

A friend who frequents re-sale shops and garage sales gave me a little Hubley fire truck that was some little boy’s Christmas gift long ago. Except for the axles and tires it’s a one-piece stamping with a double cab, two rolls of fire hose, a ladder, and access hatches port and starboard. On the bottom one can read “HUBLEY / LANCASTER PENNSYLVANIA / MADE IN USA / 402.” There are no USB connections, lights, batteries, or screens. You make it go by pushing it. It’s made of pot metal and some of the paint is missing, but it’s in good shape and the wheels still turn, so this little fire truck is still ready to roll on a living-room floor emergency call.

I’ve never known a little boy who didn’t want to be a fireman, and now little girls too grow up to be firefighters and EMTs and first responders.

Recently a neighbor had to do the 911 thing late at night, and within minutes Steve Sowder and Sue Sowder of the Kirbyville, Texas Volunteer Fire Department arrived in their personal vehicle with medical bags to begin remedying the situation. And then more people showed up, with rotating lights, and then more people, and then an ambulance, and I kinda lost count of all the responders who in only a few minutes were on scene out in the country.

Where would we be without our volunteer fire departments and all their first responders?

We’d be in a mess.

When there is a fire or a medical emergency in your home there is no effective substitute for properly-trained and professionally-equipped personnel to save a a life, a house, a business, a barn, a field, a forest, and all our hopes.

Beyond that, the existence of a well-trained fire service means that we can insure our property at reasonable rates.

And what are our wonderful firefighters and EMTs and first responders paid for all they do for us?

Nothing.

Indeed, they must hold fundraisers to support the purchase and maintenance of equipment.

Buy the barbecue, okay? And don’t ask for any change back.

So thanks to all those who serve, and on this occasion an extra thank-you to the Kirbyville Volunteer Fire Department. They saved a life.

Little toy fire trucks and ambulances are fun; real fire trucks and ambulances are glorious.

-30-

Mr. Trump's Tonkin Ghosts - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Mr. Trump's Tonkin Ghosts

To Our Commander-in-Chief and Manque Leader of the Free World
And All His Old Men Golfing Buddies
Scheduling Their Tee-Times Around Missile Launches

A dying nineteen-year-old can’t even scream
When half his face has been blown away
He can only gurgle, his remaining eye
Staring wildly in agony and fear

Your man-child plays soldier on guided hunts
Kitted out like Rambo, and KA-BLAMMING
A bighorn sheep the guide spotted for him
Taking he-man selfies while yelping “OOOOH-RAH!”

A dying nineteen-year-old can’t even scream
When half his face has been blown away



("Tonkin Ghosts" may well be the title of another work; if it is, please advise me so that I can change the title.)

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Tree Frog in the Rain Gauge - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Tree Frog in the Rain Gauge

During a thunderstorm a little frog
For reasons best known to its grey-green self
Climbed stickey-toed into the chambers of
The gauge, then begged for life as the water rose

Made in China of toxic plastic for
The Weather Consortium Collective ®™
All-natural collection of earth-safe
Weather instruments to save the animals

I took it to the lawn, and gentled it out
During a thunderstorm, a little frog

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

A Hubley Toy Fire Truck - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

A Hubley Toy Fire Truck

A Boy’s happy Christmas in the long ago
Miss Dee found it in an old house she bought
Pot metal with the paint peeling away
Wire axles and rubber tires that still roll

No carpet in those years, a wood-plank floor
Was the dreamland for winter adventures
Between the gas fire and the Christmas tree
Between the morning and evening milkings

Somewhere an old man misses his fire truck -
His happy Christmas in the long ago

Monday, May 13, 2019

I Have Never Watched THAT SHOW - doggerel

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

I Have Never Watched That Show


I have never been one of the slacker drones
I have never been one of the sheep-y clones
I have never eavesdropped on lovers’ moans
I have never seen Jesus in traffic cones

and

I have never watched The Game of Thrones

Sunday, May 12, 2019

We Are All Characters in a Russian Novel - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

We Are All Characters in a Russian Novel

Our steppes and birch woods are metaphorical
And so are we - who has not seen himself
In youth as the innocent Alyosha
Or in bad days as Dimitri or Ivan

Grushenka at times, and pale Katya too
The Grand Inquisitor at our dark worst
Old Karamazov lusting after Death
Foul Smerdyakov descending cellar stairs

Or gypsy dancers in a rented room
Rolling Polish officers for their pay


But who could ever be Father Zosima?

Saturday, May 11, 2019

Everyone Writes a Poem Entitled "My Universities" - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Everyone Writes a Poem Entitled “My Universities”

Although some of my universities
Were universities, I take your point
For you too are a university
I want to know your course of study, your life

Tell me about your university:
Your favorite poet, how you see the skies
Do you like trains? Which hand do you write with?
Which crayon-color did you use up first?

Tell me a story that you tell yourself
While I polish your eyeglasses just right

Friday, May 10, 2019

Rosaries Might be Like Ball-Point Pens - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com


Rosaries Might be Like Ball-Point Pens

Rosaries might be like ball-point pens
A souvenir for you from Brighton Beach
Fabrique en Chine, blessed by the Bishop of Rome
A kind thought from gap years and honeymoons

But now those rosaries and ball-point pens
Repose in stasis beneath your Sunday socks
And the handkerchiefs Mee-Maw monogrammed
In silk for your high school graduation

Go find them
(No, no, not the socks or handkerchiefs...)

Words flung onto paper are gifts of light
And so are Aves whispered in the night

Thursday, May 9, 2019

The Riddle of the Mysterious Sphynx - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com


The Riddle of the Mysterious Sphynx

A wanderer came upon the mysterious sphynx
“Stranger, stand still, if you would choose to live;
I ask each passerby what he knows and thinks,
Thus now I ask a riddle, so stand and give.”

The wanderer answered her rightly that day

And then

The treacherous sphynx devoured him anyway

Wednesday, May 8, 2019

And Just Who Do You Think You Are, Smart Boy? - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

And What Monolith Might That Be?

There is no monolith I push against
If it is there I simply walk around it
Insolently, usually, hands in pockets
Pretending that the monolith is not

I have been cautioned about my attitude
And then I taped those cautions to the stone
Or made them into verse to be resented:
And just who do you think you are, smart boy?

And to tell you the truth I’m not quite sure
If I ever find out, I’ll let me know

Tuesday, May 7, 2019

A Sexy Young Philosopher Lapses into Existential Despair - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

A Young Philosopher Lapses Into Existential Despair

Once upon a time -

A young philosopher sat among men
In the shaded olive groves of Athens
Incense to the Muses, wisdom to all
His ideas soared like Athena’s owls

One day a wise ómorfo korítsi
Delighted him with her strong arguments
Delighted him with her dark Hellenic eyes
Delighted him with a dinner invitation

And as they reclined in symposium met
With verse and wine and wisdom in delight
He excused himself to the toualéta
Where on its walls he read in Attic verse:

If you sprinkle
When you tinkle
Be a sweetie
Lift the seatie

After that his fellow philosophers
Saw him gently into a nursing home

Monday, May 6, 2019

"I Went, And I Am Still Going" - a poem on the occasion of my retirement

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com


“I Went, And I Am Still Going.”

This is a re-post of "All Change at Zima Junction." This morning I turned in my keys after some forty years of herding cattle (metaphorically), some seventeen of them with this institution. I am unemployed for the first time since I was five or so and was set to toddling out to the chicken yard every evening to gather the eggs in an old Easter basket. My mother said that the rooster often chased me and made me cry, but I don’t remember that.

And now - what adventure does Aslan have next for me?

The first book I bought upon returning home from Viet-Nam was the Penguin Modern European Poets paperback edition of Yevtushenko: Selected Poems. That 75-cent paperback from an airport bookstall in San Francisco is beside me on the desk as I write.

All Change at Zima Junction

For Yevgeny Yevtushenko, 1932-2017

Everyone changes trains at Zima Junction
Changes lives; nineteen becomes twenty-one
With hardly a pause for twenty and then
Everyone asks you questions you can’t answer

And then they say you’ve changed, and ignore you
The small-town brief-case politician still
Enthroned as if he were a committee -
He asks you what you are doing back here

And then you go away, on a different train:
Everyone changes trains at Zima Junction

“I went, and I am still going.”1


1 Yevtushenko: Selected Poems. Penguin,1962

Sunday, May 5, 2019

Rain Makes Even Concrete Beautiful - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Rain Makes Even Concrete Beautiful

The rain makes even concrete beautiful:
A drop, then two, and then a singing shower
Baptizing the pavement with little pools
That catch the lights and bounce them all about:

Street lights all golden, rippling up and down
And automobile lights slipping across
The other lights, interrupted by feet
Splashing and slipping all the wet way home

And you, dancing about in the puddles -
The rain makes even love more beautiful


(A brief look through the InterGossip does not show that “Rain Makes Even Concrete Beautiful” has been used as the title for a song or poem or other “spot of art” (as Bertie Wooster would say). If it has, please advise me so I can change it.)

