Monday, May 16, 2022

Corporate-Speak Inquisitors Meet with the Faithful - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Corporate-Speak Inquisitors Meet with the Faithful

 

They do not wear dark robes or sinister hoods

Nor even Roman collars with their Izod shirts

In fetching pastel shades of harmlessness

They rule with legal pads and plastic pens

 

They question us about our parish and priest

And rattle the matter of closing the church

Though it’s difficult to take seriously pasty old men

Who seem to be a bench of Miss Marples

 

They do not wear dark robes or sinister hoods

But menace us with evasive can’ts and coulds

Sunday, May 15, 2022

Yes, There was a Manifesto - weekly column, 5.15.2022

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

mhall46184@aol.com

 

Yes, There was a Manifesto

 

In the midst of a world of light and love, of song and feast and dance, he could find nothing to think of more interesting than his own prestige.

 

-C. S. Lewis, A Preface to Paradise Lost

 

This scribble began as a consideration of the sad sack of s(lop) – hardly a man – who murdered mostly elderly shoppers and a stand-up retired police officer.

 

Aaron Salter, Jr., 55 and recently retired after thirty years with the Buffalo, New York police, surely understood that with only a pistol he would not probably survive his defense of his fellow Americans against an orc wearing body armor and armed with a .556 semi-automatic rifle.

 

There are still heroes among us, and Officer Salter was one of them.

 

In the event, last weekend featured numerous other murders and woundings of ordinary Americans by other Americans in church, at sports events, and at community festivities. No other nation needs to bother attacking us; we’re destroying ourselves.

 

The speculations we all still have about the sad sack of s(lop) murdering old people in a supermarket extend now to all the sad sacks of s(sop) who, in a world of possibilities, found nothing more to do with their weekend than compensate for their inadequacies by shooting unarmed people.

 

Let us anchor the discussion in the first orc:

 

Grandpa’s old single-shot for rabbit hunting and secured with a trigger lock with the key kept by Dad when not in use – we get that; it’s a piece of Americana.  But a semi-automatic rifle in a combat calibre and a G. I. Joe dress-up play-soldier suit – that’s pathological.

 

About the wannabe soldier thing - did he make the first day of recruit training? Or did he just know about video games?

 

Did he ever consider joining the volunteer fire department or some other worthy cause?

 

Did he play football, join the band, belong to the FFA, take a shop class, join the Scouts, help with the little kids at Sunday School, or belong to a club?

 

Did he ever have a job – sack boy, fast-food, mechanic’s helper, anything? Who paid for the three weapons he is reported to have been carrying? And the body armor? That’s not cheap.

 

Did he ever mow the yard?

 

Could he cook a simple meal?

 

Did he ever help wash dishes, vacuum the floors, wash the windows, or do the laundry?

 

Did he ever change the oil and hit the lube points in a tractor, pickup truck, or car?

 

Did he ever help build fence? Did he even know what a carpenter’s hammer is for?

 

Did he ever wrestle a rotor-tiller around the garden?

 

Did he ever have to take care of little brothers and sisters?

 

Did he ever question the illogical, immoral, and unscientific race theories fed to him?

 

If you were to ask him about his favorite book, would the response be a blank stare or even a sneer of disapproval?

 

Did he have a purpose, a life-plan, a cause beyond whatever nonsense was programmed into his little brain from the InterGossip?

 

In the end, it’s not that we ask such questions about him; we ask them about ourselves and about how we raise our children and grandchildren.

 

Peace.

 

-30-

A Few Kind Thoughts for Roman Soldiers - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

A Few Kind Thoughts for Roman Soldiers

 

If you have stood your watch throughout the night

To guard a clothesline of national importance

Dug foxholes only to fill them up again

And then patrolled through long days in the heat

 

If you have enjoyed Cinderella Liberty

And talking about poetry and girls

With a few mates down at the coffee shop

Because that’s all your poor pay can afford

 

You will then understand the conscript guards

Posted to keep order on Calvary

Saturday, May 14, 2022

A Pasty Boy in Knee-Pantsies Lectures on the Supremacy of Gun Ownership Over Access to Baby Formula - doggerel

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

A Pasty Boy in Knee-Pantsies

Lectures on the Supremacy of Gun Ownership

Over Access to Baby Formula

 

You say our baby’s starving?

Don’t bother me with that

As long as I got me my gun

To rat-a-tat-tat!

