Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com
Joey
A Joey is a baby kangaroo
He first begins to hop at the age of two
Or maybe even earlier; who can know?
But what a happy, hopping, happening show!
He hops and hops and flops all over the floor
And then he hops right out the wide front door
To hop around the lawn and leafy trees
And hop right past some buzzing busy bees
What marvelous, magical hopping powers!
He hops all through the sunlit summer hours
Until it’s time for bath and book and bed
When hopping dreams hop through his sleepy
head
And of this tale, what is the hoppiest part?
Our little Joey hops - into my heart
Monday, July 6, 2015
And Even More Things People Never Say
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
And Even More Things People Never Say
“Yogurt – it’s what’s for dinner.”
“I’m sure glad our federal government went after those soccer people in Yurp. The international soccer organizations should learn about fair play and honest dealing from all our fine American internet service providers.”
“Chicken – it tastes a little like rattlesnake.”
“The poems of Anna Akhmatova are just too frivolous and silly for me. Good enough for teens, maybe, but I prefer deeper stuff, like Rod McKuen.”
“We didn’t miss you in church last Sunday.”
“Time to rise and shine, and greet the new night.”
“I’m as fit as a bassoon.”
“I’m hoping Santa Claus brings me a copy of Eugenio Corti’s The Red Horse trilogy for Christmas.”
“The other day I saw a Supreme Court justice reading The Bible.”
“And, if you call now, we’ll add 15% to the price!”
“Trouble is not my middle name.”
“Aw, Mom, why can’t I go to bed early and get a good night’s sleep!?”
“You know, I really miss Dan Rather and Brian Williams.”
“I’m just not doing my job, ma’am.”
“Don’t bother covering me. I’m not going in.”
“Margaret Sanger for the twenty-dollar-bill, just to prove that we women can be as genocidal as men!”
“I was born not ready.”
“I can’t explain. This is exactly what it looks like.”
“You’ll probably get away with this.”
“There are probably several things you and anybody else can do to stop me.”
“You’ll never take me alive! Or maybe you will.”
“You look as if you haven’t seen a ghost.”
“Fire in the convexity!”
“You listen to me, and you listen good, because I’m going to say this only three or four times…”
“Is this some kind of healthy joke?”
“If there’s anything Beaumont businesses are known for, it’s good customer service.”
“I’m just fine without my Blue Bell™. Really. I’m okay…”
-30-
Mhall46184@aol.com
And Even More Things People Never Say
“Yogurt – it’s what’s for dinner.”
“I’m sure glad our federal government went after those soccer people in Yurp. The international soccer organizations should learn about fair play and honest dealing from all our fine American internet service providers.”
“Chicken – it tastes a little like rattlesnake.”
“The poems of Anna Akhmatova are just too frivolous and silly for me. Good enough for teens, maybe, but I prefer deeper stuff, like Rod McKuen.”
“We didn’t miss you in church last Sunday.”
“Time to rise and shine, and greet the new night.”
“I’m as fit as a bassoon.”
“I’m hoping Santa Claus brings me a copy of Eugenio Corti’s The Red Horse trilogy for Christmas.”
“The other day I saw a Supreme Court justice reading The Bible.”
“And, if you call now, we’ll add 15% to the price!”
“Trouble is not my middle name.”
“Aw, Mom, why can’t I go to bed early and get a good night’s sleep!?”
“You know, I really miss Dan Rather and Brian Williams.”
“I’m just not doing my job, ma’am.”
“Don’t bother covering me. I’m not going in.”
“Margaret Sanger for the twenty-dollar-bill, just to prove that we women can be as genocidal as men!”
“I was born not ready.”
“I can’t explain. This is exactly what it looks like.”
“You’ll probably get away with this.”
“There are probably several things you and anybody else can do to stop me.”
“You’ll never take me alive! Or maybe you will.”
“You look as if you haven’t seen a ghost.”
“Fire in the convexity!”
“You listen to me, and you listen good, because I’m going to say this only three or four times…”
“Is this some kind of healthy joke?”
“If there’s anything Beaumont businesses are known for, it’s good customer service.”
“I’m just fine without my Blue Bell™. Really. I’m okay…”
-30-
NIGHT OF TERROR ABOARD DOOMED AIRCRAFT!!!!!!
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
NIGHT OF TERROR ABOARD
DOOMED AIRCRAFT!!!!!!!!!!!
(Or something like that)
No, this is not a story about Air Canada flight attendants. If it were, “sneering disdain” and “snarling ill manners” would be added to the title.
Last week a Famous Name Brand airplane en route from Chicago to London made one of those famous unscheduled stops in Gander, Newfoundland because of an undisclosed malfunction. The desperate selfies / mefies / tweeties of the surviving passengers lead the free world to conclude that this was a Jade Helm kidnapping of Americans by unmarked invisible NATO / UN ninjas armed with deadly pictures of Miley Jenner twerking.
The Jade Helm operatives and their unmarked, green-powered nuclear tanks had been lurking in ambush in a series of abandoned Tim Horton’s restaurants across the frozen lunar landscape that is Newfoundland, home only to reindeer and venomous snow snakes. Eh.
Upon landing the passengers were brutally yanked out of the aircraft by knuckle-dragging OGPU agents and then flogged into icy barracks to be starved and humiliated. Such brutal maltreatment has not been inflicted on suffering people since the last of Uncle Joe Stalin’s merry gulags was shut down in the 1960s.
If any of this can be proven, the American Transportation Security Agency will have something to say about it because humiliating airline passengers is their job. As for depriving airline passengers of food, that’s Air Canada’s job.
The only comfort that can be offered to the friends and relatives of the prisoners of Jade Helm is that there is no evidence that they were forced to drink Screech rum.
The passengers were housed – possibly chained - overnight in (gasp!) barracks built by the United States Air Force. The beds were said to be uncomfortable (eeeeek!), and the inmates were given only two blankets each (oh, the humanity!).
Beyond the barbed wire the prisoners could see demented I’s d’ B’ys beating spotted owls to death with cricket bats. In Newfoundland, you see, this is their idea of a night out at Hooter’s. (Oh, I am so not going to be asked back to Newfoundland…)
As the prison barracks began to sink beneath the dark, barren wastes of bleak, icy, frozen, Godforsaken Newfoundland, the brave young men gave their blankies to women and children, and everyone held hands and sang “Nearer, my God to Thee” as Kommandant Klink accompanied them on the violin. Or maybe it was something about Gilligan’s Island – “…the Minnow would be lost…the Minnow would be lost…”
One news report said that the air crew were billeted in a hotel in Newfoundland and Labrador. This would require a demonstration of bi-location since Newfoundland is an island and Labrador is part of the Canadian mainland. The Canadian federal government, which at times can be as unclear about reality as the U.S. federal government, forced a marriage of hyphenation so that Newfoundland (which is an island about the size of Ireland) and Labrador (which is not) are on the map as one province. This is no more logical than declaring Texas and Florida to be one state.
