Sunday, May 10, 2020
A Virus-Free Haircut in Honor of the Governor of Texas - poem
Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
A haircut today – my wolfman look is shorn
The virus-time follicles set to rights
Follies and follicles, the locks of lockdown
A-tumbling down in coarse, unseemly waves
The haircut lady continues a narrative
Begun two months before, a local scandal
Unmasked (as are we) to the buzz of the shears
“And I’d tell the governor where he can go…!”
My hair…
In isolation so long embedded -
But suddenly, now, I feel light-headed!
(A shortcoming of lady barbers is that their shops do not feature pictures of poker-playing dogs.)
mhall46184@aol.com
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
A Virus-Free Haircut in Honor of the Governor of Texas
And in memory of Harry and Shorty Driskill,
Our little town’s barbers in the long-ago
A haircut today – my wolfman look is shorn
The virus-time follicles set to rights
Follies and follicles, the locks of lockdown
A-tumbling down in coarse, unseemly waves
The haircut lady continues a narrative
Begun two months before, a local scandal
Unmasked (as are we) to the buzz of the shears
“And I’d tell the governor where he can go…!”
My hair…
In isolation so long embedded -
But suddenly, now, I feel light-headed!
(A shortcoming of lady barbers is that their shops do not feature pictures of poker-playing dogs.)
Saturday, May 9, 2020
The Unwilling Suspension of Belief - poem
Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Prelates, preachers, premiers, princes, and presidents
Now publish proclamations at the speed of lies
And just as rapidly retract them again
Regretting only their subjects’ lack of wit:
Obey The Science, whatever it is today
For it will be something else tomorrow
And so we need not fear our punishments
For the mistakes that our leaders never made
But, shhhhhhhhhhh…
If everything they teach is proven to be bluff
Then we must be the truth –
and we are enough
The reader will remember the concept of willing suspension of disbelief from drama, such as when the Prologue in Henry V urges the audience to imagine the “The vasty fields of France… / Within this wooden O...”
mhall46184@aol.com
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
The Unwilling Suspension of Belief
Prelates, preachers, premiers, princes, and presidents
Now publish proclamations at the speed of lies
And just as rapidly retract them again
Regretting only their subjects’ lack of wit:
Obey The Science, whatever it is today
For it will be something else tomorrow
And so we need not fear our punishments
For the mistakes that our leaders never made
But, shhhhhhhhhhh…
If everything they teach is proven to be bluff
Then we must be the truth –
and we are enough
The reader will remember the concept of willing suspension of disbelief from drama, such as when the Prologue in Henry V urges the audience to imagine the “The vasty fields of France… / Within this wooden O...”
Friday, May 8, 2020
Like Far-Out Totally Drug Trippin', Man - poem
Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
A pill or two, inhaling funny stuff
Green stripes floating before and through my eyes
Oh, wow, dude, and maybe behind my eyes
The sixties regrooved in day-glow colored lights
Floating above this alien planet, I was
A dream aloft, or lofting up a dream
Shankaring that zitaring ups we go
That falls like moonbeams on a blue-slept sea
For an hour disharmony seemed resolved -
Oh, why does there have to be dentistry involved?
mhall46184@aol.com
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Like Far-Out Totally Drug Trippin’, Man
A pill or two, inhaling funny stuff
Green stripes floating before and through my eyes
Oh, wow, dude, and maybe behind my eyes
The sixties regrooved in day-glow colored lights
Floating above this alien planet, I was
A dream aloft, or lofting up a dream
Shankaring that zitaring ups we go
That falls like moonbeams on a blue-slept sea
For an hour disharmony seemed resolved -
Oh, why does there have to be dentistry involved?
Thursday, May 7, 2020
So That's Why Texas Jails Beauticians - weekly column
Lawrence (Mack) Hall, HSG
So That’s Why Texas
Jails Beauticians
The concept of essential jobs and nonessential jobs
eludes many of us. If you have a job it’s an essential job because food,
clothing, and shelter are essential. Who
is it who sits enthroned on high with the authority from some planetary
overlord to determine whether your job is essential?
Beauticians, whose daily practices and spaces have always
been required to meet strict education, re-education, safety, health, and
hygiene requirements, have of late been shut down, shut out, and shut up, and when
several of them got all uppity about needing to work – work – have been
investigated and sometimes jailed (https://reason.com/2020/05/07/texas-governor-greg-abbott-will-not-jail-people-shelley-luther-for-violating-coronavirus-social-distancing/).