Friday, May 13, 2022

Leaving the Party Early for Some Fresh Air and a Smoke - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Leaving the Party Early for Some Fresh Air and a Smoke

 

Our host was oozy one moment, threatening the next

The drinks were watery, the hors d’oeuvres nothing more

Than pigs in blankets of cruelties and cliches

Among guests likely to call them horse doovers

 

Through the bottom of my glass I could see

Only a few weak industrial fizzings

Recirculating from Tammany Hall until now

Pasting new labels over unoriginal sins

 

Unoriginal sins to file and shelve -

I left the Party in 2012

Thursday, May 12, 2022

An After-Market Warranty for my Catholic Space Laser - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

An After-Market Warranty for my Catholic Space Laser

 

“...tremulous little people of dim intellect and hyperactive imagination...need that Wondrous Explanation that will quiet all their fears, thrill them with villains to revile, and never tax their feeble powers of intellection.”

 

-John D. MacDonald, Reading for Survival

 

The Great Texas Emu Bubble, crop circles

Power crystals, cryptocurrency

Jewish space lasers, messages from Q

Lizard people abducted by aliens

 

Enron, obey the science, the settled science

Chloroquine, tulips, herd immunity

Your Norton has expired, buy magic beans

Invoice #666 needs to be paid today

 

Your uncle in Nigeria is in lots of trouble

And don’t forget the South Sea Bubble

Wednesday, May 11, 2022

The March of the Triumphalist Electrons - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

The March of the Triumphalist Electrons

 

“Forward, Electronics, your victory’s achieved!

   In all communications, progress is our creed!”

 

-Communist youth song in

Solzhenitsyn’s “For the Good of the Cause”

 

In all obedience learn to code, to code

For in obeying orders you think for yourself

And rebel by chanting and clenching your fist

As an individual just like everyone else

 

Now burn your poems, your notebooks, and your pens

And slaughter your thoughts wherever they hide

We will send you your soul through a little screen

Unisize, unisex, one soul fits all

 

And then, like Moloch and Herod, turn your wild eyes

Your burning eyes

Upon your children

Tuesday, May 10, 2022

Monday, May 9, 2022

Is "Poetess" Acceptable? - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

 

Is “Poetess” Acceptable?

 

But of course

Just take it

And wake it

Remake it

 

Empower it

And it’s yours

Sunday, May 8, 2022

Who Possesses a Poem? - poem (and a poem about poetry is a bit like Ouroboros)

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Who Possesses a Poem?

 

Just as a father passes on to his child

The popular music of his long-lost youth

A teacher passes on to those in his care

The ‘way-cool poetry of his own lost youth

 

Where once we hid McKuen behind Millay

Young people today hide – but we don’t know what they hide

That is the nature of hiding and hidden

But they’re hiding something, and that’s good

 

We celebrated the verse of our youth

For youth celebrate their own private verse

An Essential American Institution - weekly column, 5.8.2022

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

An Essential American Institution

 

The American people may speak (or shriek) about the three branches of the government as essential for defending the people and the Constitution of our Republic, and they’d be right. They may speak of the power of our Navy and those other services, the pediments of power in our electoral systems from the precinct to the federal, our various courts, the genius of our Bill of Rights (ALL of those rights), and the willingness of some, not nearly all, Americans to sacrifice for the greater good. And they’d be right about all that too.

 

I think, though, that we tend to ignore that bastion of popular sovereignty, the rustic yet majestic institution of the country store.

 

The senators of Rome met among marble splendor, and the senators of our nation meet in luxurious offices paneled in expensive wood and once in a while in their softly-carpeted, well-lit, air-conditioned Chamber.

 

But at its core our democracy (yeah, yeah, I know, republic, but the voting is democratic) meets first and most effectively on the wooden-planked porch of the old-time country store beneath that great symbol of our freedom, a metal NEHI sign, with a Pepsi-Cola thermometer nailed next to the door and a solitary gas pump out front.

 

The wise ones in our capitol meet to discuss raising their salaries, sending our kids (not theirs) to wars, raising their salaries, the national budget, raising their salaries, the dispersal of our armies and fleets, raising their salaries, who gets a new SUV, raising their salaries, spending taxpayer dollars for votes, raising their salaries, gerrymandering for power, raising their salaries, who gets a personal Air Force jet plane to swan around in, raising their salaries, and who gets a free ride to Ukraine for photo ops and showing off.