Saturday, May 4, 2019

And You Paid a Company in New Jersey for This - weekly column

Lawrence Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com

And You Paid a Company in New Jersey for This

Last week a 5th-grade child in Lumberton, Texas suffering through the STAAR test (which is the successor to the TABS, and then the TEAMS, and then the TAAS, and then the TAKS, all to the greater glory of the Texas Education Agency) found an illustration which contained a bad word.

You and I would agree that it is a bad word, though the purveyors of what now passes for popular entertainment are pleased to promote it to all, and it is flung around like poo by men and women of all ages in social situations. Hearing a bespectacled, demure-looking granny snorting the f-bomb in a coffee shop while surrounded by children does not speak well for contemporary mutual respect.

The Texas Education Agency, which is what bossy old Miz Grundy became when she went off to college and put on even more airs, cycles through a lot of taxpayer dollars to take care of themselves, bother other people, and inflict cycles of alphabet-soup exams on children.

The TEA is fond of bullying districts, and as an acquaintance more familiar with their ‘tude than I says, the TEA should now taste their own cod liver oil and be required to submit to the local school districts a three-part corrective action plan and regular status reports, and if they fail in remediating the matter of naughty words on their made-in-New Jersey tests to understand that their elected board (yes, you elected them) is subject to being replaced by an appointed board and a state monitor.

According to The Texas Tribune (https://salaries.texastribune.org/state-comptroller-payroll/departments/texas-education-agency/positions/commissioner-texas-education/), Texas Education Commissioner Mike Morath receives $220,375 annually for his service to the children of Texas, so, yes, for that kind of cabbage he should being watching his own office and its doings.

The various exit-level exams used in this state are sold to Texas by Pearson Publishing, a British company headquartered in London and with marketing tentacles all over the world, and by Educational Testing Service in New Jersey, which is far more foreign than Britain.

A salient question is why Texas families are taxed by the Texas state government to pay out-of-state and out-of-country companies to generate tests for Texas children in Texas schools.

Are there no universities, schools of education, and publishers in Texas who can build exams (with or without awkward pictures) and publish textbooks for Texas children, or are we to be forever a cultural colony somewhere beyond Carlo Levi’s Eboli?

-30-

I Visited a High School ("Hisssssssss...!") - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

I Visited a High School

I visited a high school the other day
Walking past the police car at the door
Into a vestibule cold-camera-watched
Presenting identification at a window

Efficiently buzzed through into a hall
Which stank of aggressive disinfectant
Among the shoalings a poor unhappy girl
Angrily picked her nose and glared at me

And hissed behind my back as I went my way
(It’s all the fault of the teachers, they say)




(If you want to be alone for a while, go vote in your local school board elections. Everyone else is too busy complaining.)

Friday, May 3, 2019

The Sorrows of Younger Werther, B.A., M.A., Ph.D. Candidate - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

The Sorrows of Younger Werther, B.A., M.A., Ph.D. Candidate

A grown man in knee-pants and a cartoon tee
Flip-flopping along in his shower shoes
His hands up in surrender as he runs
A MePhone in his left, water bottle in his right

Nasaling “OmyGod! OmyGod! OmyGod!”
It’s his all-purpose whining upspeak chant
Wailed out for any grade less than an A
Or for a kitty-cute MeTube video

And now for a campus shooting: “Why me!?”
I just didn’t think it would happen here!”


(cf. Goethe, The Sorrows of Young Werther)

Thursday, May 2, 2019

That Tricky Trompe L'oeil - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

That Tricky Trompe L’oeil

Wait! I thought I saw
A trompe l’oeil trompe-ing along -
I could have been wrong

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

A Worker's Response to Carol Vanderveer Hamilton's "May Day" - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

A Worker’s Response to Carol Vanderveer Hamilton’s “May Day”

As one of the blue-jacketed workers
As a defiant student
As a child of poverty
Who never had a bicycle to ride to the Sorbonne

I repudiate your vivid red flags
And your graduate-school keyboard revolution
And your catalogue of cliches’ and cant
And your crawling housefly symbolism

As one of the blue-jacketet workers
As a defiant student
After an all-night shift in the plastics factory
I like my cuppa Earl Grey tea in my bleeding hands

Someday I’ll have a bourgeois balcony
And from it look down on your stereotypes

Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Streaming Forbidden Love - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Streaming Forbidden Love

So many movies on the streaming service
Advert themselves as about forbidden love
Until one wonders if there is any love
Which is not forbidden
                                           your credit card welcome

Monday, April 29, 2019

An Extraordinary Ordinary Life - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

An Extraordinary Ordinary Life

For Mrs. Tinney Davidson, The Waving Grandma
Comox, British Columbia

She lived in an ordinary house in an ordinary street
And every day she waved to children passing by
And every day the waved-at children waved back
Because a wave is a good beginning to the day

In the morning she waved the children along to school
And in the evening waved them back again home
And every day the waved-at children waved back
Just like the waves that hug a beach, with love

And then one day she went away, and waved -
And the waved-at children will wave back forever

Extraordinary!

(cf. Here and Now, CBC St. John’s, 26 April 2019)

Sunday, April 28, 2019

Manic Pixie Dream Girl at a Funeral - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Manic Pixie Dream Girl at a Funeral

The manic pixie dream girl of my youth
Curving and tight, scampering along the beach
Her wild black hair flying about as she danced
Teasing all the boys with her sunlit joys

I read to her Rod McKuen by candlelight
While Joni Mitchell on the turntable mused
We played and smoked, and drank good screwcap wine
And played some more, and then she went away

And now - an old lady in a funeral home pew
And I’m not so sure of myself anymore


(“Manic pixie dream girl” is a neologism attributed to film critic Nathan Rubin)

Saturday, April 27, 2019

Pascha at St. Michael's Orthodox Church - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Pascha at St. Michael’s Orthodox Church

Happy Easter / Pascha to a Russian Orthodox Friend

What sort of man sits in the silent dark
And waits for a small candle to be lit
When he could reach over and flip a switch
For the miracle of electricity

Bravely to course through the building’s wired veins
The march of progress with a touch controlled
By the hand of humanity triumphant
Over Byzantine superstition. Tell us:

What hopeful sort of man waits for the dawn,
For Light to appear from a cold, sealed tomb?

Friday, April 26, 2019

A Clerisy of One - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

A Clerisy of One

I am a clerisy of one
I argue with myself a lot
And as I speak I know I’ve won
I’m all about me, and you are not

Thursday, April 25, 2019

For President of the United States - Me - weekly column

Lawrence Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com

For President of the United States - Me

For fear of being the only American not to run for office this election cycle, I now announce that I want to serve me I mean…You The People…of this great land as your next president.

I also want the fleet of presidential jets, the garage of great big SUVs, the household staff, an armored train with great big nuclear cannons that go “BOOM!”, a bunch of helicopters, and a gold-plated toilet that lights up and plays “Hail to the Chief” when flushed, just like the Constitution says.

I solemnly swear that if you elect me as your next president I will let you little people look at all the jet airplanes, SUVs, the armored train, and the helicopters you pay for.

The Gold-Plated Toilet of The People is off-limits, though.

As your president I’m not going to ride Amtrak, carry my own suitcase, or eat in a roadside diner. I want all the goodies. I want my presidency to be a reflection of my America. And you can look at your reflection in a mirror.

As your president I will see to it that my family and my friends fly on presidential airplanes to London, Paris, Rome, Saint Petersburg, Saint Moritz, and Tokyo on shopping trips and vacations so that you can be inspired by how your tax dollars are making my buddies happy. Just like some of the previous presidents.

As your president I will bill the Secret Service for protecting me at the best rate quoted by the Deutsche Bank. After all, if those guys are going to hang around on my lawn in all sorts of weather protecting me and my family, they should pay me rent, okay? Just like the previous president.