The passengers were jealous that The Captain and Gilligan and all the rest of the flight crew got to sleep in a hotel instead of a genuine United States Air Force barracks. Yeah, and the captain and the co-pilot get to sit up front in the airplane all the time – what’s up with that, hah?
The logical passenger wants to the pilot to be well-rested, well-fed, and content with life. Passengers should be able to sit in on a job interview with the flight deck crew before every flight: “Did you get plenty of sleep last night? So how’s your personal life? Meet anyone nice lately? What are your plans for the future? Have you ever flown for Lufthansa? Were you ever a flight attendant for Air Canada?”
Two realities obtain: the first one is that whiny people whine on the whiny MeFaceSpaceBook thingies about everything. If you were to give them a new Mercedes-Benz they’d belly-ache about the paint job.
The second reality is that Newfoundland is one of the most beautiful islands on the planet. The people of Newfoundland are unquestionably the nicest group of folks anywhere, generous and hospitable, and still fond of us Yanks. Any Tim Horton’s has the best road coffee along the Trans-Can, not everyone in Newfoundland ends every sentence with “eh,” they’ve got icebergs and whales and mountains and camping and boat tours and cruise ships and universities and shopping malls and hunting and those really stupid mooses and the railway trail for walking and Gros Morne National Park and fresh fish, fish, fish and puffins (please don’t eat the puffins) and the site of Lord Baltimore’s first colony and history and culture and music and art and a ‘way-cool provincial flag.
Newfoundland does not have any snakes, mosquitoes, or stinging insects, thus proving it is not Texas.
If on a map you draw a line from Houston to London you’ll find that Newfoundland is on the way but most folks don’t think of visiting there, and that is a shame. You can look up Newfoundland at www.newfoundlandandlabrador.com.
Stuck for a day or two in Newfoundland? We should all be so lucky.
-30-
Mhall46184@aol.com
NIGHT OF TERROR ABOARD
DOOMED AIRCRAFT!!!!!!!!!!!
(Or something like that)
No, this is not a story about Air Canada flight attendants. If it were, “sneering disdain” and “snarling ill manners” would be added to the title.
Last week a Famous Name Brand airplane en route from Chicago to London made one of those famous unscheduled stops in Gander, Newfoundland because of an undisclosed malfunction. The desperate selfies / mefies / tweeties of the surviving passengers lead the free world to conclude that this was a Jade Helm kidnapping of Americans by unmarked invisible NATO / UN ninjas armed with deadly pictures of Miley Jenner twerking.
The Jade Helm operatives and their unmarked, green-powered nuclear tanks had been lurking in ambush in a series of abandoned Tim Horton’s restaurants across the frozen lunar landscape that is Newfoundland, home only to reindeer and venomous snow snakes. Eh.
Upon landing the passengers were brutally yanked out of the aircraft by knuckle-dragging OGPU agents and then flogged into icy barracks to be starved and humiliated. Such brutal maltreatment has not been inflicted on suffering people since the last of Uncle Joe Stalin’s merry gulags was shut down in the 1960s.
If any of this can be proven, the American Transportation Security Agency will have something to say about it because humiliating airline passengers is their job. As for depriving airline passengers of food, that’s Air Canada’s job.
The only comfort that can be offered to the friends and relatives of the prisoners of Jade Helm is that there is no evidence that they were forced to drink Screech rum.
The passengers were housed – possibly chained - overnight in (gasp!) barracks built by the United States Air Force. The beds were said to be uncomfortable (eeeeek!), and the inmates were given only two blankets each (oh, the humanity!).
Beyond the barbed wire the prisoners could see demented I’s d’ B’ys beating spotted owls to death with cricket bats. In Newfoundland, you see, this is their idea of a night out at Hooter’s. (Oh, I am so not going to be asked back to Newfoundland…)
As the prison barracks began to sink beneath the dark, barren wastes of bleak, icy, frozen, Godforsaken Newfoundland, the brave young men gave their blankies to women and children, and everyone held hands and sang “Nearer, my God to Thee” as Kommandant Klink accompanied them on the violin. Or maybe it was something about Gilligan’s Island – “…the Minnow would be lost…the Minnow would be lost…”
One news report said that the air crew were billeted in a hotel in Newfoundland and Labrador. This would require a demonstration of bi-location since Newfoundland is an island and Labrador is part of the Canadian mainland. The Canadian federal government, which at times can be as unclear about reality as the U.S. federal government, forced a marriage of hyphenation so that Newfoundland (which is an island about the size of Ireland) and Labrador (which is not) are on the map as one province. This is no more logical than declaring Texas and Florida to be one state.
The passengers were jealous that The Captain and Gilligan and all the rest of the flight crew got to sleep in a hotel instead of a genuine United States Air Force barracks. Yeah, and the captain and the co-pilot get to sit up front in the airplane all the time – what’s up with that, hah?
The logical passenger wants to the pilot to be well-rested, well-fed, and content with life. Passengers should be able to sit in on a job interview with the flight deck crew before every flight: “Did you get plenty of sleep last night? So how’s your personal life? Meet anyone nice lately? What are your plans for the future? Have you ever flown for Lufthansa? Were you ever a flight attendant for Air Canada?”
Two realities obtain: the first one is that whiny people whine on the whiny MeFaceSpaceBook thingies about everything. If you were to give them a new Mercedes-Benz they’d belly-ache about the paint job.
The second reality is that Newfoundland is one of the most beautiful islands on the planet. The people of Newfoundland are unquestionably the nicest group of folks anywhere, generous and hospitable, and still fond of us Yanks. Any Tim Horton’s has the best road coffee along the Trans-Can, not everyone in Newfoundland ends every sentence with “eh,” they’ve got icebergs and whales and mountains and camping and boat tours and cruise ships and universities and shopping malls and hunting and those really stupid mooses and the railway trail for walking and Gros Morne National Park and fresh fish, fish, fish and puffins (please don’t eat the puffins) and the site of Lord Baltimore’s first colony and history and culture and music and art and a ‘way-cool provincial flag.
Newfoundland does not have any snakes, mosquitoes, or stinging insects, thus proving it is not Texas.
If on a map you draw a line from Houston to London you’ll find that Newfoundland is on the way but most folks don’t think of visiting there, and that is a shame. You can look up Newfoundland at www.newfoundlandandlabrador.com.
Stuck for a day or two in Newfoundland? We should all be so lucky.