 

But on the porch the farmers and workers meet to chaw a little Red Man and discuss seeds, their tax burden, crops, their tax burden, the price of fertilizer, their tax burden, the price of fuel, their tax burden, the new baby, their tax burden, the price of farm equipment, their tax burden, maybe getting the dirt roads graded, their tax burden, how’re things down at the mill / shop / store, their tax burden, I don’t much care for that boy my baby-girl’s been talking to, and their tax burden.

 

Some barefoot kids come by with their fishing poles and discuss the eternal choices between a Moon Pie (won’t melt in the heat) and an Eskimo Pie (it’s good and cold, and a Royal Crown Cola (tastes better) or a Coca-Cola (no it doesn’t!).

 

“Hey, kids, did y’all catch anything?”

 

“Nossir, but we seen this snake that was THIS big around!”

 

In the District of Columbia there are fine buildings and statues and memorials and reflecting pools (or is that reflecting fools?) and offices and the fleshpots of the new Babylon, but I submit to you, worthy citizens of the Republic, that there is more honest discussion about the affairs of state on the front porch of the old country store than just about anywhere else.

 

-30-

Saturday, May 7, 2022

At the Hissing Electric Eye Doors - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

At the Hissing Electric Eye Doors

 

An old man shuffles his walker to the doors

          The sanitary wipes are to the left

A gum-chewer brushes by with a plastic sack

          Ranks of shopping carts rust to the right

 

A child skips through; her mother yells, “Wait! Wait!”

          A three-color circular blows by

An angry woman flings her cigarette down

          Right there beneath the NO SMOKING sign

 

Another old man growls, “Son of a *****!”

          Because he’s pulled the cart with a wobbly wheel

Friday, May 6, 2022

Soft-Pop-Rock-Country Song from the 1960s - poem (of a 60-ish sort)

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Soft-Pop-Rock-Country Song from the 1960s

 

He wrote a song and swore he’d come back to her

And he did

He wrote a song and swore he’d marry her

And he did

Then he divorced her and married someone else

And he didn’t write a song about that

And then he divorced her

And then he died

And no one wrote a song

Thursday, May 5, 2022

Anti-Tarnish Silverware Container - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Anti-Tarnish Silverware Container

 

“Anti-Tarnish Silverware Container”

 

-a sticker inside the box

 

A cheap wooden box nailed together long ago

All scratched and patched with mismatched nails and screws

And lined inside with stained, decaying felt

With slots for long lost knives and forks and spoons

 

Part of someone’s treasure in the Depression time

A dollar or two a month on a layaway plan

At Montgomery Ward or Penney’s or Sears

The “good” silver for Thanksgiving and Christmas

 

The silverplate has been garage-saled and lost

But there was love, and somehow love remains

Wednesday, May 4, 2022

I Envision a World... - doggerel

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

I Envision a World...

 

I envision a world in which the death penalty

Is never again

Used against woman or man

Except for journalists who write “iconic”

          (For them old Socrates’ hemlock tonic)

And poets who write “cerulean”

          (And for them the serpents that stung St. Julian)

Tuesday, May 3, 2022

We Too Are Authors of All the Books We Have Read - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

We Too Are Authors of All the Books We Have Read

 

I still read books just as I did when young

With pen in hand (no longer pipe in mouth)

For underlinings, arrows, and marginal notes

Mapping out the adventures as I go along

 

And we give God thanks for

 

Writers and artists and craftsman with clever hands

Uncredited loggers and tanners of hides

Makers of glue and thread and blocking machines

And the white-capped printer with inky hands

 

Books have many authors, and the Author of All

Blesses them and us with their waves of words

Monday, May 2, 2022

Upon Reading WHO BY FIRE: LEONARD COHEN IN THE SINAI - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Upon Reading Who by Fire: Leonard Cohen in the Sinai

 

Cohen took his soul out into the desert

He may have left part of it there to burn

Upon the sands of war and the sands of time

A chord that echoes in an Egyptian wind

 

As with a corpse-like tank in hull defilade

Or an Uzi rusting among the rocks

The prayers of Yom Kippur in whispers sung

The desert waits for us to worship there

 

Cohen took his soul out into the desert

We should gird our loins and go look for it

Sunday, May 1, 2022

You've Reached Your Limit of Free Articles - rhyming doggerel

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

You’ve Reached Your Limit of Free Articles

 

Much of life now flows through little screens

News of the day about sad foreign wars

          And of course

Gossip about famous actors and great queens

And advertisements for electrical cars

 

If we are more than Darwinian particles

Whom bishops teach electronically

          Then maybe

“You’ve reached your limit of free articles”

Is a marker of one’s mortality

Your Trousers Might be Racist - weekly column, 1 May 2022

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

Your Trousers Might be Racist

 

Augustine Sedgewick has written a wanders-off-the-trail essay purportedly demonstrating that the khakis you wear for work are actually proof of your imperialism / racism / sexism / white supremacistism / oppressivism / whateverism. (The American Scholar: Ku Klux Khaki - <a href='https://theamericanscholar.org/author/augustine-sedgewick/'>Augustine Sedgewick</a>).