As your president I will hang around with and pay off only those dictators with a good fashion sense. When Kim Jong Ill ditches the mousey-dung play-school outfit and learns to wear a coat and tie like a grownup, then we can talk. And no Justin Trudeau socksies, either.

As your president I will tell you what’s in Area 51. And Area 50. It stands to reason that if there is an Area 51 then there must be an Area 50. It’s so secret that you haven’t even heard of it. That’s what The Voices tell me.

As your president I will develop a national health and exercise program whose core strategy is having everyone run laps around former Governor Christie of New Jersey.

As your president I will build a big, beautiful, yuuuuge wall built around the Internal Revenue Service.

As your president I will sign an executive order banning the death penalty except for telemarketers - for them death by throwing them into a pit of ravenous dachshunds will be mandatory.

As your president I will ask Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson to form a select committee for writing lyrics for “Hail to the Chief, and I am the Chief.”

And remember, my fellow Americans, a vote for me is a vote for, well, me.

Thank you, thank you. And don’t forget to send the Benjamins.

-30-

An Execution - Maybe the Prisoner was Already Dead - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com


Maybe the Prisoner was Already Dead

“...he stepped slightly aside to avoid a puddle on the path.”

-George Orwell, “A Hanging”

Evening. Maybe he was already dead
Dead long before the State boys strapped him down
And a functionary started an I.V. drip
Left arm? Or right? In a cinder-block room

Fluorescent lights

With windowed faces posted on both sides
Testaments to the protocols of death
The liturgy of falling away because
He and the lads murdered a helpless man

Fluorescent lights

He breathed. And then he didn’t. His bowels let go
And did they put a Band-Aid on the wound?

Fluorescent lights

But now

Let’s go outside and feel the wind

                                                            We live

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Choking on Aspirational Hyphens - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Choking on Aspirational Hyphens

Our straw boss, now, she hyphenates her name
And there is something frightening about
Those faux dashes fastened between the nouns
Her proper nouns, as if they might slip loose

And fall onto the pages of Debrett’s
As isolated bits of DNA
Dropping their aitches and their gees, oh, please!
So tack that Burberry hyphen back again

Let no proletarian taint be seen -
Made in China becomes Fabrique en Chine

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

"We Will Rebuild Notre Dame Even More Beautifully" - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

“We Will Rebuild Notre Dame Even More Beautifully”

-President Macron

Your privacy is guaranteed
There’s nothing to see here, nothing
He died while trying to escape
Now, then, this might sting a little

Winning the hearts and minds of the people
A light at the end of the tunnel
Lose weight without diet or exercise
We never sell your information

Uploaded unintentionally
Oh, sure, I’ll pay you back next week

Monday, April 22, 2019

Neo-Platonic Darwinian Bird-Ness - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Neo-Platonic Darwinian Bird-Ness

The birds might say, “Oh, look at the pretty humans!
They have waited all winter for us to return!”
And so we have, like seasonal hoteliers
Inviting our guests back for their holiday

The seed-buffets on little metal trays
And little plastic houses in the trees
Bespeak our thoughtful hospitality
For little friends who live upon their wings

Now summering in nest and eave and steeple
The birds must laugh, “Oh look at the people!”

Sunday, April 21, 2019

Ubi Petrus - poem (a repost for Easter Sunday)

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com


Ubi Petrus

For Inky and Jason


“Ubi Petrus, ibi Ecclesia”

- St. Ambrose of Milan


Where Peter was, there also was the Tomb --
Blood-sodden dreams cold-rotting in old sin,
The Chalice left unwashed, the Upper Room
A three-days’ grave for hope-forsaken men.

Where Peter is, there also should we be,
Poor pilgrims, his, a-kneel before the Throne
Of Eosian Christendom, and none but he
Is called to lead the Church to eternal Dawn.

Where Peter then will be, there is the Faith,
Transubstantiation, whipped blood, ripped flesh
A solid reality, not a wraith
Of shop-soiled heresies labeled as fresh.

Where Peter is, O Lord, there let us pray,
Poor battered wanderers along Your way.

Saturday, April 20, 2019

No One Has Messed Up Good Friday Yet - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

No One Has Messed Up Good Friday Yet

All Souls’ and All Saints’ were made to disappear
Easter is bad enough with rabbit eggs
And Christmas was appropriated by The People
As a tribute to (belch) Glorious Excess

But no one has taken Good Friday away
With gifts and treats and two-for-one specials
Down at Chez Bubba’s Discount Liquor and Smokes,
And Colonial Auto Parts stays open - why not?

But while the world spins along on its way
A few eccentrics remember Him this day



I'm late with this.  I hope the Holy Saturday Hamster (who leaves omelettes for good little girls and boys) isn't miffed about it.

Friday, April 19, 2019

"Stop Crying While I'm Making Your Lives Happy! - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

An All-Purpose Holiday Behavior Modification Plan
 
(no, no, just a house I visited long ago -
I escaped as fast as I could)

She will make it a perfect holiday

(“Don’t touch those cookies! They’re for later!”)

Just like the ones on H & G TV

(“Don’t touch Santa! I’ve got him where I want him!”)

With the perfect table and decorations

(“Who moved the Easter bunny, *** **** it!?”)

Exactly like the ones in the magazines

(“Just leave the tree alone; I’LL decorate it!”)

And smiling faces all around the house

(“I expect a little cooperation around here!”)

Perfectly wrapped presents with perfect bows

(“Turn the tree…not that way…LISTEN TO ME!”

Cute Easter baskets for each little child

(“Leave those chocolates alone! you’ll ruin your lunch!”)

Marshaled prettily for a photograph

(“Oh, ****! There’s a grass stain on your church dress!”

Meemaw and Pawpaw will be proud of them

(“**** it! I told you not to play outside in your church dress!”)

The children’s table is just like a picture

(“Not yet! We haven’t even said the ****ed grace!”)

A perfect holiday, or she’ll just die -
No matter how many children are made to cry

Thursday, April 18, 2019

A Load or Two of Codswallop - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

A Load or Two of Codswallop

One hears of a load of codswallop
But no one knows what a codswallop is
And only by the load, or can you buy a dollop?
And just who is in the codswallop biz?

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

If There is a Rebound, There Must Have Been a Bound - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

If There is a Rebound, There Must Have Been a Bound

Rebound!

I don’t understand basketball at all
Women and men run around in funny clothes
Yelling a lot while keeping a basketball
From each other in a shoe-slapping gym

Rebound!

And they yell “REBOUND!” more than anything else
And I hear each “REBOUND!” echoing about
And shoes slide-squeaking on the wooden floor
And I have no idea what any of it means

Rebound!

I only know that roundballers are tall

Beyond that

I don’t understand basketball at all

Rebound!

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

The Pragmatic Sanction of a Penny Candle - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

The Pragmatic Sanction of a Penny Candle

Nothing is more pragmatic than a votive light
A candlelight
A little light
A prayer light

Monday, April 15, 2019

Famous News Guy Live With the Burning of Notre Dame de Paris - not exactly a poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Famous News Guy Live With the Burning of Notre Dame de Paris

Notre Dame is much more than a place of worship
iconic Notre Dame is much more than
a church icon Notre Dame is much more
than a place of Worship icon Notre Dame

is much more than a church iconic
Notre Dame is much more than a place of worship
iconic Notre Dame is much more than
a church icon Notre Dame is much more

than a place of Worship icon Notre Dame
is much more than a church iconic

Sunday, April 14, 2019

The Elf-Girl, the Knight, and the Holy Grail - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

The Elf-Girl, the Knight, and the Holy Grail

She giggles, soft-hidden behind the green
And summer-teases, a shimmer in the air
She peeks at him and laughs, this fairy queen
With mischief in her eyes and flowers in her hair

While through the forest glades our young, fresh knight
Must keep his path as duty to his King
She dances by him, laughing, lithe, and light
What will he have - chapel, or fairy-ring?

And while he makes his vows, she all unseen -
She giggles, soft-hidden behind the green

Saturday, April 13, 2019

Seeking Sanctuary at the French Embassy - weekly column

Lawrence Hall, HSG
Mhall46184

Seeking Sanctuary at the French Embassy

“...and thence to a thing that peers in at…windows…”

-C. S. Lewis, p. 99, A Preface to Paradise Lost

Julian Assange, maybe a citizen of Australia and maybe of Ecuador, but mostly a resident of his own unhappy mind, spent seven years in his safe space in the Ecuadorian embassy in London.

