Tuesday, May 31, 2022

The Last Literary Magazine I Will Ever Buy - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

The Last Literary Magazine I Will Ever Buy

 

A weighty enough tome for fourteen dollars

Guest-edited by a famous visiting poet

For that much money there should be more hollers

But it’s mostly free verse, wouldn’t ya know it

 

Self-pitying free verse (oh, how I have suffered)

First-person pronouns shattered and scattered about

From each other with white space well buffered

Each polemic a sustained, censorious pout

 

The thesis of each yelp in this literary gong?

All that we say and do and think is wrong

Monday, May 30, 2022

The Road, The Tao, The Way - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

The Road, The Tao, The Way

 

“The road goes ever on and on”

 

-Tolkien

 

There is of course the Road, the Tao, the Way

And traveling it grows difficult with age

Or maybe now it travels more for us

But still the Road, the Tao, the Way leads on

 

When I was young over my shoulder I slung

A canvas bag with a toothbrush and a book

A pen, some poems, and dreams that wrote themselves

And I smoked my pipe and sang as I marched

 

Some have walked with me, and I with others

Most of them have walked ahead, and are gone

I think they are waiting for me among those stars

Who lighten and brighten as the sun sails away

 

At dusk Yeats and I talked about the Road

He said he thought there might be a poem

 

Sunday, May 29, 2022

Donnie and Wayne Celebrate the Massacre of the Holy Innocents - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Donnie and Wayne Celebrate the Massacre of the Holy Innocents

 

While Donny dances for Wayne, dances upon the dead

Celebrating

The latest Massacre of the Holy Innocents

 

We sit and try to write away the pain

And can’t

We try to shape this chaos into words

And can’t

 

We are determined to protect the children

And will

We will repudiate the worship of death

We will

 

While Donny dances for Wayne, dances upon the dead

Celebrating

The latest Massacre of the Holy Innocents

Civilization Begins at the Barn - weekly column, 29 May 2022

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

Civilization Begins at the Barn

 

A large truck stopped in front of my country estate here along Beer Can Road and County Dump Extension. The big red tractor was pulling a big long trailer carrying lots of wood and prefabricated roof trusses. I visited with the driver, who was trying to find an address that apparently did not exist. The bill bore little more than the first name of the seller, the items on the truck, and the Neverland address.

 

With my mental acuity that would impress even Detective Monk I suggested that we switch around the physical address and the county road number and plug those into the electrical map on the MePhone, and that did indeed give us an address that exists, a farm only a few fields over. I gave the driver directions and we shook hands, though I don’t know how his adventure ended.

 

But the cargo was interesting: roof trusses, probably for a barn, and a miscellaney of milled wood.

 

Barns are good. In our times of destruction and violence the idea of raising a barn is a vote for civilization.

 

The barn is the heart of a farm, the world headquarters of the business and the art and liturgy of growing crops and animals. The day’s work begins there, almost always before dawn, and ends there, almost always after dark. The good old tractor spends its nights there, along with plows, rakes, mowers, tillers, barbed wire, rope, pulleys, machine tools, gardening tools, carpentry tools, sacks of feed, mineral blocks, hay, feed, animal medicines, a work bench, fertilizer, and lots more impedimenta, all of it expensive, necessary for raising animals, prepping the fields, establishing plantings and pastures, sowing, maintaining, and harvesting.

 

Depending on the animals and seasons, the barn also hosts critters large and small with the various pens and stalls necessary for their shelter and safety.

 

Other life forms, not at all welcome, reside there too: rats, mice, snakes, and maybe a skunk burrowing under the foundations for the winter. Raccoons, ‘possums, and coyotes regard the barn as a midnight diner. Thus, the farmer will establish a resident dog, probably named Hank, and a cat, probably titled Simba, King Cat and Killer of Rats. With fresh water and just enough good animal food they will strike at the unwelcome intruders with fang and claw, and in return expect only an occasional scratch behind the ears.  A barn owl might find a cozy spot among the rafters and from there he too will wing silently to prey upon rats and mice and the occasional careless bunny.

 

If the farm is blessed with children they will work their 4H and FFA projects from the barn: gardens, rabbits, chickens, goats, pigs, and other crops and critters in any combination.

 

The adults and the kids will post calendars with lots of penciled-in information about crops and seasons, and the business cards of veterinarians, farm supply houses, and tractor dealers will grow around it. A feed store thermometer and a barometer on the wall will do their duty for years to come, along with a rain gauge on a fence post, although there are only four categories of farm weather: (1) too darned hot, (2) too darned cold, (3) too darned wet, and (4) too darned dry.