And we the people understand: law-abiding citizens must
be protected from wild-eyed barbers and beauticians wielding semi-automatic
assault scissors with 30-round banana magazines. No one knows the horrible
death rate inflicted on innocents by those out-of-control clipper-crazies.
Why can’t beauticians and barbers be more like, oh,
hot-air balloon pilots who charge people for flights?
According to the FAA (http://www.pilotfriend.com/training/flight_training/faa_bal.htm),
requirements to fly as a commercial balloon pilot begin with:
Subpart
E -- Commercial Pilots
·
The
age requirement for a commercial pilot certificate is 18 years.
·
Read,
speak and understand the English language.
·
No
medical certificate required. Same as paragraph 3 above.
·
The
applicant must pass a more advanced written test on the subject matter listed
in paragraph 4 above, additional operating procedures relating to commercial
operations, and those duties required of a flight instructor.
·
Advanced
training must be received from an authorized instructor including those items
listed in paragraph 5 above plus emergency recovery from a terminal velocity
descent.
·
The
applicant for a commercial certificate must have at least 35 hours of flight
time as a pilot, of which 20 hours must be in balloons, 6 under the supervision
of an instructor, 2 solo flights, 2 flights of at least one duration, and one
flight to 5000 feet above the take-off point.
The holder of a commercial
pilot's certificate may operate a balloon for hire and may give flight
instruction.
Want to go for a balloon ride?
According to the State of Texas, requirements to work as
a cosmetologist or barber (https://www.tdlr.texas.gov/cosmet/cosmetlaw.htm)
(pour yourself a cup of coffee; this is going to take a while) begin with:
OCCUPATIONS CODE
TITLE 9. REGULATION OF BARBERS, COSMETOLOGISTS, AND RELATED OCCUPATIONS
CHAPTER 1602. COSMETOLOGISTS
(Effective date September 1, 2019)
Table of Contents
These strict requirements wisely keep beauticians and
barbers from killing people by flying them into power lines or by dropping them
thousands of feet to their deaths when the balloon catches fire.
So, yeah, that’s why Texas jails beauticians.
-30-
Upon Release from Lockdown - poem
Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
With friends for lunch after two dreary months
How we looked forward to it! The neon café
Along the interstate, tourists and truckers
All waiting to be seated – how many, sir?
But how desolate it is in the dimness
Almost empty - half the furniture gone
No merriment, no hum of activity
One masked server, flickering about like a ghost
The road out past the empty parking lot
Leads to California. Maybe we should go
mhall46184@aol.com
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Upon Release from Lockdown
But we keep a-comin’. We’re the people that live.
-Ma Joad, The Grapes of Wrath
With friends for lunch after two dreary months
How we looked forward to it! The neon café
Along the interstate, tourists and truckers
All waiting to be seated – how many, sir?
But how desolate it is in the dimness
Almost empty - half the furniture gone
No merriment, no hum of activity
One masked server, flickering about like a ghost
The road out past the empty parking lot
Leads to California. Maybe we should go
Wednesday, May 6, 2020
A Television Ad for the Virus Time - poem
Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Begin the same old insta-emo piano music; roll stock footage of beautiful, happy families having far more fun in isolation than you ever will.
Voice-over narrator in the slow, soft, persuasive tones we associate with some of our nation’s more accomplished mass-murderers:
We’re here for you we’re here to help together
Trust together we’re in this together
We care together we’re listening together
We will rise to the challenge together [Keep it SLOW]
The indomitable human spirit together
We’ll learn something about each other that
We just didn’t know before together
We are all on the same team together [SLOWWWW]
And when this is over, when we all smile again [Slow and then pause]
Together [SLOW and ‘WAY LOW, pause]
We’ll all buy a bottle of Bob’s Boysenberry Gin! [PATRIOTIC EXUBERANCE!]
mhall46184@aol.com
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
A Television Ad for the Virus Time
Begin the same old insta-emo piano music; roll stock footage of beautiful, happy families having far more fun in isolation than you ever will.
Voice-over narrator in the slow, soft, persuasive tones we associate with some of our nation’s more accomplished mass-murderers:
We’re here for you we’re here to help together
Trust together we’re in this together
We care together we’re listening together
We will rise to the challenge together [Keep it SLOW]
The indomitable human spirit together
We’ll learn something about each other that
We just didn’t know before together
We are all on the same team together [SLOWWWW]
And when this is over, when we all smile again [Slow and then pause]
Together [SLOW and ‘WAY LOW, pause]
We’ll all buy a bottle of Bob’s Boysenberry Gin! [PATRIOTIC EXUBERANCE!]
Tuesday, May 5, 2020
Water-Stained Pages in a Missal - poem
Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Crinkly, wrinkly pages in a missal
They’re water-stained – how did that come to be?