Ecuador recently tired of Mr. Assange (as have we all), and ejected him into the waiting arms of a few sturdy young men in civvies, who may or may not be English bobbies, and who then gave him a courtesy ride to the nearest magistrate.

Ecuador must now hire some extra cleaners to take care of the filth and the feces (not all of it the cat’s, according the the ambassador). Yes, Mr. Assange has impressed a great many people in many ways.

Mr. Assange had forgotten the first rule of betrayal - when the country of the second part has no more use for the man who has sold out the country of the first part, the country of the second part discards him. Mr. Assange and his cat and his computer have been discarded.

Mr. Assange is no journalist and no hero; he is only a nasty little creep of the sort who peers in at other people’s windows.

We are all concerned for the cat, of course.

Mr. Assange, citizen of the world, is fortunate in having violated the laws and the trust only of the United States, Sweden, Ecuador, and Great Britain. Had he gotten crossways of the Russian KGB or of North Korea’s merry maids of mayhem, he’d be deader than Robert Francis O’Rourke’s chances of table-top dancing his way to the presidency in 2020.

One must admit that Mr. Assange’s sneaking and spying and finking paid him well, giving him the mob-funding to travel all over the world until seven years ago, when he promised to appear in an English court, and instead lied his way into the care and protection of Ecuador.

Perhaps you or I could work that gig, eh? We could betray, say, Monaco or Malta, selling all their gambling secrets to the highest bidders, and then fly to England and show up at the French embassy demanding sanctuary.

I have chosen the French embassy for your consideration because it’s much bigger and nicer than Ecuador’s, which is really just a large apartment. A schemer could live there for several years as the darling of the sort of people who watch The View, don’t vaccinate their children, and believe that the British royal family are really The Lizard People from Mars. A new parasite could inspire a new generation to be untrustworthy in every way, and pose with the Dolly Llama, some leftover 1970s actresses, and a few stray dictators-in-exile for photographs of saintly fellows who stick it to The Man.

But no.

In the end, Mr. Assange is a vulgar, self-absorbed little man who used the laws of civilized nations to avoid the consequences of his violations of the laws of those same civilized nations. He has probably caused the deaths of innocents because of his loathsome behavior, and he has certain deceived a great many foolish people and cost millions of Euros, pounds and dollars to support him in his indolence. However, the laws he and his toadies scorn mean that he will not be hanged or shot. He will live a long life in a prison or psychiatric unit, grow his beard and his resentments, write a big book in praise of himself, and someday die, perhaps convinced that the water faucet in his room is up to something.

We cannot hate such a man; we can only pity him.

-30-

The Little Bighorn Battlefield Across from the Gas Station - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

The Little Bighorn

A mist, but not of memories or ghosts,
And not a silent mist - a noisy one
Drifts darkly over this altar to the past
The docent pauses for each motor home

Gear-growling up the unexpected slope
Along the road from that point to this one
Well-paved and posted: fifteen miles per hour

For cell-‘phone shots where each historic death
Is marked with stones among the sunlit grass
The docent speaks of her peoples: Cheyenne,
Arapaho, Sioux, and soldier boys blue

With frequent and reflective pauses as
A Winnebago circles Last Stand Hill

Friday, April 12, 2019

How Dogs Domesticated Humans - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

How Dogs Domesticated Humans

For Riley and His Friend Bailey

In the beginning -
                              we humans were primitives
Existing as crude hunter-gatherers
Quite unaware of any higher thought
And curiously unaware of love

But then we were discovered by The Dog

Who taught us the glorious mystery of play
And how to laze throughout sweet summer days
To contemplate, to cuddle, and to care -
To care about beings beyond ourselves

Because we were accepted by The Dog

Through God’s intended, love-barked dialogue
We pray we may be worthy of The Dog

Thursday, April 11, 2019

Words Taking People Out of Context - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Words Taking People Out of Context

It’s not enough that words are taken wrong
Misused and misplaced where they should not be
Cut up and pasted down as thought-traps set
To stop poor pilgrims on their search for truth

But even worse: we push ourselves aside
To follow ephemeral bellowings
In passive obedience to the noises
Of settled senescence posing as youth

It’s not enough that words are taken wrong
But even worse: we push ourselves aside

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

Advice to Young Men Contemplating Matrimony (with cautions about Supersonic Saucepans of Death) - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Advice to Young Men Contemplating Matrimony

If you annoy a Sicilian woman
She will fling herself at you shrieking,
Her hair and eyes wild with rage; she’ll plunge a dagger
Into your heart three times before you fall

And then she’ll spit on your corpse and curse your memory

If you annoy a French woman
She will fling at you a stiletto heel
Or a saucepan (with sauce veloute’, oui!)
Either one will take you down, mon ami

And then she’ll dial a friend for company

If you annoy a Russian woman
She will make a discreet telephone call
And when in spring the ice of the Neva thaws
Your frozen body will at last pop up

And then she’ll write a poem in your memory

If you annoy an English woman
She will smile sweetly, and poison your tea
And as you collapse, gasping desperately for breath
She will smile again, and ask if anything’s wrong

And then she’ll ring for Jeeves to tidy up

Finally:

A Canadian woman (I’m telling no tales)
You mess with her, and you’re bait for the whales!

-fin- (so to speak)

Tuesday, April 9, 2019

Lying is Forbidden Except When it is Mandatory - doggerel

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Lying is Forbidden Except When it is Mandatory

One reads that the dear departed was very
Holy; indeed, he was God’s emissary
Instant sainthood in the mortuary
(One longs to read an honest obituary)

Monday, April 8, 2019

Kevin Costner's THE HIGHWAYMEN - a review

Lawrence Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com

Kevin Costner’s The Highwaymen

The Highwaymen, directed by John Lee Hancock, is a rare movie - it respects the audience.

The story is a quest, with a hero and his loyal follower journeying through the wilds in search of truth. In this story the protagonists are searching for evil to destroy it, and along the way discover truth within themselves.

The wilds are the open spaces of Texas and Oklahoma, and the sad squalor of poverty. John Ford could have filmed it with the same awe and beauty of depth of meaning as John Schwartzman and his crew, but surely no other living cinematographer can match Schwartzman’s art.

The accuracy of the film is a mystery; the shock of the situation obscured the memories of those involved, and their narratives sometimes disagreed, but the makers certainly got two historical matters right: Clyde Barrow and Bonnie Parker were pathological murderers, and the Rangers and other lawmen did the right thing in stopping them.

The film’s characterizations, as in all its other elements, are perfect. Kevin Costner as retired Ranger Frank Hamer is brilliant in his layers of intent, determination, introspection, and occasional but unspoken bewilderment.

Woody Harrelson is not as effective as Maney Gault, though good enough. Honestly, his Gault looks demented most of the time, as if he might want to devour a child, or just howl at a traffic light.

The relationship between Hamer and Gault is seldom harmonious except in action, when they coordinate perfectly through long association.

As Rangers Hamer and Gault remind us of the Byzantine Akritai, borderers loyal to the Empire but resistant to unrealistic controls attempted by the cynical emperor in far-off Constantinople. The borderers protect the people and the state, and the people and the state despise them. This was true in the 11th century, the 20th century, and now.

Kathy Bates as the odious, scheming, treacherous Governor “Ma” Ferguson, is perfect. She is the far-off emperor - in this instance, empress - who wants the state protected but does not like or trust the men who do so. As governor she is a sort of drawling Lady Macbeth - in one scene she viciously humiliates her staff and then instantly, as a door is opened for her, she grins and aw-shucks as she enters a room full of her supporters and money-men. One is reminded of the original Lady Macbeth’s dictum, “…Look like the innocent flower / But be the serpent under’t…” (Macbeth I.vi).

A conversation late in the film between Hamer and Barrow’s father is a gem of cinema thinkfulness - Mr. Barrow loves his son but is honest with himself in realizing that Clyde is no good and must be destroyed. This is Greek tragedy indeed.

Another good use of characterization, in this instance the lack of it, is that we are never close to Bonnie and Clyde. We see them only at distance, save for Bonnie murdering a downed man; we mostly only hear about them.  Like Grendel in Beowulf, who also is never seen, they are more frightening that way.  If we can see an evil, we can then figure out how to overcome it, but the unseen booger in the night is more frightening because we can’t see it and so don’t know have enough information to begin thinking logically about how to overcome it.