-30-
We'll Always Have Hagen-Daz - Yet More Things People Never Say
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
We’ll Always Have Hagen-Daz –
Yet More Things People Never Say
“Well, I’m not an engineer, so when the Texas Department of Transportation posts a 75 mph speed zone on a narrow, two-lane rural road that doesn’t even have a shoulder I’m sure they know what they’re doing.”
“June is not too early for back-to-school advertisements.”
“These new, made-in-China belts you’ve got on sale – were they made in Shanghai by prisoners or were they made in Shanghai of prisoners?”
“Is it just me, or is it true that the quality of movies has really gone up in the past few years?”
“We were saving up for a vacation in Hawaii, but have decided instead to visit Hagia Sophia in Constantinople.”
“I’m not worth a darn in the morning until I’ve had that first cup of lapsang souchong.”
“As a man I really appreciate those story radio ads that depict the husband, father, or boyfriend as an idiot. They’re imaginative, original, well-written, and well-spoken, and make me want to go right to that store and buy something.”
“Whenever I think of the TSA I get a warm, fuzzy feeling all over.”
“I’m sure glad our federal government went after those soccer people in Europe. Our domestic narco-terrorism can wait.”
“This computer has been doing me good for about ten years now, and I expect to get another ten years out of it.”
“Jade Helm – isn’t that one of those cheap aftershaves?”
“Mom, Dad, it’s not fair! Why won’t you let me read the poetry of John Keats or the short stories of Anton Chekhov? I’m tired of all those dumb video games you make play!”
“Sir, I have to ask you if your meal in our restaurant was okay, but really our company’s real customer service policy is from Rawhide: ‘Head ‘em up! Move ‘em out!’”
“A cigar, but not close.”
“Russian novels always help me find my happy place.”
“No real butter for my toast; give me one of those plastic tubs of yellow-stained grease, please.”
“I always vote in my local school board elections.”
“Am I tired of the time-wasting rhetorical technique of the speaker asking himself a question and then answering it? Absolutely!”
“Am I tired of people answering a question with ‘absolutely’ instead of a simple ‘yes?’ Absolutely!”
“Saudi Arabia is a solid ally, maybe the best friend this nation has.”
“The kids laughed so hard when Bambi’s mother died!”
“I was born and raised Texas tough, like a pickup truck commercial, and I’m okay with Hagen-Daz ice cream.”
-30-
Mhall46184@aol.com
We’ll Always Have Hagen-Daz –
Yet More Things People Never Say
“Well, I’m not an engineer, so when the Texas Department of Transportation posts a 75 mph speed zone on a narrow, two-lane rural road that doesn’t even have a shoulder I’m sure they know what they’re doing.”
“June is not too early for back-to-school advertisements.”
“These new, made-in-China belts you’ve got on sale – were they made in Shanghai by prisoners or were they made in Shanghai of prisoners?”
“Is it just me, or is it true that the quality of movies has really gone up in the past few years?”
“We were saving up for a vacation in Hawaii, but have decided instead to visit Hagia Sophia in Constantinople.”
“I’m not worth a darn in the morning until I’ve had that first cup of lapsang souchong.”
“As a man I really appreciate those story radio ads that depict the husband, father, or boyfriend as an idiot. They’re imaginative, original, well-written, and well-spoken, and make me want to go right to that store and buy something.”
“Whenever I think of the TSA I get a warm, fuzzy feeling all over.”
“I’m sure glad our federal government went after those soccer people in Europe. Our domestic narco-terrorism can wait.”
“This computer has been doing me good for about ten years now, and I expect to get another ten years out of it.”
“Jade Helm – isn’t that one of those cheap aftershaves?”
“Mom, Dad, it’s not fair! Why won’t you let me read the poetry of John Keats or the short stories of Anton Chekhov? I’m tired of all those dumb video games you make play!”
“Sir, I have to ask you if your meal in our restaurant was okay, but really our company’s real customer service policy is from Rawhide: ‘Head ‘em up! Move ‘em out!’”
“A cigar, but not close.”
“Russian novels always help me find my happy place.”
“No real butter for my toast; give me one of those plastic tubs of yellow-stained grease, please.”
“I always vote in my local school board elections.”
“Am I tired of the time-wasting rhetorical technique of the speaker asking himself a question and then answering it? Absolutely!”
“Am I tired of people answering a question with ‘absolutely’ instead of a simple ‘yes?’ Absolutely!”
“Saudi Arabia is a solid ally, maybe the best friend this nation has.”
“The kids laughed so hard when Bambi’s mother died!”
“I was born and raised Texas tough, like a pickup truck commercial, and I’m okay with Hagen-Daz ice cream.”
-30-
Hey, We've Still got That Other Ice Cream - Yet More Things People Never Say
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
Hey, We’ve Still got That Other Ice Cream –
Yet More Things People Never Say
“Let’s pull the envelope.”
“Fiction is stranger than truth.”
“We love our internet service provider. The service is excellent, the rates are reasonable, and on the rare occasions we contact customer service the representatives are polite and knowledgeable. We’ve heard that’s true with most internet companies.”
“Better to curse the candle than to darkness the light…or something.”
“Last week I was a high school senior and people were giving me stuff and telling me how wonderful I am; this week I’m just another unemployed adult. What happened?”
“Oh, the places you won’t go.”
“These cans of beans aren’t flying off the shelves at any price. Groceries don’t fly.”
“I’m waiting for the first shoe to drop.”
“I am not announcing my candidacy for the Republican nomination. I think there should be at least one American not running for president.”
“Don’t buy gold from us; if gold were a good investment we’d be keeping it for ourselves.”
“Our company is not on the cutting edge of anything.”
“No, I don’t want to change the world. I need to do a better job of changing myself before I presume to run a planet.”
“No fresh half-and-half or cream for my coffee; hand me a brittle packet of that bleached and dried seaweed.”
“I’ve had enough of Duggars, swamp people, duck guys, shrieking harridans, and the creepy old man who wears lingerie and thinks he’s a centerfold. Instead of tellyvision I take my kid to the public library every week to check out a book to bring home.”
“If there really is a such a thing as the bird flu, why do all the buzzards look so healthy?”
“Those rotten soccer people got what they deserve. As for me, I’m a good American and look to the NFL and ESPN for moral and ethical leadership.”
“Is it just me or is it true that drivers are more skilled and more responsible than ever?”
“This new detective novel will not have you sitting on the edge of your seat – that’s a very uncomfortable place to sit.”
“Maybe the company closed the store because it wasn’t profitable. Maybe it’s not a secret government plot to take over the country from itself. At least that’s what the Russian guys dressed in Ninja outfits driving around in an ice cream truck told me.”
“Buy the first two, and we’ll sell you the third at the same price.”
“Finally, as a tribute to the can-do frontier spirit of Texas: We’ve still got Ben and Jerry’s.”