 

Professor Sedgewick saw a photograph of a group styling itself The Patriotic Front blocking traffic while wearing blue jackets, khaki trousers, and a festive selection of boots. Their attempt at appearing menacing succeeds only with themselves and the professor; to anyone else they are as comically pathetic as Sir Roderick Spode’s Fascist Black Shorts in several of the Jeeves and Wooster stories.

 

From this photograph Augustine Sedgewick has constructed a fantasy neo-post-colonial (and, like, stuff) thesis about khaki as the preferred costume of imperialists / racists / sexists / white supremacists / oppressivists / whateverists. His thesis does not see trousers as trousers, but wicked in themselves, just like swastikas and fasces.

 

As Jeeves might say to the excitable Bertie Wooster, “The continency is remote, sir.”

 

Khakis originated in the sub-continent as cotton cloth, comfortable in a hot climate and tightly woven to make it practical for physical work and as (gasp) military uniforms. Some sources suggest that khaki (an Urdi word) was commonly worn before colonial times and that this excellent cloth was adopted by the English (cultural appropriation). Professor S, however, maintains that the British invented the material and took it to India (cultural oppression).

 

The practicality and durability of khaki as workwear and military wear, along with its several neutral colors, led it to migrate to the office and to leisure activities. In our informal times a blazer (also of British origin) worn with khakis is acceptable almost anywhere in places that once expected, if not required, a coat and tie or even a dinner jacket.

 

As a fashion khaki comes and goes, but it remains immensely useful in hard, sweaty, knuckle-busting work. Blue jeans (denim originated in France) are sturdier but khaki is more flexible for crawling under cars, climbing into the cab of a big rig, building fence, milking cows, and nailing joists.

 

 

 

I interrupted scribbling this to go feed the cats and dogs, and as I walked through the den I saw on the Orwellian telescreen some young women dancing through a clothing advertisement. One of them, who happened to be black (and presumably still is), was wearing (gasp!) khakis. I suppose Augustine Sedgewick would stereotype her as a white male neo-Nazi for doing so.

 

As for the khaki-oppressed citizens of India, their army wears khakis (Khaki Indian Uniform - Bing images), as does Pakistan’s army (Khaki pakistani army Uniform - Bing images). They invented khakis and they will wear them with or without Professor Sedgewick’s approval.

 

Augustine Sedgewick earned his PhD at Harvard and is a professor at the City University of New York.  He is the author of numerous scholarly works and has won numerous scholarly awards. Presumably he does not wear khakis.

 

Khakis – they’re just britches and shirts, okay, Professor?

 

Augustine Sedgewick

The Origin of Khakis - Levi Strauss & Co : Levi Strauss & Co

A History of Khakis - Dockers Shoes

Roderick Spode - Wikipedia

 

-30-

Saturday, April 30, 2022

Mercenaries Off Down That Road - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Mercenaries Off Down That Road

 

Their medic got killed and I was sent

To stabilize their wounded and ignore their dead

And mind my own business in all other things

Because they weren’t who we were

 

Someone said that they were C.I.A.

And they were okay to me; didn’t talk much

Our C.O. told me to stay away from them

After the unmarked dust-off lifted away

 

I got to thinking that the war I was assigned

Shouldn’t have been any of my business either

Friday, April 29, 2022

Two Little Girls Grew Up Here - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Two Little Girls Grew Up Here

 

Two little girls grew up here in this happy place

Trees and lawns and puppy dogs and peace

From sandals and shorts to graduation gowns -

Sometimes when gardening I find their little treasures:

 

A plastic watch face whose bright colors remain

The broken handle from a toy teacup

A cap pistol with a rusted mechanism -

I don’t know what belonged to my own child

 

Or to that little girl from long ago

Who, when she was grown, drank herself to death

When a Government Goes Bust(ier) - doggerel

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

When a Government Goes Bus(tier)

 

Representative Cawthorn with his big old gun

Representative Cawthorn in his lingerie

North Carolina voted him their Number One

But as for us we’ll vote some other way

Wednesday, April 27, 2022

To be Released from Prison Tomorrow - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

To be Released from Prison Tomorrow

 

Tomorrow his mother and his little girl

Will meet him at the gate and take him home

No more white suits and big boondocker boots

No wire, no bells, no lining up for counts

 

Yes, all of us congratulated him

We cheered, we wished him well, we said a prayer

Prisoners and volunteers and a passing guard

We clapped his back and said goodbye to him

 

Al took his hand; he looked at him and spoke

The sternest, wisest, kindest words of all:

 

“I never want to see you here again.”