Maybe it was when the bishop visited
And sloshed us with his shaky aspergillum
Or when an infant at her baptism
Protested the proceedings with a splash
The stains might be from another child’s sippy-cup
Or a careless moment at the holy-water font
And so
The pages aren’t water-stained; they’re water-blessed
With beautiful mysteries – Word, water, and child
mhall46184@aol.com
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Water-Stained Pages in a Missal
Crinkly, wrinkly pages in a missal
They’re water-stained – how did that come to be?
Maybe it was when the bishop visited
And sloshed us with his shaky aspergillum
Or when an infant at her baptism
Protested the proceedings with a splash
The stains might be from another child’s sippy-cup
Or a careless moment at the holy-water font
And so
The pages aren’t water-stained; they’re water-blessed
With beautiful mysteries – Word, water, and child
Monday, May 4, 2020
Dole (tm) Banana #4011 - MePhone Photograph
Dole Banana #4011. Is there a Dole Banana #4010? #4012?
"Dole Central Command to Banana #4011. Come in, #4011. I repeat, come in, #4011..."
(Thanks to Dole, my potassium level is where it should be.)
"Dole Central Command to Banana #4011. Come in, #4011. I repeat, come in, #4011..."
(Thanks to Dole, my potassium level is where it should be.)
Magnesium for the Militia Movement - poem
Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
The Declaration of Independence,
The Constitution, the Majesty of the Republic
Are ruined foundations upon which now squat
Clangery fat men and their tiny guns
https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/495800-auschwitz-museum-condemns-nazi-slogan-at-re-open-illinois
(I wanted to write “Milk of Magnesia” in the title but that term is trademarked.)
mhall46184@aol.com
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Magnesium for the Militia Movement
The Declaration of Independence,
The Constitution, the Majesty of the Republic
Are ruined foundations upon which now squat
Clangery fat men and their tiny guns
https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/495800-auschwitz-museum-condemns-nazi-slogan-at-re-open-illinois
(I wanted to write “Milk of Magnesia” in the title but that term is trademarked.)
Sunday, May 3, 2020
Most of Our Penguins are Scotch-Taped Now - poem
Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Civilization is sometimes held together
By the stern parsimony of Scotch Tape™
Which locks tattered covers and pages in bond
To await opening by old hands or young
Young is better; for we were young, and too
The world was young, and is, as Camelot
Sends forth each day noble adventures, ideas 1
In battle luminous against chaos and evil
Civilization is always held together
When old and young face the dragon in unity
1 An allusion to Tennyson’s Idylls of the King
mhall46184@aol.com
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Most of Our Penguins are Scotch-Taped Now
Civilization is sometimes held together
By the stern parsimony of Scotch Tape™
Which locks tattered covers and pages in bond
To await opening by old hands or young
Young is better; for we were young, and too
The world was young, and is, as Camelot
Sends forth each day noble adventures, ideas 1
In battle luminous against chaos and evil
Civilization is always held together
When old and young face the dragon in unity
1 An allusion to Tennyson’s Idylls of the King
Saturday, May 2, 2020
Where's MeeMaw? - poem
Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
She always gave her grandchildren kisses for luck
After their visits when she picked them up from school
After spoiling them with candy and sody-pop
Over the protests of her diet-conscious daughter
She always gave her daughter kisses for luck
“My house, my rules – I get to treat ‘em!”
“Oh, MeeMaw, you’ll turn them into rotten kids!”
“And you can feed them twigs and leaves at home!”
She always gave her grandchildren kisses for luck –
Her sheeted corpse was shoved into a rented truck
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/license-for-new-york-funeral-home-where-dozens-of-bodies-were-removed-from-trucks-has-been-suspended/ar-BB13ulp5
mhall46184@aol.com
poeticdrivel.blogspot.com
Where’s MeeMaw?
“A nameless number on a list that was afterwards mislaid.”
-Yevgrav in Doctor Zhivago
She always gave her grandchildren kisses for luck
After their visits when she picked them up from school
After spoiling them with candy and sody-pop
Over the protests of her diet-conscious daughter
She always gave her daughter kisses for luck
“My house, my rules – I get to treat ‘em!”
“Oh, MeeMaw, you’ll turn them into rotten kids!”
“And you can feed them twigs and leaves at home!”
She always gave her grandchildren kisses for luck –
Her sheeted corpse was shoved into a rented truck
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/license-for-new-york-funeral-home-where-dozens-of-bodies-were-removed-from-trucks-has-been-suspended/ar-BB13ulp5
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