-30-
Mhall46184@aol.com
Hey, We’ve Still got That Other Ice Cream –
Yet More Things People Never Say
“Let’s pull the envelope.”
“Fiction is stranger than truth.”
“We love our internet service provider. The service is excellent, the rates are reasonable, and on the rare occasions we contact customer service the representatives are polite and knowledgeable. We’ve heard that’s true with most internet companies.”
“Better to curse the candle than to darkness the light…or something.”
“Last week I was a high school senior and people were giving me stuff and telling me how wonderful I am; this week I’m just another unemployed adult. What happened?”
“Oh, the places you won’t go.”
“These cans of beans aren’t flying off the shelves at any price. Groceries don’t fly.”
“I’m waiting for the first shoe to drop.”
“I am not announcing my candidacy for the Republican nomination. I think there should be at least one American not running for president.”
“Don’t buy gold from us; if gold were a good investment we’d be keeping it for ourselves.”
“Our company is not on the cutting edge of anything.”
“No, I don’t want to change the world. I need to do a better job of changing myself before I presume to run a planet.”
“No fresh half-and-half or cream for my coffee; hand me a brittle packet of that bleached and dried seaweed.”
“I’ve had enough of Duggars, swamp people, duck guys, shrieking harridans, and the creepy old man who wears lingerie and thinks he’s a centerfold. Instead of tellyvision I take my kid to the public library every week to check out a book to bring home.”
“If there really is a such a thing as the bird flu, why do all the buzzards look so healthy?”
“Those rotten soccer people got what they deserve. As for me, I’m a good American and look to the NFL and ESPN for moral and ethical leadership.”
“Is it just me or is it true that drivers are more skilled and more responsible than ever?”
“This new detective novel will not have you sitting on the edge of your seat – that’s a very uncomfortable place to sit.”
“Maybe the company closed the store because it wasn’t profitable. Maybe it’s not a secret government plot to take over the country from itself. At least that’s what the Russian guys dressed in Ninja outfits driving around in an ice cream truck told me.”
“Buy the first two, and we’ll sell you the third at the same price.”
“Finally, as a tribute to the can-do frontier spirit of Texas: We’ve still got Ben and Jerry’s.”
-30-
Dialogue You Never Hear in Cowboy Movies
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dialogue You Never Hear in Cowboy Movies
“The jail hasn’t been built that can’t hold me.”
“I’ve been three months on the trail, and I’m parched from the alkali dust. Give me a nice cup of tea.”
“They’re cattle rustlers. We’re all going into town to discuss our issues and try to understand each other’s existential needs.”
“It’s not just a flesh wound.”
“We’re invitin’ you to a necktie party. All the coolest designers will be there with their autumn neckwear collections – Calvin Klein, Yves St. Laurent, Versace…”
“That’s the most dangerous stallion in the corral. He won’t be broken. He kicks. He bites. He’s put two cowboys in the hospital. His name is Fluffy.”
“Bugler - sound flip-flops and saddles!”
“I’ll be your huckleberry muffin.”
“This town’s probably big enough for the two of us.”
“They died with their open-toe sandals on.”
“That’s Beige Bart, the most mediocre hombre ever to stroll the streets of Dodge City.”
“I’ll see you in the street at high noon, marshal – wait, is that daylight savings time…?”
“Whiskey, bartender – and don’t leave the bottle.”
"I mean to hurt your feelings in one minute, Ned. Or see that you have therapy in Fort Smith at Judge Parker's convenience. Which'll it be?"
"I call that insensitive microaggression for a visually-impaired, overweight person!"
“When you say that, don’t smile.”
“I’ll see what the girls in the back room will have.”
“I’ve got a numb trigger finger.”
“We don’t have company.”
“Head ‘em down! Move ‘em in!”
“Eeeeeek! Native Americans!”
“Now Zeke, here, he’s into French New Wave. I wouldn’t bring up Italian cinema if I were you.”
“Had me a nice little Starbuck’s franchise in Tombstone…’til the Clantons moved in with their Panera Bread.”
“You be careful in the Bucket of Blood Saloon, Tex; I hear they can cut up rough over a game of chess.”
“We have an active shooting situation.”
“Hey, Shortbread! No steak and taters for me tonight. Just mix me up a nice salad.”
“Don’t shoot them rattlesnakes, Amarillo Slim; they’re an endangered species.”
“You caused a lot of trouble here today, pilgrim, and someone oughta punch you in the mouth. But I won’t. I won’t. Really, I won’t.”
“Indians, outlaws, stampedes, trail dust – I sure hope we get these here cows into Abilene in time for the Shakespeare Festival.”
“Yeah, that’s the new sheriff all right. ‘Course she’s only sheriffin’ until that job in graphics design opens up.”
“Why, heck, boys, I’d rather be hung by my friends than by a bunch of dang strangers…you know, that’s the stupidest line in fiction.”
-30-
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dialogue You Never Hear in Cowboy Movies
“The jail hasn’t been built that can’t hold me.”
“I’ve been three months on the trail, and I’m parched from the alkali dust. Give me a nice cup of tea.”
“They’re cattle rustlers. We’re all going into town to discuss our issues and try to understand each other’s existential needs.”
“It’s not just a flesh wound.”
“We’re invitin’ you to a necktie party. All the coolest designers will be there with their autumn neckwear collections – Calvin Klein, Yves St. Laurent, Versace…”
“That’s the most dangerous stallion in the corral. He won’t be broken. He kicks. He bites. He’s put two cowboys in the hospital. His name is Fluffy.”
“Bugler - sound flip-flops and saddles!”
“I’ll be your huckleberry muffin.”
“This town’s probably big enough for the two of us.”
“They died with their open-toe sandals on.”
“That’s Beige Bart, the most mediocre hombre ever to stroll the streets of Dodge City.”
“I’ll see you in the street at high noon, marshal – wait, is that daylight savings time…?”
“Whiskey, bartender – and don’t leave the bottle.”
"I mean to hurt your feelings in one minute, Ned. Or see that you have therapy in Fort Smith at Judge Parker's convenience. Which'll it be?"
"I call that insensitive microaggression for a visually-impaired, overweight person!"
“When you say that, don’t smile.”
“I’ll see what the girls in the back room will have.”
“I’ve got a numb trigger finger.”
“We don’t have company.”
“Head ‘em down! Move ‘em in!”
“Eeeeeek! Native Americans!”
“Now Zeke, here, he’s into French New Wave. I wouldn’t bring up Italian cinema if I were you.”
“Had me a nice little Starbuck’s franchise in Tombstone…’til the Clantons moved in with their Panera Bread.”
“You be careful in the Bucket of Blood Saloon, Tex; I hear they can cut up rough over a game of chess.”
“We have an active shooting situation.”