 

Just inside the big door, or perhaps outside if there is some shade, a bench and some old chairs will be positioned for those rare occasions when folks will be able to rest from their labors a while with a meditative chaw or cigar to sit and think and talk, and sometimes just to sit and think, and sometimes, as the old saying goes, just to sit. The setting sun and the sweet scent of a new-mown field are the light and the incense for that evening hour of Vespers.

 

Anyway, that’s where I think that truckload of wood and the friendly driver from Louisiana were going. I hope so. We need more foresters and truck drivers and farmers, and fewer strident men of destiny who wear expensive suits and uniforms while giving their underlings orders to destroy the land and kill foresters and truck drivers and farmers for the greater glory of whatever.

 

-30-

 

 

Saturday, May 28, 2022

Kenneth Branagh Attempts to Murder Agatha Christie - doggerel

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Kenneth Branagh Attempts to Murder Agatha Christie

 

Mr. Branagh, we’re watching your reputation die

Garishly coloured in the worst CGI

 

In your first Poirot you made a formless mess -

It was the audience who died on the Orient Express

 

And then you continued without any style

And lost the plot on your sad cartoon Nile

 

Do whatever you want; have it your way

But we are sticking with David Suchet

 

For it is obvious to our great sorrow

That you are a flop as Hercule Poirot

Friday, May 27, 2022

President Trump Splits Two Infinitives and Botches a Number of Subject, Verb, and Adjective Constructs While Proposing the Arming of Teachers - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

President Trump Splits Two Infinitives and Botches a Number of Subject, Verb, and Adjective Constructs While Proposing the Arming of Teachers

 

“...it's time to finally allow highly trained teachers to safely and discreetly concealed carry, let them concealed carry.

 

-Former President Donald J. Trump to the National Rifle Ass., 27 May 2022

 

All teachers trample the Constitution

All teachers promote contempt for the Flag

All teachers should be in an institution

All teachers are weird (and that one’s a f*g)

All teachers despise the military

All teachers should be slowly microwaved

All teachers hate meat; they’re vegetary

All teachers hate Jesus; they can’t be saved

All teachers are evil; the children are harmed:

 

And thus, they say, all teachers should be armed

 

Previously published as “Texas’ Proposed Concealed Carry Law” in Dispatches from the Colonial Office, 2018, available from amazon.com.

Thursday, May 26, 2022

Will No One Friend Me on MyFaceSpaceBookToc? - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Will No One Friend Me on MyFaceSpaceBookToc?

 

“Hitherto at least I have stood in the front ranks of all that is progressive in Europe,

and here the new generation positively ignores me.”

 

Pyotr Miusov in Part I, Book II, Chapter V of The Brothers Karamazov

 

Oh, let it go, Miusov; we are the old men

We used to laugh about when we were young

Though getting old was not part of my master plan

I seem to have grown old – and you did too

 

We attended secret meetings and scribbled free verse

Whispered “What is to be done?” to each other

Pitied the Proletariat over our wine and cigars

And scorned our elders – we thought ourselves clever

 

Yes, let it go, Miusov; we are the old men

Left here remembering what might have been

 

Wednesday, May 25, 2022

Guns 'N' Babies - Doggerel for our Third-World Country

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Guns ‘N’ Babies

 

Racks of guns and shelves of ammunition

But almost no formula for our babies’ nutrition

Tuesday, May 24, 2022

Rachel Weeping for her Children - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Rachel Weeping for her Children

 

This is spring

 

There should be inattention in class:

Summer plans for camping and for play

When each sunny day is a barefoot day

Splashing in the stock pond, annoying the cows

 

Instead of

 

Chain-link fencing, sagging gates, gunfire

Black rifles, screams, ambulances in lines

Yellow plastic tape, detailed narratives

Telephoto camera lenses, MePhones

 

And tiny little bodies plastic-wrapped

Carried one by one to refrigerated vaults

 

 

(Hey, stud, preach to them about your Second Amendment)

Monday, May 23, 2022

A Constitutional Argument for Disarming the Secret Service - a limerick

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

A Constitutional Argument for Disarming the Secret Service

 "A well regulated militia..."