And the thoughtful viewer certainly appreciates the consideration of morals and ethics - the mandate about offering murderers and bandits a chance to surrender is clear, but so is the reality that murderers and bandits are not under any such mandate.  But then, if a citizen or police officer skates by a mandate, where does it end?  Who decides?  The film is philosophical in asking that question, developing it, and then not answering it.  The audience must consider how justice and ethics must be served. Part of the film’s excellence is that the characters do not preach at the audience, unlike so many films now that are little more than propaganda.

The ambush scene, filmed in Louisiana where the real one occurred, is tense and brilliant up to a point. The six lawmen who have come together to stop the murderers wait through the night and into the day, growing more stressed and impatient with each other as the hours pass.

The deaths of Barrow and Parker, replaying the absurdity of the worthless 1960s movie, come close to destroying the film. Dead people do not dance about in car seats because dead people don’t dance at all, and in this nonsense the horror of violent human death is reduced to unintentional comedy. This could have been avoided if, as with most of the movie, we are not shown Barrow and Parker, but only the lawmen, and then at a distance.

However, the denouement, the falling action, restores the integrity of the plot, with the Rangers and the local lawmen dealing silently with the emotional consequences of their necessary but violent resolution to the Barrow gang’s murders.

Further, the depiction of the citizens in the small town degenerating into a screaming mob grabbing at the corpses for ghastly souvenirs causes us to ask ourselves: are we worthy of the physical and psychological sacrifices law officers make in our defense, or are we ourselves as savage as the Barrow gang, shedding all decency so easily?

It must be said again: The Highwaymen, directed by John Lee Hancock, is a rare movie - it respects the audience.

A favorite quote, Maney Gault taking care of three Barrow toadies who have menaced him: “Clyde Barrow might be the king, but I’m a Texas Ranger, you little ****.”

Whoop!

-30-

Repudiate Deindividuation for Bipeds - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Repudiate Deindividuation for Bipeds

One should never regret coming away
From any crowd, and certainly not now:
Their loving voices are raised in chants of hate
And their funny hats aren’t funny at all

Their ultimate freedom is the freedom to
Obey with love the loudest loving leader
Who twists their supplicant hands to fists of love
For beating harmony into us all

One will never regret coming away
From any crowd, and certainly not today

Sunday, April 7, 2019

A Sunday Afternoon Dreaming-Rain for You - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

A Sunday Afternoon Dreaming-Rain for You

When streaming rain obscures your window pane
You want to be alone, among your thoughts
And no one knows exactly why that’s so
But yes, you are at peace this afternoon

They say the falling barometric pressure
Makes you sleepy, but the rain knows better
The drowsing rain, it wants to sing to you
And tuck you softly into a dream of love

So close your eyes, and as the little book slips
Onto your lap, the rain sighs with your lips

Saturday, April 6, 2019

"Do Not Touch This Cloud-Dweller" - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

“Do Not Touch This Cloud-Dweller”

-attributed to Stalin
in a note forbidding the arrest of Boris Pasternak

Stalin and Caesar had no use for dreamers
Stern men of destiny prefer strong tools
To execute their leader’s will, and yet
They cry and beg when they are eventually shot

Cloud-dwellers camouflage themselves with words
And shift their sails but not their souls, and keep
Their little ships on course straight to the stars
Straight on until the dawn they help to light

Courage is in your dreams and words and works
May it please God that Stalin has no use

For you

Friday, April 5, 2019

I've Voof Woof to Thuf Dentigh, Muhkay? - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

I’ve Voof Woof to Thuf Dentith, Muhkay?

Ive been to the dentist

She gave ma a happy pill ME a happy pill, not Ma a happy pill

Tree frogs are my favotire amphibians there so cute ya wanna buy them an ice cream but there aint no bug ice scream

Yes I’m fine than k you

Gosh this is still fun

And they gave me a new toothbrush although I use the super-golly-gee-whiz-quadro-toothbrush-thing-that-lights-up-and-stuff

Yes the pill is wearing off sure wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Why do they all put their hands in my mouth at the same time

Lets see thats four hands

And then they yell at me to relax

But yeah I got a pill qnd I am sooooooooooooooooooo relaxed
My teeth are fine

My teeth are green no wait my teeth or clean because if they were green they wouldn’t be clean

Dr. Joyce is the best

There’s still something to be said for tree frogs

Yes I can walk to the car whoops

Yes I can opine the passenger door

Yes I can belt my seat fashion

Or somethingthis has been fun

Thank you yes six monyhsts…

Thursday, April 4, 2019

Decolonize This Label! - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Decolonize This Label 
 
Upon Reading a Patronizing Review of Ferlinghetti’s Little Boy

The only problem with the Proletariat
Is obeying the pretentious asses that
Insist on calling us the Proletariat -

Resist their Insist!

For I will not be labeled by some artsy-crat

Wednesday, April 3, 2019

For the Sonic Waitress Who Wish Me a Blessed Day and Stole My Change - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

For the Sonic Waitress Who Wished Me a Blessed Day
and Stole My Change

I was just passing through
You didn’t know me; I didn’t know you
But I should have known you’d steal from me
When you told me to Have a Blessed Day

You never came back with the change
And that is sad. We have come to accept the lies
Of praychurs, presidents, and prime ministers
But one expects better of Sonic waitresses

And you told me to have a blessed day

So you’re 40 cents to the bad, that’s true
But I’ve got the dollar I was going to tip you

And, hey, y’all have a blessed day, y’hear?

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

"I Know Where the Door Is, You Little Police Academy Dropout!" - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

A Secretary-Receptionist Faces the Future -
“I Know Where the Door Is, You Little Police Academy Dropout!”

The name on the building changed again today
I must apply for my own job, they say
A smarmer wants more work for much less pay
It’s time to reconstruct my resume’

I once was great with videotape and film
And could type fifty-five words a minute
On an IBM Selectric; my skills are dim
The boy-boss taps on a plastic box - what’s in it?

For forty years I ruled the company’s ground floor -
Security, with a sneer, shows me the door

Monday, April 1, 2019

Whisper Your Area 51 - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Whisper Your Area 51

“Russian Aircraft Flies Over Area 51…”

-U.K. Daily Mail, 31 March 2019

Each of us is an Area 51
In hiding from a psychic bombing run
Behind the barbed-wire fences of our senses
Beneath the radar of our consequences

Our secrets are so secret that even we
Don’t know what they might be, could be, will be
Because the slide-rule calculating hearts
Can only slip between odd-numbered parts

Each of us is an Area 51
Playing hide-and-go-seek
                                                   but not for fun

Sunday, March 31, 2019

A Luddite and His Timex Watch - weekly column

Lawrence Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com

Watch Out!

Some millionaire on the a.m. radio was pitying himself the other day: his expensive, high-tech, high-tone Fruit™ watch (or was it a vegetable watch?) wasn’t acting right, wouldn’t hold a charge, and had to be re-programmed every day until tech support (or Tech Support) worked their magic on it.

Mr. Millionaire, meet the $10 Timex. Oops - it’s up to $24 now. My Timex, which “takes a licking and keeps on ticking,” as John Cameron Swayze used to say, cost only $10 at Giganto-Mart, but that was years ago.

A Timex needs no programming; all you do is re-set it twice a year for the semi-annual fall-fully-forward-spring-latch-back-attack thing.

The basic Timex watch is soooooooooooooo uncool. A Timex will not impress your date. A Timex will not impress your beagle. A Timex is redolent of the pool room, not the board room. A discriminating mugger will sneer at a Timex with the same contempt he once demonstrated for the Ford Fiesta. A Timex does not speak of elegance, guess your height and weight, tell you the future, measure the deterioration of your liver, or calculate the decay of the planet’s orbit around the sun. All a Timex does is show you the time with two little pointers, also known as hands, although they aren’t really hands. We just call them hands, you see.

Clever people, those Chinese, to have invented such a cheap and reliable way of telling time. Not that time will listen to what you tell it.

A Timex comes in a variety of colors and straps, and some variations are named Expedition™ and Iron Man™ and such, plain little ol’ watches that have watched too many Rambo movies and have costumed themselves in dime-store camouflage and outfitted themselves with itty-bitty Russian Kalashnikovs.

When the battery in a Timex wears out, you can usually replace it yourself. Just unscrew the back, drop the battery, note the number, and go to the drug store for a replacement. This is needful only every two or three years, sometimes longer.