“Hey, Shortbread! No steak and taters for me tonight. Just mix me up a nice salad.”
“Don’t shoot them rattlesnakes, Amarillo Slim; they’re an endangered species.”
“You caused a lot of trouble here today, pilgrim, and someone oughta punch you in the mouth. But I won’t. I won’t. Really, I won’t.”
“Indians, outlaws, stampedes, trail dust – I sure hope we get these here cows into Abilene in time for the Shakespeare Festival.”
“Yeah, that’s the new sheriff all right. ‘Course she’s only sheriffin’ until that job in graphics design opens up.”
“Why, heck, boys, I’d rather be hung by my friends than by a bunch of dang strangers…you know, that’s the stupidest line in fiction.”
-30-
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
For Friends in Canada
Canada Day? Just One?
With love from an ‘umble Yank
But every day is Canada Day!
The afternoon plane lands in Halifax
When the hatch is popped, cool air rushes in
Even the fog is happy in Canada
The Muskogee never made landfall here
And so we pilgrimage for her, complete
Her voyage from ’42 to Canada
Wolfville, Grand Pre’, Le Grande Derangement
The Deportation Cross and beer cans
Well, God forgive the Redcoats anyway
Newfoundland
Is a bold
Anapest
The church spires in a line, the light is green
The bold young captain shoots the narrows wild
Can you find your way to your painted house?
To walk again the cobbles of Ferryland
And smell the very blue of the Atlantic
The sea-blown wind is cold in Canada
Blue Puttees and a mourning Caribou
Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord
Good children sing “We love thee, Newfoundland”
Quebec – royal city of New France
May Le Bon Dieu bless the Plains of Abraham,
And may God bless
The signs an English driver cannot read
The Coca-Cola streets of Niagara Falls
Yanks laugh at made-in-China Mountie mugs
And buy them, happy to be in Canada
A cup of Toujours Frais from – well, that place
But to us in your southern provinces
Below Niagara, Tim too is Canada
But Canada goes on; these scribbles must not -
Your grateful guest wishes only to say
That every happy day is Canada Day!
With love from an ‘umble Yank
But every day is Canada Day!
The afternoon plane lands in Halifax
When the hatch is popped, cool air rushes in
Even the fog is happy in Canada
The Muskogee never made landfall here
And so we pilgrimage for her, complete
Her voyage from ’42 to Canada
Wolfville, Grand Pre’, Le Grande Derangement
The Deportation Cross and beer cans
Well, God forgive the Redcoats anyway
Newfoundland
Is a bold
Anapest
The church spires in a line, the light is green
The bold young captain shoots the narrows wild
Can you find your way to your painted house?
To walk again the cobbles of Ferryland
And smell the very blue of the Atlantic
The sea-blown wind is cold in Canada
Blue Puttees and a mourning Caribou
Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord
Good children sing “We love thee, Newfoundland”
Quebec – royal city of New France
May Le Bon Dieu bless the Plains of Abraham,
And may God bless
The signs an English driver cannot read
The Coca-Cola streets of Niagara Falls
Yanks laugh at made-in-China Mountie mugs
And buy them, happy to be in Canada
A cup of Toujours Frais from – well, that place
But to us in your southern provinces
Below Niagara, Tim too is Canada
But Canada goes on; these scribbles must not -
Your grateful guest wishes only to say
That every happy day is Canada Day!
Sunday, June 21, 2015
With True Prayers
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
With True Prayers
“…but with true prayers
That shall be up at heaven and enter there”
-Measure for Measure II.ii.151-152
A study table is an Altar too
Whereon repose not only holy books
But also hopes and prayers and coffee cups
On Wednesday evening – there in fellowship
To crown the middle of the busy week
With an hour or two of quiet discourse
And, yes, laughter, joy, and merriment
Among dear friends, our happy gifts from God -
Evil cannot veto, even with our blood
The truth: this table is an Altar too
Mhall46184@aol.com
With True Prayers
“…but with true prayers
That shall be up at heaven and enter there”
-Measure for Measure II.ii.151-152
A study table is an Altar too
Whereon repose not only holy books
But also hopes and prayers and coffee cups
On Wednesday evening – there in fellowship
To crown the middle of the busy week
With an hour or two of quiet discourse
And, yes, laughter, joy, and merriment
Among dear friends, our happy gifts from God -
Evil cannot veto, even with our blood
The truth: this table is an Altar too
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
The Photographs of D.T. Kent, Jr.
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
The Photographs of D. T. Kent, Jr. I
“Old men forget…”
-Henry V
We see them in D.T.’s old photographs
Still standing tall on a Kirbyville street
Leaning upon a crutch or stick or friend
Or sitting in the summer shade at home
Shelling peas, shucking corn, mending harness
Because idle hands are the devil’s workshop
Loggers, farmers, railroaders, sawmill men
Always summoned to the government’s wars
But never to the White House for a medal -
That honor is not for the likes of them
The Photographs of D. T. Kent, Jr. II
“...she is a woman / More worth than any man…”
-The Winter’s Tale
We see them in D.T.’s old photographs
Standing on the steps of the Methodist church
The worthy women of the Bible Class
More dutiful than any old bishop
In teaching, preaching, healing errant souls
Whether daughters or sons, husbands or mules
Shelling peas, shucking corn, mending a quilt
Because idle hands are the devil’s workshop
And never taking tea with the First Lady –
Who would be welcome in for supper, though
The Photographs of D. T. Kent, Jr. III
“…an aery of children…”
-Hamlet
We see them in D.T.’s old photographs
Playing on the steps of a country church
Or running barefoot in the cow-cropped grass
Before Ma’am rings the bell for Sunday school
Getting up the milk cows, fishing in the pond
Or sitting in the summer shade at home
Made to shell peas, shuck corn, mend harness
Because idle hands are the devil’s workshop
If they were asked to the White House to play
Momma would make them wash behind their ears
The Photographs of D. T. Kent, Jr. IV
“It was a lover and his lass…”
-As You Like It
We see the girls in D.T.’s photographs
Discreetly flirting on a Kirbyville street
Under the stern-browed matrons’ watchful eyes
Or jitterbugging to the new jukebox
In some joint Momma wouldn’t approve of
Cokes, Nehis, and Dr Peppers raised high
Because the sawmill hands got paid today
And the other boys are home from the war:
Oh, look how happy they are, our moms and dads
Forever young, forever in our hearts
Thank you, Mr. Kent
Mhall46184@aol.com
The Photographs of D. T. Kent, Jr. I
“Old men forget…”
-Henry V
We see them in D.T.’s old photographs
Still standing tall on a Kirbyville street
Leaning upon a crutch or stick or friend
Or sitting in the summer shade at home
Shelling peas, shucking corn, mending harness
Because idle hands are the devil’s workshop
Loggers, farmers, railroaders, sawmill men
Always summoned to the government’s wars
