Hey, We've Still got That Other Ice Cream - Yet More Things People Never Say

Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com

Hey, We’ve Still got That Other Ice Cream –
Yet More Things People Never Say

“Let’s pull the envelope.”

“Fiction is stranger than truth.”

“We love our internet service provider. The service is excellent, the rates are reasonable, and on the rare occasions we contact customer service the representatives are polite and knowledgeable. We’ve heard that’s true with most internet companies.”

“Better to curse the candle than to darkness the light…or something.”

“Last week I was a high school senior and people were giving me stuff and telling me how wonderful I am; this week I’m just another unemployed adult. What happened?”

“Oh, the places you won’t go.”

“These cans of beans aren’t flying off the shelves at any price. Groceries don’t fly.”

“I’m waiting for the first shoe to drop.”

“I am not announcing my candidacy for the Republican nomination. I think there should be at least one American not running for president.”

“Don’t buy gold from us; if gold were a good investment we’d be keeping it for ourselves.”

“Our company is not on the cutting edge of anything.”

“No, I don’t want to change the world. I need to do a better job of changing myself before I presume to run a planet.”

“No fresh half-and-half or cream for my coffee; hand me a brittle packet of that bleached and dried seaweed.”

“I’ve had enough of Duggars, swamp people, duck guys, shrieking harridans, and the creepy old man who wears lingerie and thinks he’s a centerfold. Instead of tellyvision I take my kid to the public library every week to check out a book to bring home.”

“If there really is a such a thing as the bird flu, why do all the buzzards look so healthy?”

“Those rotten soccer people got what they deserve. As for me, I’m a good American and look to the NFL and ESPN for moral and ethical leadership.”

“Is it just me or is it true that drivers are more skilled and more responsible than ever?”

“This new detective novel will not have you sitting on the edge of your seat – that’s a very uncomfortable place to sit.”

“Maybe the company closed the store because it wasn’t profitable. Maybe it’s not a secret government plot to take over the country from itself. At least that’s what the Russian guys dressed in Ninja outfits driving around in an ice cream truck told me.”

“Buy the first two, and we’ll sell you the third at the same price.”

“Finally, as a tribute to the can-do frontier spirit of Texas: We’ve still got Ben and Jerry’s.”

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