A watch should not need programming. Nor should a radio or a teevee set or a telephone, but the STEMinstas will not have it that when you buy something it should simply work. Oh, no; now you must read books and access sites and give strangers your credit card numbers and a snapshot of your passport in order to validate and start up a gadget for which you have already paid.

I suppose next we’ll have to program our pocket knives and fountain pens. A carpenter roofing in the hot sun might have to knock off work for an hour to access a spiderwebsite and purchase a yearly update for his hammer. Screwdrivers might need occasional re-programming. And don’t get me started on the complications of electronic 2 x 4s.

Young people might find adapting to a wristwatch of any kind a challenge. Instead of automatically reaching into a pocket or purse for the MePhone to check the time they would have to learn how to swing an arm out and up to read the little dial. And, yes, they’d have to figure out what “hands” are and how to work out the time from the hands’ positions.

But then, wearing a watch at all, even a Timex, might enhance a young man or woman’s coolness factor: “Hey, Heather-Misty-Dakota-Shane, what’s that neat-looking thing on your wrist? I’ve got to get me one!”

Well, as they say in that old movie in which James Arness plays a giant, carnivorous carrot, “Watch the skies!”

-30-

William Shakespeare Murdered Edward deVere in the Library with the Pipe Wrench - hardly a poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

William Shakespeare Murdered Edward deVere in
the Library with the Pipe Wrench

Of course one asks what was the library doing
With a pipe wrench.

-The End-

Saturday, March 30, 2019

I Lit a Candle for You at Mass, Only I Didn't - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

I Lit a Candle for You - Only I Didn’t


Before the Mass I went to light for you
A Penny Candle (it’s a Looney now)
And with it send a prayer up through the air
Throughout the liturgy, into the night

But, oh, how sad that it could not be so
For all the little paper matches were damp
And all I have to offer you today
Are heaps of cardboard strips in a little tray

But even so: within my heart, you know
There is for you forever a votive glow


(Looney - a Canadian dollar, but of course one needn’t put in a coin at all)

Friday, March 29, 2019

About Those University Admission Bribes... - rhyming doggerel

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

A Temporary, Part-Time, Adjunct Faculty Instructor of No Significance Whatsoever at a Little Cinder-Block Community College Unknown to Anyone Beyond the Interstate Bypass Asks the Most Important Question About Admissions Bribery


Oh, please forgive this seeming diatribe
But I am one of the scrivening tribe
A poor Chaucerian scholar, a scribe

Who asks

Why doesn’t anyone offer me a bribe?

Thursday, March 28, 2019

Does This Lumberjack Shirt Make My Pajama Bottom Look Big? - rhyming doggerel

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Does This Lumberjack Shirt Make My Pajama Bottom Look Big?

“Men Ditch Suits, and Retailers Struggle to Adapt”

-Wall Street Journal, 25 March 2019

We all must be good comrades now
We all must wear good comradewear
As if we worked with wrench and plough
Instead of cruising an office chair

We all must be good comrades, da!
And from one’s well-lit office space
Sneer at “the suits” - so long, Grandpa!
And so decolonise this place

We all must be good comrades now -
But have you ever milked a cow?

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

0400 at Denny's Along the Interstate - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

0400 at Denny’s Along the Interstate

A line cook at Denny’s (must have own pans)
Is an artist, accomplished in assemblage
Compositions of eggs (rather like Cezanne’s)
Toast, bacon, waffles for his decoupage

His gesso is the window layered in steam
Built of reflections and condensation
Hinting at the flowing Interstate stream
Beyond the No Smoking pumping station

The line cook has indeed his pans and plans -
Art, as the muse of cookery commands

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Morning Courage - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Morning Courage

Some have said that the bravest thing we do
Is to get up each morning and face the dawn
It may be so. The light is grey and cold
There seem to be no reasons to go on

And yet - the morning sun begins to kiss
The sensitive, delicate springtime leaves
Turning their own hopes to the morning sun
Stretching their chloroplasts awake to life

So even as sunlight embraces the tree
So maybe there will be kisses - we’ll see!

Monday, March 25, 2019

A Hasty Partisan Response to the Mueller Report - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

A Hasty Partisan Response to the Mueller Report

“And art made tongue-tied by authority”

-Sonnet 66, often quoted by Pasternak

The Russian reports on my desk include:

Selected Poems, Yevtushenko
The Possessed, Dostoyevsky
The Zhivago Affair, Finn and Couvee
The Complete Poems of Anna Ahkmatova
August 1914, Solzhenitsyn


And some of them unread, some of them read
And better read than red, so someone said
Some of them shelved (We and The House of the Dead)
But now I’m going to work the flower bed

And what century is it outside? 1


1 Pasternak

Sunday, March 24, 2019

A Sidewalk Artist Who Knows Who You Were - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

A Sidewalk Artist Who Knows Who You Were

“He is a dreamer; let us leave him – pass.” Julius Caesar I.ii.24

Strident philosophers at Hyde Park Corner
Poor buskers at Queen Victoria’s feet
Chalk artists remaking the pavement as Rome
A Seventh Sister with her folk guitar

These are not dreamers passive in their beds
Or supplicants awaiting permission:
They are the worker bees; they know of pain
And sweat, and sunstroke in the fields - and truth

When a sidewalk artist notes that the Ides
Have come, Caesar indeed should turn to hear

Saturday, March 23, 2019

A Moment of Byronic Arrogance - rhyming triplet

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

A Moment of Byronic Arrogance

Whether I am on the right side of history
Is a fantasy and an irrelevancy -
History had better be on the right side of me

Friday, March 22, 2019

Across the Cemetery Fence - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com


Across the Cemetery Fence

Hart-Bevil Cemetery, Tyler County, Texas


From service as Companions of the Conqueror
To the democracy of death and dust


This was family land in the long ago
Now alienated from the living
Accessible through permissions and locks
But we and the ghosts are okay with that

They say that only four of them were hanged
The dealer in false deeds died of old age
Some possibly were saints; hard to believe
For after all, we are de Beauville’s kin

From Normandy, and then green Chesterton
And then dispersed to the colonies
At the convenience of His Majesty
De Beauvilles and Bevilles and then Bevils

And some are buried on this lonely knoll
Dim mossy bones and stones among the pines
Across the fence a little heap of glass
Broken flower vases from the dime store


Now the democracy of dust and death
But once
                     Companions of the Conqueror

Thursday, March 21, 2019

The Select Committee for Something or Other Meets in Market Basket #3 - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

The Select Committee for Something or Other
Meets in Market Basket #3

We have no fine old paneling of oak
No ancient silver on a sideboard new
When Charles the First still wore his handsome head
We have no Latin, we may not smoke, but still -

Between the cinder blocks and coffee urn
Dining upon the finest plastic foam
We laugh at yarns that Saint Augustine thought
Well out of date when Africa lost Rome

We have no fine old paneling of oak
But every day we share a fine old joke

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

A Young Wasp in Spring - Appropriate Respect for Life Forms - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

A Young Wasp in Spring

The spring morning was chill when from its nest
A young wasp fell, helpless and young
Upon the ground, needing the warmth of the sun
To spread its tiny dragon’s wings into new life

A creature of God, needing only an hour
To gain its strength, and so to live the life
Destined for it, its appointed mission
In the unknowable Plan of Creation

It seemed to beg for mercy with each desperate breath
And so with great care I crushed it to death

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Saint Joseph's Day - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com


Saint Joseph the Just

Saint Joseph in a dreary winter night
Took to himself a newborn not his own,
Who yet is always his, the Child of Light
Whose crib Saint Joseph knew to be a throne

Saint Joseph shows men truth: each child is ours,
Adopted by each good man upon birth;
True fatherhood ordained in starlit hours
And ratified in Heaven and on earth.

Saint Joseph is the man who looked into
The eyes of Mary in her happy youth;
This strong man looked into her eyes and knew
She bore within her all eternal Truth.

Our witness is Saint Joseph, ever just:
God calls each man to take each child in trust.

Monday, March 18, 2019

Mission Beach and a Blue Bikini - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Mission Beach and a Blue Bikini

Your grandmother and I are the only ones
Who listen still to Rod McKuen, and dream
Of Mission Beach ‘way back in ‘68
Or maybe not so far back after all

The sands still sing of sea and salt and seals
There are no watchful clocks to time our hopes
No calendars to tell us we are old
As we slow dance to a tiny transistor

But not with each other, not any more
For I had my orders, and she had hers

Sunday, March 17, 2019

The Porch Light Flickers in Parental Disapproval - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

The Porch Light Flickers in Parental Disapproval

Sweet music on the Mustang’s radio
We’re sitting in her parents’ driveway

And sort of talking about the movie
And sort of talking about poetry and life

Frost is settling on the hood of the car
But all is warm in our bubble of love

Until

Our kiss is interrupted by the flickering
Of the parental, watchful front porch light

We sigh. We kiss. The censorial eye -
It orders me away - “That’s all! Bye-bye!”