But never to the White House for a medal -
That honor is not for the likes of them
The Photographs of D. T. Kent, Jr. II
“...she is a woman / More worth than any man…”
-The Winter’s Tale
We see them in D.T.’s old photographs
Standing on the steps of the Methodist church
The worthy women of the Bible Class
More dutiful than any old bishop
In teaching, preaching, healing errant souls
Whether daughters or sons, husbands or mules
Shelling peas, shucking corn, mending a quilt
Because idle hands are the devil’s workshop
And never taking tea with the First Lady –
Who would be welcome in for supper, though
The Photographs of D. T. Kent, Jr. III
“…an aery of children…”
-Hamlet
We see them in D.T.’s old photographs
Playing on the steps of a country church
Or running barefoot in the cow-cropped grass
Before Ma’am rings the bell for Sunday school
Getting up the milk cows, fishing in the pond
Or sitting in the summer shade at home
Made to shell peas, shuck corn, mend harness
Because idle hands are the devil’s workshop
If they were asked to the White House to play
Momma would make them wash behind their ears
The Photographs of D. T. Kent, Jr. IV
“It was a lover and his lass…”
-As You Like It
We see the girls in D.T.’s photographs
Discreetly flirting on a Kirbyville street
Under the stern-browed matrons’ watchful eyes
Or jitterbugging to the new jukebox
In some joint Momma wouldn’t approve of
Cokes, Nehis, and Dr Peppers raised high
Because the sawmill hands got paid today
And the other boys are home from the war:
Oh, look how happy they are, our moms and dads
Forever young, forever in our hearts
Thank you, Mr. Kent
Thursday, June 4, 2015
Posing for Selfies at the Foot of the Cross
Lawrence Hall
mhall46184@aol.com
Posing for Selfies at the Foot of the Cross
A Doctor Mengele can cut and sew
Fragments of human flesh into a lie
And hide with perfume, paint, and filtered lens
This mockery of the embalmer’s art
That writhes in coils around the Tree of Life
Dressed richly in the colors of decay
And hisses through an anaesthetic smile
“That’s just the way the world works now.”
And let The People say how brave it is
To pose for selfies at the foot of the Cross
mhall46184@aol.com
Posing for Selfies at the Foot of the Cross
A Doctor Mengele can cut and sew
Fragments of human flesh into a lie
And hide with perfume, paint, and filtered lens
This mockery of the embalmer’s art
That writhes in coils around the Tree of Life
Dressed richly in the colors of decay
And hisses through an anaesthetic smile
“That’s just the way the world works now.”
And let The People say how brave it is
To pose for selfies at the foot of the Cross
Sunday, May 31, 2015
More Things People Never Say
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
More Things People Never Say
So how is wearing a red clown nose going to help anyone other than the manufacturers of red clown noses? And what happened to that money I gave someone else last year when I threw a bucket of ice water over my head?
My son’s been arrested several times. Clearly I didn’t raise him better than that.
I really miss the Habsburgs and the Romanovs. The Saxe-Coburg-Gothas are okay in their own way, of course.
I think he’s found all his marbles.
It ain’t over until the skinny gentleman sings.
Vote for me – I’m a Washington insider.
I sure hope Japan kills more whales this year.
Blue Bell wasn’t all that good anyway.
Harp seal – it’s what’s for dinner.
A new tie is a great Fathers’ Day gift.
Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.
He’s an undecorated veteran.
My lips are unsealed.
Soon to be a minor motion picture.
Pay it backward.
At least he died doing what he didn’t like.
This new book is a must-not-read.
You’ve got some small shoes to fill.
When they made him they kept the mold.
The experience was jaw-lifting.
This next speaker will not change your life forever.
Why, yes, I am surgically attached to my MePhone.
Here’s how we attract the youth to church – we tell them the simple truth and cut out all the entertainment.
Ya gotta find your periphery, man; ya gotta find your periphery.
When I grow up I want to be a cop or a teacher.
Oh, do look at the house; it’s not such a mess.
My homework ate my dog – that was one wild biology experiment.
I’m going to the camera shop for a selfless stick.
The other kids and I are reading The Brothers Karamazov this summer. So cool!
-30-
Mhall46184@aol.com
More Things People Never Say
So how is wearing a red clown nose going to help anyone other than the manufacturers of red clown noses? And what happened to that money I gave someone else last year when I threw a bucket of ice water over my head?
My son’s been arrested several times. Clearly I didn’t raise him better than that.
I really miss the Habsburgs and the Romanovs. The Saxe-Coburg-Gothas are okay in their own way, of course.
I think he’s found all his marbles.
It ain’t over until the skinny gentleman sings.
Vote for me – I’m a Washington insider.
I sure hope Japan kills more whales this year.
Blue Bell wasn’t all that good anyway.
Harp seal – it’s what’s for dinner.
A new tie is a great Fathers’ Day gift.
Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.
He’s an undecorated veteran.
My lips are unsealed.
Soon to be a minor motion picture.
Pay it backward.
At least he died doing what he didn’t like.
This new book is a must-not-read.
You’ve got some small shoes to fill.
When they made him they kept the mold.
The experience was jaw-lifting.
This next speaker will not change your life forever.
Why, yes, I am surgically attached to my MePhone.
Here’s how we attract the youth to church – we tell them the simple truth and cut out all the entertainment.
Ya gotta find your periphery, man; ya gotta find your periphery.
When I grow up I want to be a cop or a teacher.
Oh, do look at the house; it’s not such a mess.
My homework ate my dog – that was one wild biology experiment.
I’m going to the camera shop for a selfless stick.
The other kids and I are reading The Brothers Karamazov this summer. So cool!
-30-
Embrace Your Inner Adult
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
Embrace Your Inner Adult
With the last of the fictional, cliché-sodden, wish-fulfillment graduation speeches cluttering up our in-boxes we can now turn to the more casual summer pattern of talking back to the filler-language of reporters and interviewers:
This video is going bacterial.
We’re in charted territory.
We need to educate for the 12th century.
Follow your works.
Let’s think inside the box.
There is something new under the sun.
Be careful what you wish for; you might not get it.
Let’s throw more money at the problem.
This isn’t ridiculous! This isn’t ridiculous!
The times need to get with the Church.
That’s just the way the world doesn’t work now.
We didn’t dodge the bullet; the bullet dodged us.
OMZ! OMZ! (for “Oh my Zeus!”) on the repeated amateur footage of tornado porn on what used to be a weather channel.
I say “Kafka-esque” a lot, but I don’t know what that means.
He pushed in all the stops.
The storm was imperfect.
He’s not a lone wolf. Lone gerbil, maybe.
You need to give 95 percent.
