Monday, July 6, 2015

And Even More Things People Never Say

Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com

And Even More Things People Never Say

“Yogurt – it’s what’s for dinner.”

“I’m sure glad our federal government went after those soccer people in Yurp. The international soccer organizations should learn about fair play and honest dealing from all our fine American internet service providers.”

“Chicken – it tastes a little like rattlesnake.”

“The poems of Anna Akhmatova are just too frivolous and silly for me. Good enough for teens, maybe, but I prefer deeper stuff, like Rod McKuen.”

“We didn’t miss you in church last Sunday.”

“Time to rise and shine, and greet the new night.”

“I’m as fit as a bassoon.”

“I’m hoping Santa Claus brings me a copy of Eugenio Corti’s The Red Horse trilogy for Christmas.”

“The other day I saw a Supreme Court justice reading The Bible.”

“And, if you call now, we’ll add 15% to the price!”

“Trouble is not my middle name.”

“Aw, Mom, why can’t I go to bed early and get a good night’s sleep!?”

“You know, I really miss Dan Rather and Brian Williams.”

“I’m just not doing my job, ma’am.”

“Don’t bother covering me. I’m not going in.”

“Margaret Sanger for the twenty-dollar-bill, just to prove that we women can be as genocidal as men!”

“I was born not ready.”

“I can’t explain. This is exactly what it looks like.”

“You’ll probably get away with this.”

“There are probably several things you and anybody else can do to stop me.”

“You’ll never take me alive! Or maybe you will.”

“You look as if you haven’t seen a ghost.”

“Fire in the convexity!”

“You listen to me, and you listen good, because I’m going to say this only three or four times…”

“Is this some kind of healthy joke?”

“If there’s anything Beaumont businesses are known for, it’s good customer service.”

“I’m just fine without my Blue Bell™. Really. I’m okay…”

-30-

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