They are a disordered militia

Whose ethics are silly and superficia

          From their mischief God preserve us

          Our drunken old Secret Service -

Go away, boys; we won’t miss ya

Sunday, May 22, 2022

A Theological Wristwatch - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

A Theological Wristwatch

 

At bedtime my watch suggests to me

That I should meditate with gratitude

For someone who is important in my life

Who gives a deeper meaning to each day

 

And so I stare at the lava-lamp effect

On the face of my watch, as if it were

An artifact from McGoohan’s The Village

Wanting information, not meditation

 

And I am grateful; it’s just that the watch

Suggests only For What, and not To Whom

The World Wide Wordle Word - weekly column, 5.22.2022

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

Mhall46184@aol.com

 

The World Wide Wordle-Word

 

WORDLE has become as essential to the morning ritual as a washup and a cup of coffee.  Thought up by Welsh software engineer Josh Wordle in 2001, in 2002 he sold the game to the New York Times for lots and lots of money.

 

WORDLE is entertaining, thoughtful, and usually brief, although you can leave it at any time and come back to it throughout the day. Many people enjoy word games, and crosswords, scrambles, word searches, and other entertaining mind exercises have long been a popular feature in newspapers and magazines.  Although WORDLE is played on an Orwellian telescreen via a desk computer or a MePhone and so is technically a video game, it continues the intellectual tradition of other word games.

 

Playing WORDLE is so simple that even a liberal arts major can learn it in a few minutes. The screen presents six rows of five blank spaces. The player’s challenge is to discover, without any initial clue, the five-letter word assigned for the game of the day. There is only one WORDLE word around the world, making each day’s word the World Wide Word.

 

Thus, on the first line the player types in any common five-letter word and then the little boxes change colors to indicate that any given letter is (1) part of the answer and in the right place, (2) part of the answer and not in the right place, or (2) not part of the answer.

 

The results of the first word, which is a guess, provide useful information for the second word, which provides more useful information for subsequent words. The game begins with a guess and then become really thinky. 

 

The official WORDLE offers only one game each day, although there are many unofficial imitators if you want another match with another word.

 

Friends often agree upon a beginning word for the next day’s WORDLE in order to generate a friendly competition. The first competitor to find the word of the day wins the match. For me, I choose to make my own rule for winning – the higher number is the winning number. In using this rule I win lots of games.

 

-30-

Saturday, May 21, 2022

Where the Fairies Hide - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Where the Fairies Hide

 

In the dreary weary heat I crawled

Burrowing deep within a thickety bush

To saw and cut and clip away the growth

That had long formed a formless cloud of green

 

There might be little elves or fairies, I hoped

Long hidden away among broken bits of pots

In a childhood world of secrets and dreams

Among dappled shadows dizzying me

 

I thought I heard soft giggles and soft feet

But maybe it was only the dreary weary heat

Friday, May 20, 2022

I Never Met a Harvard Graduate in Viet-Nam - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

I Never Met a Harvard Graduate in Viet-Nam

 

“Now, soldiers, march away...”

 

-Henry V IV.iii.140

 

I wasn’t the first to notice that salient fact

For except in matters of feed, seed, and soil

Farm boys weren’t aware of critical thinking -

We trusted our government to get things right

 

And still...

 

The children of oligarchs play in law school

Or sun themselves while on perpetual holiday

While the much-deceived children of the poor

In their patriotic obedience die

 

And still...

 

Now, soldiers, march away

Your betters are at play

On Daddy’s yacht today

Thursday, May 19, 2022

Blessed by a Former Student - poem

 

Blessed by a Former Student

 

Adveni fui in terra aliena

 

-Exodus 2:22

 

A smiling young man I didn’t know

Hugged me with enthusiasm, almost in tears

And told me with joy how I had inspired him

When I was his teacher some years ago

 

I was some moments realizing that

He was Amanda. I hope she is happy

For she was a joyful child, tho’ I confess

That I can sort out neither the pronouns

 

Nor the century – I am a stranger here

But the folks are friendly, and the coffee’s good

Wednesday, May 18, 2022

A Finely Crafted Swiss Frog - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

A Finely Crafted Swiss Frog

 

Its crystal is the windowpane

Through which its tiny heart is seen

And its splayed and spatulate toes

Grasping securely the eternal

Tuesday, May 17, 2022

Untied Healthcare - from their cold, dead lips...

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Untied Healthcare

 

Your feedback is important to us important

information Notices and Disclosures

Provider Data Information [Opens

in a new window] Legal Entities

[Opens in a new window] Share My Health

Data [Opens in a new window] Help

& Contact Us SYSTEM ERROR Share Feedback

LOGOUT [Opens in a new window] Medicare

Complaint Form [Opens in a new window]

SYSTEM ERROR Share Feedback LOGOUT Help

SIGN IN I am not sure I understand /

am able to conceptualize the issue

I would recommend contacting Did you know,

if you have any other questions Would

you be interested in taking a brief survey

clicking the Message Us button on the Help

& Contact Us SYSTEM FAILURE Your call

is important to us...