Write from your pancreas, not from your heart.
Inexact change, please.
I’d like some extra cholesterol with that.
That is so new school.
And, as a farewell to graduation speeches until December,
I just love guest speakers at graduation. I only wish they would talk longer. After all, I’m not much interested in seeing my child receive her diploma.
-30-
Mhall46184@aol.com
Embrace Your Inner Adult
With the last of the fictional, cliché-sodden, wish-fulfillment graduation speeches cluttering up our in-boxes we can now turn to the more casual summer pattern of talking back to the filler-language of reporters and interviewers:
This video is going bacterial.
We’re in charted territory.
We need to educate for the 12th century.
Follow your works.
Let’s think inside the box.
There is something new under the sun.
Be careful what you wish for; you might not get it.
Let’s throw more money at the problem.
This isn’t ridiculous! This isn’t ridiculous!
The times need to get with the Church.
That’s just the way the world doesn’t work now.
We didn’t dodge the bullet; the bullet dodged us.
OMZ! OMZ! (for “Oh my Zeus!”) on the repeated amateur footage of tornado porn on what used to be a weather channel.
I say “Kafka-esque” a lot, but I don’t know what that means.
He pushed in all the stops.
The storm was imperfect.
He’s not a lone wolf. Lone gerbil, maybe.
You need to give 95 percent.
Write from your pancreas, not from your heart.
Inexact change, please.
I’d like some extra cholesterol with that.
That is so new school.
And, as a farewell to graduation speeches until December,
I just love guest speakers at graduation. I only wish they would talk longer. After all, I’m not much interested in seeing my child receive her diploma.
-30-
Casablanca - The Remake
Mack Hall, HSG
Mhall46184@aol.com
Casablanca – The Remake
In the re-make of Casablanca most scenes take place in Rick’s Juice Bar
Americain, where a cast of international characters seek desperately for the
Downloads of Transit signed by the Belgian government. The villains are
agents of Boa Constrictor Wireless Service who want to prevent Victor and Ilsa
from switching to cheaper and better data access.
The dialogue must be brought up to date, of course:
“Perhaps tomorrow we’ll be on the Amtrak.”
“To all officers - two Belgian couriers carrying important official downloads murdered on Amtrak from Oran. Murderer and possible accomplices headed for Casablanca. Round up all suspicious taxpayers and search them for illegally downloaded games on their MePhones. And for made-in-China designer knockoffs. Important.”
Captain Renault: “What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?”
Rick: “Broadband access. I came to Casablanca for the broadband access.”
Captain Renault: Broadband access? What broadband access ? We're in
a dead zone.”
Rick: “I was misinformed by the ap.”
Rick: “I have the downloads right here.”
Captain Renault: “Tell me, when we searched the place, where were they?”
Rick: “Sam's MePod.”
Captain Renault: “Serves me right for not being musical. “
“I am shocked! Shocked! To learn that there is smoking going on in here.”
“Your Cuban cigars, monsieur.”
“Oh, thank you very much.”
“I remember every detail – the Germans wore grey; you wore a ‘Spawn of Satan’ baseball cap.”
Captain Renault: “Oh no, Emil, please. A bottle of your best champagne, and
put it on my bill.”
Emil: “Very well, sir.”
Victor Laszlo: “Captain, please...”
Captain Renault: Oh, please, monsieur. It is a little game we play. They put it
on the bill, I charge it to my Republican National Committee credit card. It is
very convenient.”
Sam: “We'll take the two-cylinder, environmentally-friendly car. We'll let the
computer drive all night. We'll play video games. We'll get matching Bro tattoos
and stay away until she's gone. “
Major Strasser: “You give him credit for too much cleverness. My impression
was that he's just another blundering American.”
Captain Renault: “We musn't underestimate American blundering. I was with
them when they blundered into Korea, Viet-Nam, Cambodia, Laos, Iran,
Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Somalia, Haiti, Sudan, Bosnia, Ethiopia,
Pakistan, Yemen, Libya, Cuba, Liberia, Panama, Serbia…”
“If you can program it for her you can program it for me. Program it, Sam.”
Rick: “And remember, this tazer is pointed right at your heart.”
Captain Renault: “That is my least vulnerable spot.”
“We’ll always have Louisiana State University’s $85 million swimming pool and kiddie-park…um…educational support center.”
Rick: “Now, you've got to listen to me! You have any idea what you'd have to
look forward to if you stayed here? Nine chances out of ten, we'd both wind up
in a mandatory sensitivity training program. Isn't that true, Louie?”
Captain Reynaud: “I’m afraid Doctor Reverend Major Strasser would insist.”
“Round up the usual taxpayers.”
“Here’s looking at you, kid – and I say that without any hint of patronizing male chauvinism.”
Victor Laszlo: “Welcome back to the discussion. This time I know our side will
try to understand genocidal maniacs better.”
“Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship if the Federal Trade Commission and the Supreme Court are okay with it.”
(Rick and Louis walk away into the fog as Lindsey Khardassian twerks to the Belgian national anthem.)
-30-
Mhall46184@aol.com
Casablanca – The Remake
In the re-make of Casablanca most scenes take place in Rick’s Juice Bar
Americain, where a cast of international characters seek desperately for the
Downloads of Transit signed by the Belgian government. The villains are
agents of Boa Constrictor Wireless Service who want to prevent Victor and Ilsa
from switching to cheaper and better data access.
The dialogue must be brought up to date, of course:
“Perhaps tomorrow we’ll be on the Amtrak.”
“To all officers - two Belgian couriers carrying important official downloads murdered on Amtrak from Oran. Murderer and possible accomplices headed for Casablanca. Round up all suspicious taxpayers and search them for illegally downloaded games on their MePhones. And for made-in-China designer knockoffs. Important.”
Captain Renault: “What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?”
Rick: “Broadband access. I came to Casablanca for the broadband access.”
Captain Renault: Broadband access? What broadband access ? We're in
a dead zone.”
Rick: “I was misinformed by the ap.”
Rick: “I have the downloads right here.”
Captain Renault: “Tell me, when we searched the place, where were they?”
Rick: “Sam's MePod.”
Captain Renault: “Serves me right for not being musical. “
“I am shocked! Shocked! To learn that there is smoking going on in here.”
“Your Cuban cigars, monsieur.”
“Oh, thank you very much.”
“I remember every detail – the Germans wore grey; you wore a ‘Spawn of Satan’ baseball cap.”
Captain Renault: “Oh no, Emil, please. A bottle of your best champagne, and
put it on my bill.”
Emil: “Very well, sir.”
Victor Laszlo: “Captain, please...”
Captain Renault: Oh, please, monsieur. It is a little game we play. They put it
on the bill, I charge it to my Republican National Committee credit card. It is
very convenient.”