(Oh, flick that porch light anyway!)

Saturday, March 16, 2019

A Contemporary Vocabulary fro Writers and Artists - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

A Contemporary Vocabulary for Writers and Artists

As culled from an art magazine, 13 March 2019
 
Socialist Realism - The official doctrine in Soviet art and literature after 1932 that evolved from the traditional commitment to social and civic concerns into an all-pervasive general ideological mandate.
 
-Yevgeny Yevtushenko, 20th Century Russian Poetry

collective exhibition space vibe community
interactive narrative brown neighborhood
defined commodified Indigenous
identity tone-deaf decolonial
narratives populist intertwined
exhibition curatorial vision
culture local artists arts district small galleries
DIY spaces speaking out against
gentrification displacing shelter
studio space elsewhere late stage capitalism
collective mantra underdog art savior
corporate entity partnering insensitive
ignorant collective brown people art
contemporary work that may not fit
into establishment art galleries
media advisory venture collaborate
creative community authentic
local statement of expression excitement
creative energy arts district project
many levels collaborate local
creative important creative
community what that collaboration
looks like ongoing local artists going
to be engaged in planning commissioned
project community buy-in consulted
members of the creative community
Indigenous artists curators museum
directors professors burgeoning landscape
cultural framework critique talk individuals
entities inclusivity open
dialogue opportunities project
conversations collaboration discuss
your projects share our work with you
common ground work together healthy sustainable
accountable decolonization

Friday, March 15, 2019

The 15th of March, 1917 - poem (from last year)

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

The 15th of March, 1917

On this dark day, this evil day, this day
In a railway carriage on a branch line
Three hundred years of civilization
And millions of lives, three generations
Were signed away with a few penned words
In a railway carriage on a branch line
On this dark day, this evil day, this day




(2 March 1917 O.S.)

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Texas Standard Time - WHOOP! - weekly column

Lawrence Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com

Texas Standard Time - Whoop!

Our Texas State Representative, James White, has proposed a constant Texas Standard Time independent of any other time ordered by any other state or by any federal agency. This is a fine idea.

Like Texans themselves (except for some of the in-laws over in Newton County), Texas Standard Time would be steady and dependable. People everywhere, when asked the time, would check their custom Texas A & M watches and say, “Well, I’m not sure about here, but in Texas it’s half-past Bevo…”

Texas Standard Time would be the standard for the world. In Greenwich the Royal Observatory would be shut down and a memorial plaque posted on the door as a remembrance of when Greenwich Mean Time meant something.

I know that Representative White is anxious to hear my suggestions in the matter of Texas Standard Time, and so I make the follow suggestions for designating Texas State Hours:



Midnight - As Mickey Gilley says, the girls get prettier at closing time.

0100 - Goodnight, Moon. Say, that would make a great book title.

0200 - All-night truckers and shift-workers reach for another cuppa coffee.

0300 - Reveille, reveille, reveille! Rise and shine! It’s a great day to serve the United States Navy! Or, better yet, the Texas Navy. Coffee.

0400 - Time for some to get up and go milk the cows. Coffee.

0500 - Time for others to get up and get ready for work at the shop or the office. Coffee.

0600 - Get the kidlets ready for school with a real breakfast. The naughtiest of the kidlets will, on the way out the door, present Mom with a teacher-note to be signed. Coffee.

0700 - The Belle-Jim on the courthouse square in Jasper serves breakfast and enlightening conversation that Plato and Socrates might envy. There’s a sales cold-call from some crook piggybacking on a local telephone number. Coffee.

0800 - The school-zone flashers switch off; however, beware the Mad Momma turning into elementary school driveway on two wheels without any lights or turn signals, with a cell ‘phone in one hand, a bottle of that Fuji water in the other, and yelling at the kids in the back seat. There’s a sales cold-call from some crook piggybacking on a local telephone number. Coffee.

0900 - There’s a sales cold-call from some crook piggybacking on a local telephone number. Coffee.

1000 - the public library opens for the day. There’s a sales cold-call from some crook piggybacking on a local telephone number. Coffee.

1100 - Clients and customers are waiting impatiently. There’s a sales cold-call from some crook piggybacking on a local telephone number. Iced tea (pronounced “icetea”).

1200 - You’d like to go for lunch, but the boss says… There’s a sales cold-call from some crook piggybacking on a local telephone number. Iced tea.

1300 - There’s a sales cold-call from some crook piggybacking on a local telephone number. Iced tea.

1400 - There’s a sales cold-call from some crook piggybacking on a local telephone number. Dang, this iced tea is old.

1500 - This is the hour you desperately need a cup of coffee but the guys and gals who seem to hang out by the coffee machine all day drank it all. There’s a sales cold-call from some crook piggybacking on a local telephone number.

1600 - Time to milk the cows again. There’s a sales cold-call from some crook piggybacking on a local telephone number. Fresh iced tea.

1700 - “Junior, do you have any homework?” There’s a sales cold-call from some crook piggybacking on a local telephone number. Iced tea.

1800 - “Missie, do you have any homework?” There’s a sales cold-call from some crook piggybacking on a local telephone number. Iced tea.

1830. The Wheel. There’s a sales cold-call from some crook piggybacking on a local telephone number. Iced tea.

1900 - There’s a sales cold-call from some crook piggybacking on a local telephone number. Iced tea.

2000 - In a civilized world, Gunsmoke would air on CBS. Someone’s used all the hot water. There’s a sales cold-call from some crook piggybacking on a local telephone number.

2100 - So the dog isn’t quite house-trained after all. There’s a sales cold-call from some crook piggybacking on a local telephone number.

2200 - “Mom! Would you help me with this homework I forgot?” There’s a sales cold-call from some crook piggybacking on a local telephone number.

2300 - What? Are you still up?

All funnin’ aside, we are blessed in our state representative, James White; our state senator, Robert Nichols; our U.S. Representative, Brian Babin; and our U.S. senator, John Cornyn. I’ll say something nice about Senator Cruz after he shaves. Dang, Ted, what are you thinking?

-30-

A Less-Than-Universal Declaration of the Wrongs of Man - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

A Less-Than-Universal Declaration of the Wrongs of Man

To make the worship of a state the source
Of all the aspirations of a man
Of all his duties and of all his arts
Is not to be a man or artist at all

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Penguins and Oxford Blues - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Penguins and Oxford Blues

Poor sailors and poor students parse the past
Between the paper covers of poor Penguins
Poor crumbling pages and crumbling civilizations
Held together with rubber bands and Scotch tape

And when in middle age The City of God
At last succumbs to the barbarians of time
A fresh one is built up in Oxford blue
By Vivian Ridler, who saved for us the words

And yet - the arguments of several Romes
Were somehow fresher at $3.75

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

"The F*g with the Bow Tie" - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

“The F*g with the Bow Tie” 1

“Only in Russia is poetry respected – it gets people killed.
Is there anywhere else where poetry is so common a motive for murder?”

-Osip Mandelstam 2

Spain. Poetry got people killed in Spain -
And still wherever tyrants of delicate nerves
And artistic sensitivities hear
Whispered rumors of whispered disapproval

And so an innocent, fearful and trembling
Must be motored away to a moonless death
Upon orders spoken, written, tweeted
Telephoned, telegraphed, or teletyped

One prays he has a moment to adjust his tie
Perfectly - as an honor to Poetry




1 The slur is attributed to Federico Garcia Lorca’s murderers:
https://lithub.com/dictators-kill-poets-on-federico-garcia-lorcas-last-days/

2 Quoted by Yevgeny Yevtushenko in 20th Century Russian Poetry

Monday, March 11, 2019

The Flight of iMet-4 #21598 - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

The Flight of iMet-4 #21598

There is perhaps a certain indignity
In grounding back on earth among some weeds
Your late balloon a fragment of itself
Your parachute all damp and limp and still

But, oh! what an adventure you have lived!
Scuffy the Tugboat might well envy you
Your day and night in scientific flight
With helium instead of pixie dust

Like Peter Pan you sailed along the wind
Straight on until morning, then home again

Sunday, March 10, 2019

Billy Possum Destroys the Bird Feeder (again) - rhyming doggerel (or possumerrel)

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Billy Possum Destroys the Bird Feeder in the Night

(Again)

That climbing ratitude
In nightly interlude
And moral turpitude
Eats all the birdy-food

(I haven’t thought up an appropriate amphimacer [yes, I had to look that up] “ude” rhyme for the destruction of a bird feeder, but if I do it will go here)

Thus shows his gratitude
Oh! What an attitude!
I speak with acritude
Thus ends this platitude


For the true adventures of Billy Possum, see Thornton W. Burgess’ wonderful Mother West Wind stories.