 

(Can anyone who spells “Health care” as “healthcare”

Be trusted with anything?)

Monday, May 16, 2022

Corporate-Speak Inquisitors Meet with the Faithful - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

Corporate-Speak Inquisitors Meet with the Faithful

 

They do not wear dark robes or sinister hoods

Nor even Roman collars with their Izod shirts

In fetching pastel shades of harmlessness

They rule with legal pads and plastic pens

 

They question us about our parish and priest

And rattle the matter of closing the church

Though it’s difficult to take seriously pasty old men

Who seem to be a bench of Miss Marples

 

They do not wear dark robes or sinister hoods

But menace us with evasive can’ts and coulds

Sunday, May 15, 2022

Yes, There was a Manifesto - weekly column, 5.15.2022

 

Lawrence Hall, HSG

mhall46184@aol.com

 

Yes, There was a Manifesto

 

In the midst of a world of light and love, of song and feast and dance, he could find nothing to think of more interesting than his own prestige.

 

-C. S. Lewis, A Preface to Paradise Lost

 

This scribble began as a consideration of the sad sack of s(lop) – hardly a man – who murdered mostly elderly shoppers and a stand-up retired police officer.

 

Aaron Salter, Jr., 55 and recently retired after thirty years with the Buffalo, New York police, surely understood that with only a pistol he would not probably survive his defense of his fellow Americans against an orc wearing body armor and armed with a .556 semi-automatic rifle.

 

There are still heroes among us, and Officer Salter was one of them.

 

In the event, last weekend featured numerous other murders and woundings of ordinary Americans by other Americans in church, at sports events, and at community festivities. No other nation needs to bother attacking us; we’re destroying ourselves.

 

The speculations we all still have about the sad sack of s(lop) murdering old people in a supermarket extend now to all the sad sacks of s(sop) who, in a world of possibilities, found nothing more to do with their weekend than compensate for their inadequacies by shooting unarmed people.

 

Let us anchor the discussion in the first orc:

 

Grandpa’s old single-shot for rabbit hunting and secured with a trigger lock with the key kept by Dad when not in use – we get that; it’s a piece of Americana.  But a semi-automatic rifle in a combat calibre and a G. I. Joe dress-up play-soldier suit – that’s pathological.

 

About the wannabe soldier thing - did he make the first day of recruit training? Or did he just know about video games?

 

Did he ever consider joining the volunteer fire department or some other worthy cause?

 

Did he play football, join the band, belong to the FFA, take a shop class, join the Scouts, help with the little kids at Sunday School, or belong to a club?

 

Did he ever have a job – sack boy, fast-food, mechanic’s helper, anything? Who paid for the three weapons he is reported to have been carrying? And the body armor? That’s not cheap.

 

Did he ever mow the yard?

 

Could he cook a simple meal?

 

Did he ever help wash dishes, vacuum the floors, wash the windows, or do the laundry?

 

Did he ever change the oil and hit the lube points in a tractor, pickup truck, or car?

 

Did he ever help build fence? Did he even know what a carpenter’s hammer is for?

 

Did he ever wrestle a rotor-tiller around the garden?

 

Did he ever have to take care of little brothers and sisters?

 

Did he ever question the illogical, immoral, and unscientific race theories fed to him?

 

If you were to ask him about his favorite book, would the response be a blank stare or even a sneer of disapproval?

 

Did he have a purpose, a life-plan, a cause beyond whatever nonsense was programmed into his little brain from the InterGossip?

 

In the end, it’s not that we ask such questions about him; we ask them about ourselves and about how we raise our children and grandchildren.

 

Peace.

 

-30-

A Few Kind Thoughts for Roman Soldiers - poem

 

Lawrence Hall

Mhall46184@aol.com 

https://hellopoetry.com/lawrence-hall/

poeticdrivel.blogspot.com

 

A Few Kind Thoughts for Roman Soldiers

 

If you have stood your watch throughout the night

To guard a clothesline of national importance

Dug foxholes only to fill them up again

And then patrolled through long days in the heat

 

If you have enjoyed Cinderella Liberty

And talking about poetry and girls

With a few mates down at the coffee shop

Because that’s all your poor pay can afford

 

You will then understand the conscript guards

Posted to keep order on Calvary