Sam: “We'll take the two-cylinder, environmentally-friendly car. We'll let the
computer drive all night. We'll play video games. We'll get matching Bro tattoos
and stay away until she's gone. “
Major Strasser: “You give him credit for too much cleverness. My impression
was that he's just another blundering American.”
Captain Renault: “We musn't underestimate American blundering. I was with
them when they blundered into Korea, Viet-Nam, Cambodia, Laos, Iran,
Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Somalia, Haiti, Sudan, Bosnia, Ethiopia,
Pakistan, Yemen, Libya, Cuba, Liberia, Panama, Serbia…”
“If you can program it for her you can program it for me. Program it, Sam.”
Rick: “And remember, this tazer is pointed right at your heart.”
Captain Renault: “That is my least vulnerable spot.”
“We’ll always have Louisiana State University’s $85 million swimming pool and kiddie-park…um…educational support center.”
Rick: “Now, you've got to listen to me! You have any idea what you'd have to
look forward to if you stayed here? Nine chances out of ten, we'd both wind up
in a mandatory sensitivity training program. Isn't that true, Louie?”
Captain Reynaud: “I’m afraid Doctor Reverend Major Strasser would insist.”
“Round up the usual taxpayers.”
“Here’s looking at you, kid – and I say that without any hint of patronizing male chauvinism.”
Victor Laszlo: “Welcome back to the discussion. This time I know our side will
try to understand genocidal maniacs better.”
“Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship if the Federal Trade Commission and the Supreme Court are okay with it.”
(Rick and Louis walk away into the fog as Lindsey Khardassian twerks to the Belgian national anthem.)
-30-
The Heart of the House
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
The Heart of the House
In the place of honor, a great flat screen -
No sacred image of Our Lady Queen
No crucifix, cross, or ikon Hellene
No painting of some calm pastoral scene -
No, only a glowing, pulsing flat screen
On which nothing worthy is ever seen
Mhall46184@aol.com
The Heart of the House
In the place of honor, a great flat screen -
No sacred image of Our Lady Queen
No crucifix, cross, or ikon Hellene
No painting of some calm pastoral scene -
No, only a glowing, pulsing flat screen
On which nothing worthy is ever seen
The Fall of Man
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
The Fall of Man
A Christian walking down the street -
A dog came by and tripped his feet
The man fell down; oh, gosh, it hurt!
Another man (his name was Bert)
Said
“We don’t agree on what’s essential;
I, you see, am existential
I’ll call my friend; you’re in a fix -
You’ll need two walking agnostics!
(Thank you. Thank you very much.)
Mhall46184@aol.com
The Fall of Man
A Christian walking down the street -
A dog came by and tripped his feet
The man fell down; oh, gosh, it hurt!
Another man (his name was Bert)
Said
“We don’t agree on what’s essential;
I, you see, am existential
I’ll call my friend; you’re in a fix -
You’ll need two walking agnostics!
(Thank you. Thank you very much.)
Birdsong
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Birdsong
St. Matthew 10:29
A fledgling dead, its little body limp
Not yet devoured by cats and ants and time
New russet feathers shining back the sun
And silent wings that cannot weave the wind
A handsome beak that now will never know
The sensual savour of seeds and worms,
Or gossip and prate around the leafy lawn
Where summer romance sweetens the twilight air:
We only know that this small life was sent -
And that may well explain the universe
Mhall46184@aol.com
Birdsong
St. Matthew 10:29
A fledgling dead, its little body limp
Not yet devoured by cats and ants and time
New russet feathers shining back the sun
And silent wings that cannot weave the wind
A handsome beak that now will never know
The sensual savour of seeds and worms,
Or gossip and prate around the leafy lawn
Where summer romance sweetens the twilight air:
We only know that this small life was sent -
And that may well explain the universe
Decoration Day on A.M. Radio
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Decoration Day on A.M. Radio
Willing to die for their country subscribe
Made the ultimate sacrifice buy stuff
All gave some some gave all your credit card
On the beaches of Normandy buy now
In the jungles of Viet-Nam on sale
In Afghanistan this offer ends soon
We honor those who served at a discount
Thank you for your service to our profits
Obey us if you love America
And buy more stuff from us radio heroes
A Bonfire of the Tree of Life
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
A Bonfire of the Tree of Life
Ireland 2015
Who made a bonfire of the Tree of Life?
And grilled snakefingers on the glowing coals
With one last autumn apple for dessert
And one last walk through gardens of decay
Then out through wooshing automatic doors
Guarded by cameras with flaming lenses
Against fig leaves and the popular vote
And tattooed Albigensians at play
In the fields of evolutionary regress
Who made a bonfire of the Tree of Life
Mhall46184@aol.com
A Bonfire of the Tree of Life
Ireland 2015
Who made a bonfire of the Tree of Life?
And grilled snakefingers on the glowing coals
With one last autumn apple for dessert
And one last walk through gardens of decay
Then out through wooshing automatic doors
Guarded by cameras with flaming lenses
Against fig leaves and the popular vote
And tattooed Albigensians at play
In the fields of evolutionary regress
Who made a bonfire of the Tree of Life
The Mobius Strip
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
The Mobius Strip
What is more obvious than a smooth flat plane?
The clever Mobius begins as such
Thus promising an end somewhere out there
Deceiving soon the careless voyager
With loops that are not loops, and yet they are
With straights that are not straights, and yet they are
In disappearing back into themselves
They never go away or come again
Life twisting into a twist that is no twist -
What is more devious than a smooth flat plane?
Mhall46184@aol.com
The Mobius Strip
What is more obvious than a smooth flat plane?
The clever Mobius begins as such
Thus promising an end somewhere out there
Deceiving soon the careless voyager
With loops that are not loops, and yet they are
With straights that are not straights, and yet they are
In disappearing back into themselves
They never go away or come again
Life twisting into a twist that is no twist -
What is more devious than a smooth flat plane?
Why is the Man in the Moon Always Happy?
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Why is the Man in the Moon Always Happy?
The Man in the Moon is smiling tonight
His duty is his joy, to take his place
Within the celestial liturgy
Whose rubrics were appointed before time
So that the spheres in happy dignity
Perform their sacred offices to God,
Ab Introibo ad Benedicat,
As ceremonies of grateful creation
And that is why, with angels, stars, and us
The Man in the Moon is smiling tonight
Mhall46184@aol.com
Why is the Man in the Moon Always Happy?
The Man in the Moon is smiling tonight
His duty is his joy, to take his place
Within the celestial liturgy
Whose rubrics were appointed before time
So that the spheres in happy dignity
Perform their sacred offices to God,
Ab Introibo ad Benedicat,
As ceremonies of grateful creation
And that is why, with angels, stars, and us
The Man in the Moon is smiling tonight
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