Saturday, March 9, 2019

"Only the Solitary Seek the Truth" - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Workers of the World, Untie

“Every herd is a refuge for giftlessness…Only the solitary seek the truth,
and they break with all those who don't love it sufficiently.”

― Boris Pasternak, Doctor Zhivago

You cannot write with your fist clenched in hate
You cannot sing with a conscripted voice
You cannot dance if you are made to march
You cannot love if your heart is not free

You cannot think if they slogan your mind
You cannot play if they deny your joy
You cannot dream if they program your spirit
You cannot pray if they poison your soul

You are an artist, a seeker of truth:
And no one should finish this line for you

Friday, March 8, 2019

The Happy Killer Who Dug The Lovin' Spoonful - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

The Happy Killer Who Dug The Lovin’ Spoonful

Caught in the net of conscription, most of us
Some joining up before being press-ganged
Why wait to be pushed into your own death
When you can push yourself, and wonder why

An E-4 not yet thirty - we called him Pops
A curly-haired kid named Skip - his head blown off
That Army guy who let go of the boat and drowned
The happy killer who dug The Lovin’ Spoonful

Caught in the net of conscription, most of us
Along with Miss March, withering in the heat

Thursday, March 7, 2019

My Weather Balloon - column

Lawrence Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com

It Fell From the Skies!

But don’t worry - the “it” was an iMet-4 radiosonde, tethered to a nifty parachute, and at a few ounces it would hardly have disturbed a flower petal.

Early on Sunday morning I, y’r ‘umble rustic scrivener, found a little parachute alongside a country road. The parachute had a harness and a line dangling, and atop it a burst balloon. I followed the line into the weeds, expecting to find a weather service device, a little camera, or a science experiment.

In the event, it was two of the three, a little plastic box on which was lettered “IF FOUND, PLEASE CALL (XXX-XXX-XXXX).” On the other side the maker’s label read “iMet-4” and “InterMet Systems.” Alongside the label was a row of indicators marked “402MHz” to “405Mx,” and a button for setting the frequency. On top was a connector of some sort and the attachment for the lanyard. On the bottom protruded a six-inch flexible antenna.

The parachute was of a very tight weave; from it was suspended a blue plastic ring built to accept the attachment of various scientific instruments.

Finally, there was a burst balloon. When the balloon failed, everything floated gently down to the weeds along my road.

The concept of the radiosonde dates from the 1930s, and was invented simultaneously in the USA and in the unfortunate Soviet Union.

This particular model, from International Met Systems of Grand Rapids, Michigan, measures temperature, humidity, air pressure, geopotential height (I don’t know what that means), wind speed, and wind direction, and sends this information constantly to its receiving station.

And while we were asleep this particular I-Met 4 spent the night in the silences high above the ground, swinging from its balloon while sniffing the air and feeling the wind and thinking happy electronic thoughts.

Dr. Don Conlee of God’s University, Texas A & M, sent me an electrical note thanking me for its recovery, and added: “We are involved in an experiment to better understand tornadoes in the SE U.S., and have been launching quite frequently of late.”

Given the deadly nature of tornadoes, we can all be grateful to Dr. Conlee, his students, and his fellow scientists for launching this little gadget and all its little electronic classmates from Easterwood Field in College Station to acquire knowledge that will save lives.

Dr. Conlee continued: “If you have a convenient way to return it to us…at A & M…that would be great. If not, I would suggest that you see if a local middle school or high school science teacher would like to take it, along with my contact information, and we can see how they might use it in the classroom to talk about weather/physics/etc.”

And so it was agreed. I have a young friend who teaches science and will take charge of the radiosonde for her students, and Dr. Conlee will send her and her students “…information about the launch, pictures of the data it collected, and maps that will be interesting.” Thus, the radiosonde will have contributed to civilization twice, first in the acquisition of knowledge that will help save lives, and then again through the intellectual enrichment of the young.

And that is The Aggie Way. Whoop!

When I was a lad I enjoyed science (until in the higher grades teachers messed it up with mathematics), and I would have had that single, tempting phillips screw out as soon as I could open up my Swiss Army Knife to see if there were any tiny little Martians aboard.

As it was, in my responsible old age I did not take the machine apart, though I did put it to my ear to listen for any secrets being beamed back out to space. It was silent, and there were no Martians.

Sigh.

Despite the intrusion of mathematics (maths are not in the Bible, you know), science is both useful and fun.

In this instance the radiosonde, its rigging, the blue plastic ring, the poofy parachute, and the balloon were also quite pretty. I wish I had seen them floating down through the sky because, as Blaise Pascal says, “the heart has its reasons, which the mind knows not.”

-30-



Be a Manly Catholic Man (Your Major Credit Card Welcome)

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

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“Church? It's a shop! Salvation by the shilling!”

-Will Roper to Thomas More in A Man for All Seasons


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And somewhere there’s possibly a pizza,
A Manly Catholic Man ™® Combat™® Rosary™®,
and a manly group hug

Wednesday, March 6, 2019

My School of Thought - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

My School of Thought

We’ve heard of schools of thought for ideas sought -
Philosophy, history, music, and art -
Where everyone agrees that they are all smart
So I would like to build my own school of thought:

In the mornings the children will raise my flag
And all will pledge true allegiance to me
And in class children will look up to see
My thoughtful image, and they will brag

How everyone now thinks as I say they ought:
And that, dear friends, is my own school of thought!

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Diskos et Calyx - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Diskos et Calyx

The universe spirals through its starlit dance
Creation spins around, in, and down
Eternity circles the paten and cup

Miraculum

Eternity circles the paten and cup
Around and out and up, Creation spins
Through its starlit dance the universe spirals

Monday, March 4, 2019

Cooperating with the Feds in Exchange for Immunity - Limerick

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Cooperating with the Feds in Exchange for Immunity
(and a book deal)


Dear Feds:

I wish to apply for immunity
Though I have done nothing with impunity
Show me how to conspire
So that I might acquire
Largess from the working community

Sincerely,

Lawrence Hall

Sunday, March 3, 2019

There Are Only Two Dreams - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

There Are Only Two Dreams

There are only two dreams: freedom and love
And if you wake exiled from Eden again
From a moment of exquisite happiness
Your dream was wonderfully, happily true

There are only two dreams: freedom and love
Any other topic is not a dream
But only the clamorings of others
Demanding always a piece of your soul

There are only two dreams: freedom and love -
Tears mean only that you must wait awhile

Saturday, March 2, 2019

The Sorceress of Santarem - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

The Sorceress of Santarem

Whatever happened to the sorceress?
The narratives leave her story unresolved -
Upon the Altar reposes the sacred Host
Before the Altar kneel graced penitents

But did the sorceress find mercy too
Or does she still cringe in her crusted cave
In a gully before the rubbish fires
Whose incense is the writhing smoke of Hell

Whatever happened to her life of blight -
Was she too wakened by that same true Light?





Suggested by a thought in a letter from Fr. Raphael Barousse, OSB

Friday, March 1, 2019

Looking for Something in a Burning Street

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol

Looking for Something in a Burning Street

He was looking for something in a burning street
Among blown wreckage and necrotic smoke
Among the drifting ashes and debris
Alone among grey-morning-crumbling stones

He later could not remember much of it
Among the empty greyness - were there dead?
Among the silences where screams had flown
Alone among accusers who weren’t there

“Don’t look for it. Go into solitude.
Don’t look for it. It will be found for you.”

Thursday, February 28, 2019

Emerging Writers - poem

Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com

Emerging Writers

One reads of emerging writers
But from what do they emerge?

Wombs?
Tombs?
Rooms?

Cells?
Wells?
Shells?

Sins?
Bins?
Tins?

Canada?

So go ahead; emerge away
Then tell us what you have to say