Tuesday, April 26, 2022

The Stopping Power of the American Incel - Angry Rhyming Doggerel

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

The Stopping Power of the American Incel

 

“I’m giving all my grandchildren AR rifles.”

 

-my brother-in-law

 

And if my nieces and nephews fire their guns

To kill their classmates or some passers-by

Or maybe the neighbors’ little pre-school sons

They’ll still love the Second even as they fry

 

The killings in our streets we continue in jail:

Electrocution, drugs, shooting, or gassing

Or maybe by hanging – note how they choke and flail -

And the Ballcap Church will bless their passing

 

We’re such a shining city on our high hill

Compensating for our loser-ness with each patriotic kill

Monday, April 25, 2022

We Can't Cash in Our Chips Because We Don't Have Any Chips - weekly column, 24 April 2022

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

We Can’t Cash in Our Chips Because We Don’t Have Any Chips

 

For much of human existence technology was based on wood. A few thousand years ago metallurgy kicked in with bronze and small amounts of crude iron, but the primitive techniques and limited fuel meant that we were still The Wood People. Not until the 19th century did a sort of dialectic of coal, iron, steel, and steam make the industrial revolution possible.

 

Petroleum for fuel, chemicals, fertilizers, and a catalogue of plastics later enhanced industry and thus civilization. When I consider the debris on my old wooden desk I see books in a row made from wood and glue and chemicals, pens made from plastic and chemicals, scissors of steel and plastic, screwdrivers of wood and plastic, and a lamp made from steel, plastic, glass, and a bulb combining electricity and odd metals. The computer on which I type is made mostly of plastic with some few metal parts and microchips.

 

I don’t understand microchips at all, but without them we would not have computers, MePhones, clever little watches, thermostats, radios, Orwellian telescreens, credit cards, and hundreds of other devices as we know them now.

 

Without microchips we would have no military defense, no radar, no air travel, no electricity, no cars, no industry, no medical care, no economy, and no food, and so of course this nation has surrendered almost all the manufacturing of microchips to countries who don’t like us.

 

In the past few weeks numerous news articles have discussed the recycling and even theft of microchips from older devices so that we can have newer devices because we don’t make chips ourselves and can’t buy them.

 

Apparently most microchips can be programmed and reprogrammed for all sorts of purposes, and thus – I read it on the InterGossip so it must be true – some car manufacturers are buying new and used household appliances in order to recover the microchips for making their cars go.

 

If your car has developed a shimmy and a shake don’t worry; it’s the rinse cycle.

 

That burglar on your security camera (which also needs microchips) might be the president of General Motors whose dead-on-the-line Cadillacs need some Whirlpool microchips to make them varoom, varoom.

 

Shady characters on street corners whisper, “Hey, buddy, wanna buy a thermostat? Like new, I promise.”

 

We can truthfully say that in the past we didn’t need microchips. This nation ran railroads and drilled oil wells and built interstates and generated electricity and designed jet planes and dug coal with slide rules, pencils, paper, thoughts, machine tools, and skilled, muscled hands. That might have been a better way of doing things – after all, no North Korean or Chinese Communist could lurk behind a little glowing screen on the other side of the planet and program a Baldwin steam locomotive to self-destruct.

 

I don’t know about microchips, but I do know that Communist China is quietly but busily colonizing Africa (they call it their Belt-and-Road Initiative, which sounds ever so much nicer than imperialism) and expanding its newer-than-new Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere to the Solomon Islands. Australia is next.

 

Chanting “Learn. To. Code.” and arguing about rainbow flags in Disney World won’t help.

 

-30-

Gang Activity - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Gang Activity

 

It wasn’t about the motorcycles

It was never about the motorcycles

The motorcycles were never a problem

It was about the Fall of Man

Sunday, April 24, 2022

Fifty Shades of Community College Night Class - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Fifty Shades of Community College Night Class

 

She was always early, sat in the front row

A middle-aged lady trying for nursing school

She had to take English 1301

Everybody did, but they were cool, you know

 

She was reading a book, Fifty Shades of Grey

I conversationally asked her, “Is it good?”

And conversationally she replied, “It is”

It was very popular by the end of May

 

The old ladies found the book full of pants-down treats -

I was the only one excited about John Keats

Saturday, April 23, 2022

Shelter in Place - poem

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Shelter in Place

 

“Go inside your houses, please. All these people will be taken care of.”

 

-Police Commander in Doctor Zhivago

 

Blue and red lights flicker across the face

Of the rigid black-clad police commander

Whose admiral’s stars all shiny and bright

Are meant to reassure us that we are safe

 

Blue and red lights flicker across the night

Front yards now blue now red now blue now red

The curious from their houses now blue now red

Like corpses discolored in the summer’s heat

 

Blue and red lights flicker across the wraps

Of a world heaved into an ambulance


Friday, April 22, 2022

Mr. Bossy-Pants Tells Us How to Live - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Mr. Bossy-Pants Tells Us How to Live

 

“I’m an idea man, Chuck; I get ideas....”

 

-Michael Keaton as Bill in Night Shift

 

He never planted a garden or mowed a lawn

There are no trees near his apartment house

His household garbage goes straight to the curb

In unrecycled thick black plastic bags

 

He sees his SUV as only his due

But wants bicycles for the rest of us

And keeps his air-conditioning comfy-cool

He flies first class to teach us clean-air truths

 

He makes a bludgeon of the term “organic”

And profits thus from others’ moral panic

Thursday, April 21, 2022

Goodbye, Spooky Old Shopping Mall - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Goodbye, Spooky Old Shopping Mall

 

I’m only here for the restrooms, foul as they are

Employees Must Wash Hands

At the end of corridors which end in corridors

Darker and narrower as they go along

Empty spaces, empty stores, emptiness

 

Someone is sleeping on a decorative bench

No Firearms / Prohibido Portas Armas De Fuego

Outside a nail salon that closed years ago

And a bookstore that closed years ago

And a boutique that closed years ago

 

The geriatric mall-walkers have arrived

Hide Your Merchandise and Lock Your Car

The few remaining stores don’t open ‘til ten

Wednesday, April 20, 2022

"Wimbledon to Ban Russians" - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

“Wimbledon to Ban Russians”

 

-News Item

 

Tchaikovsky, thus, is forbidden to go

Akhmatova is well and sternly gated

No one will greet Dostoyevsky, oh, no

Tolstoy missed his train (some are elated)

 

Bulgakov won’t be there at center court

Nor yet his Margarita on her broom

Tsvaetaeva will certainly miss all the sport

Gogol will watch on tv in his hotel room

 

And is there a point to any of this

Except for a popular boo and hiss?

Tuesday, April 19, 2022

After Fifty Year's It's Time to Change the Linen - very short poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

After Fifty Years It’s Time to Change the Linen

 

One does not wish to live in a culture where crowds

Have persuaded themselves that “Imagine”

Is worthy of the hearing

Monday, April 18, 2022

I Did Not Leave the Local A.M. Radio Station - doggerel

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

I Did Not Leave the Local A.M. Radio Station –

The Local A.M. Radio Station Left Me

 

-As President Reagan did not say

 

The guys on the local talk radio used to be fun

Witty and charming, with good stories to tell

Through example, narrative, joke, and pun

They really made the early morning swell

 

But of late they’ve withered into the stereotype

Of geezery, wheezery, close-minded old men

Whose sole purpose now is to grump and groan and gripe –

They’re somewhere to the right of Original Sin!

 

Since all they do now is but scorn and scoff

I begin my day with the radio off

Sunday, April 17, 2022

Ukrainian Children Can't Do This Just Now - weekly column, 17 April 2022

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

Ukrainian Children Can’t Do This Just Now

 

While on errands last Saturday I saw something marvelous: little children in spontaneous play. They were not organized in teams nor had they been set a goal or purpose by others. They were barefoot and in jeans and tees, and were happily playing about in the mucky water of a roadside ditch. Their only toy was an old bucket.

 

The two basic activities could be clearly clearly in the few seconds it took to drive by.

 

The first activity was carried out by a little boy making a little girl squeal in mock terror by holding a frog or a minnow to her face.

 

The second activity was the little girl dishing out retribution by taking the bucket and sloshing the little boy with water from the ditch.

 

Merriment ensued among all present.

 

And, really, what better sport on a Saturday?

 

There was surely retribution at home by moms and dads: “Why are you all wet!?” and “Get those muddy clothes into the washing machine and go bathe! How many times have I told you...!?” But, gosh, what happy memories for the kids, who someday will in their turn fuss at their own kids for the very same offenses remedied only by detergent and bath soap.

 

Yes, there are many reasons not to play in muddy ditches: bacteria, snakes, bacteria, snapping turtles, bacteria, pesticide runoff, bacteria, broken glass, bacteria, and on and on. Children should not play in muddy ditches.

 

Ukrainian children must sometimes hide in muddy ditches, but it’s not the same thing at all.

 

Still, it’s somehow reassuring that in our increasingly complicated, dangerous, and electronicalized world there are moments of the same gloriously messy childhood play that our ancestors, all the way back to the Garden, indulged in.

 

There are no leagues for unstructured play, no teams, no uniforms, no scores, no officious adults with clipboards, no grades, no fund-raisers, no meetings, no media drama, and no bullet points for resumes’. Those will come later; for now, let’s have a little merry chaos.

 

Childhood is more joyful and more meaningful when not filtered through little Orwellian telescreens. Minnows and mud and fireflies and silly songs around a campfire at night are much better.

 

-30-

Children Playing in a Roadside Ditch on Holy Saturday - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Children Playing in a Roadside Ditch on Holy Saturday

 

Happy children playing in a roadside ditch

Barefoot and laughing in shorts and tees

A boy grabbing up a frog to frighten the girls

A girl sloshing the boys with a bucket of muck

 

They pause to peer through a magnifying glass

A worm or a minnow the passerby can’t see

Because to adults, as with many things

The waterways of Fairyland are closed

 

Happy children playing in a magic fountain

Just as we did when we were very young

Saturday, April 16, 2022

Send Them Your Dawn, O Lord - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Send Them Your Dawn, O Lord

 

We repudiate Putin and all his works

And all his pomps and all his engines of death

And all his malignant servile orcs

Who crucify humanity with lies

 

We are both Marys, Nicodemus, Joseph of Arimathea

We bring the holy bodies of the sacrifice

To Your Garden Tomb; we await Your dawn

Baptizing with our tears this darkest night

 

We have nothing to offer in our desolation

Only our murdered children and blighted lives

Our brothers and sisters in Moses and Christ

Our mothers and fathers who were disappeared

The neighbor boy who played his tunes too loud

The pharmacist who tried to stop a tank

          With her fists

The traffic cop who gave us speeding tickets

MeeMaw in the bombed-out nursing home

Our cousins in the bombed-out railway station

Our brothers, they say, in some bombed-out trench

Ambulance drivers, nurses, physicians, technicians

Farmers, janitors, electricians, schoolgirls

Teachers, bankers, cleaners, grocery clerks

A woman cooking thin soup over a fire

Abandoned little house pets fighting over

A severed hand in the center of the road

 

Send them Your dawn, O Lord, Your Easter dawn

Send them Your dawn, O Lord, at long last - 

                                                                        dawn


Friday, April 15, 2022

We Have No Enemies Among the Dead - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

We Have No Enemies Among the Dead

 

For the Young Crew of the Moskva

14 April 2022

 

Eternal Father, strong to save,
Whose arm hath bound the restless wave...
O hear us when we cry to thee
For those in peril on the sea

 

           -The Navy Hymn

 

Proud admirals and presidents rattle their medals

 

The young - in screams among burst steam lines die

Explosions and darkness and seawater and hatches sealed

The bulkheads blown, there is no up, no down

Only pain and horror and throat-torn shrieks

 

Proud admirals and presidents jing-aling their medals

 

Training manuals, pocketknives, and comic books

Naughty pinups, letters from Mom, wrenches, and boots

Toolboxes, ball-point pens, and coffee cups

Fall with the young deep down into the sea

 

Proud admirals and presidents dazzle the room with their medals

 

Mothers and fathers grieve in emptiness

Our Leaders caution them to mind their attitude

 

Proud admirals and presidents – to Hell with their medals

Thursday, April 14, 2022

A Man with a Broom - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

A Man with a Broom

 

Leaving his broom in the corridor

He came into class and sat for a while

He was worried about anger management

He had shot up a nightclub after all

 

That was after his brother was murdered there

He gets out in twelve days, and he is worried

He has passed over half of his life in prison

He hasn’t seen his son in over nine years

 

He said he has learned to place God first

Some of it might be true

Wednesday, April 13, 2022

Flute Solo Through a Scratchy Record - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Flute Solo Through a Scratchy Record

 

From a tiny speaker in a tiny radio

From a broadcast fifty miles away

From a scratchy record some fifty years old

From the lips of a flutist no longer alive

 

An artist whose parents and teachers long ago

Spoke of embouchures and possibilities

Of lessons for however many dollars each

Saved from a job down at the shop or mill

 

And from the people, hardworking and strong

Someone worked those lives into a song

Tuesday, April 12, 2022

Confederate Crackheads Flying a Kite - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Confederate Crackheads Flying a Kite

 

Barefoot and shirtless, pounding the sand with their feet

Old men running about in front of their trailer

In and out among the lawn-art debris

Launching a kite above their Confederate flags

 

Above the Trump flags, pine trees, power lines

Beer cans and broken toys and engine blocks

Marijuana rolled in an overdue electric bill

A Second Amendment sticker on a clapped-out Ford

 

Hollering through their few remaining teeth

A celebration of something beyond themselves

Monday, April 11, 2022

I Didn't Check with Hank the Cowdog - weekly column, 4.10.2022

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

I Didn’t Check with Hank the Cowdog

 

Imagine a children’s book in which, in the first five pages, a teenager:

 

1. Shoots an animal dead simply to win a bet

2. Is threatened with torture and death by fifteen men, most of them drunk

3. Is attacked with a deadly weapon

4. Shoots his attacker dead and becomes a career criminal

 

Who would make such a violent book available to young, impressionable children?

 

My parents. At Christmas.

 

These violent scenes begin The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood of Great Renown, in Nottinghamshire, by Howard Pyle.

 

Whitman Publishing now prints specialty books for coin and stamp collectors, but for most of the 20th century sold children’s books of all sorts. They were printed on the cheapest sort of paper and featured simple, two-tone illustrations and were bound in full-color laminated covers.

 

Whitman books were a childhood staple for generations, and I still have Robin Hood, Roy Rogers King of the Cowboys, Gene Autry and the Golden Ladder Gang, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, Assignment in Space with Rip Foster, and The Last Trail.

 

And they are violent. Assignment in Space could be subtitled Killing Communists in Space.

 

The spouse-person still has some of her childhood books, including some Annette stories and Five Little Peppers and How They Grew. One does not imagine Annette blasting Commies with ray guns, but a young Annette now could become a fighter pilot and do so.

 

This leads us to the recent national yellings – hardly debates – on what books are appropriate for children. In the past, when more moms and dads were readers and made sure their children were too, the shared experience and a common culture heritage kept things steady. Children tended to read the same books their parents did when they were young.

 

When my parents gave me Robin Hood they weren’t handing me some sort of cultic anti-government propaganda and encouraging violence. The episodic tales – Robin and Little John, Robin and Friar Tuck, Robin and Will Scarlett, Robin and Marian – are good adventure tales which build on and reinforce themes of good citizenship, responsible government, the duties people owe each other, and faith in a complex, hierarchical society.

 

I just don’t think Captain Underpants gets that done.

 

Good parenting is not censorship. Good parents know what their children are reading and know when to step in gently and say, “we need to talk about that.”

 

Censorship occurs when any government, local, state, or federal, determines what books a rational adult may or may not read. In some limited instances, yes, a government quite reasonably forbids adults of questionable intellect to access, say, manuals on bomb-making. This butts up against the First Amendment and rebounds on the second paragraph of the Declaration of Independence, and on such matters good citizens and proper magistrates work these matters out in intelligent discussions.

 

Pitching scripted hissy-fits definitely doesn’t get that done.

 

And the matter of care in what people read is ironic anyway since few people read anymore.  Vetting a book that the kid isn’t reading means nothing, and even less than nothing when feral viewer choices are flickering across the giant Orwellian telescreen in the living room and across the tiny Orwellian telescreen apparently superglued to most hands.

 

-30-

 

After St. Petersburg, St. Giles' Street - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

After St. Petersburg, Saint Giles’ Street

 

Today we’re visiting Russia with a friend

Perhaps a Russia that never really was

Ideas, tea, and holy earth; just now

We’re asking a blessing from Father Zosima

 

Tomorrow we’re off to England, all of us

Perhaps an England that never really was

Ideas, tea, and holy earth; and soon

We’ll stroll through Oxford with poems on our lips

 

And exchange Shakespearean bon mots

With the Commie barmaid at the Eagle and Child